Do you want to hear my pet peeve for the night of February 9th, 2008?  Of course you do!  Actually now I have two of them.  I can't stand the fucking term pet peeve either.  Otherwise, we're going to discuss dating sites.  Now as you know, most dating websites are pop-up filled wastes of time and money and if you're lucky, you won't get upwards of 15 emails a day with taglines like "I think ur hot", and "I like your smile LOLOLOL", etc.  But I do, because I made the mistake of joining one once for a free trial.  During that time I may have gotten one or two actual, legitimate emails.  The rest, I am completely convinced, are simply spam accounts designed to get you to sign back up to see who is so frantically searching for their one true love in YOU.

Yeah right. 

Aside from this fact of internet nature, there is actually something that annoys me just as much or more than the spam I keep getting.  Real, FREE dating sites are rare, but there's one called plentyoffish.com. that I signed up at a week or so ago.  Things seem to be pretty cool there, although a female friend signed up and was almost immediately bombarded with requests for her phone number from weirdos who asked if she's into leather.  Might I mention that no women have approached me with such advances.  *sad face*

Seriously though, men are slime sometimes, believe me.  Back to my original rant.  So I'm cruising through the profiles of people in my area, and noticing how ugly a lot of them are, and how maybe one of the attractive ones has viewed my profile (WOO HOO), but more disturbing than that is that there seems to be a habit among women over the age of 25 to fill up one of their profile photo slots with a shot of their DOG. 

Listen, idiot, this is not plentyofdogs.com.  It's a dating site for people.  PEOPLE.  As retarded as much of humanity has proven itself to be, at least I can count on the people I know not to think anyone wants to see their fucking dog when they're trying to make a friend or possibly more.  I guess you have to be a dog lover to understand the logic behind putting up an array of photos of yourself followed by a slobbering mongrel who you just love to pieces.  It's still a dog, and this is still a dating site for human beings.  The only thing you're likely to accomplish is attracting furries.  It's just unattractive.  I don't care if you agree with me.  I'm as sure that there are sites out there for rating dog photos as I am that the sun will rise tomorrow and there will still be people posting their pets in their personal ads.

I know I'm probably biased, but cats?  They're ok, you see, because in most photos, a girl is holding a cat, and that usually makes the picture cuter by definition.  There is no high contrast shot of an ugly wet nose and huge tongue hanging out of an empty canine skull.  You have not attracted me, you have actually said to me "I like tall dark handsome men, chocolate cake, American Idol, Nascar, and apple pie."

BORING.  Also woof.... your fucking dog will know what I said.

I decided to edit this in, because it also defies logic.  When you post like 7 pics of yourself on your profile, there really is no point in putting "Prefers not to say" in response to "Body type".  If I can see your upper half, I have a pretty good idea about the rest of you, unless by some bizarre accident, your bottom half is a tugboat or Newt Gingrich.  Wtf.