• evil_twin said on Feb 06, 2008....

  Hey Polar :-) I read that post the other day, but I didn't comment because I thought you were looking for comments from other parents. And since I didn't fit that bill, I didn't say anything. But if you want to know what my own childhood was like, I'll tell you.
  
  My parents were really affectionate, especially my mom. And she still is. She still always kisses me and squishes me too tight with hugs. But I don't mind it. I like it. It's nice to know your mom feels that way. The only time it ever bothered me was when I was a teenager, because I was too cool to have my mom shouting out that she loved me or hugging me, in front of my friends. I think everyone goes through that though. It's a phase.
  
  I don't think there's anything wrong with the way you handle Tigger. I think a child should be told they're loved all the time, because as they get older, there are enough cruel people in the world who are going to make them feel the opposite. At least he'll always know his mom loves him. It'd be way worse if you never told him. Because then he wouldn't ever know.
  
  -evil_twin LA
  

• rupert7 said on Feb 06, 2008....

  Polar - I had wonderful parents but it is a subject i find difficult to talk about.It would seem that perhaps i am not alone.Males can be as strange as females, or so it appears! :-)))

• dailyachesandpains said on Feb 07, 2008....

  Hey Polar!
  Ahhh...men!  LOL!  Just kidding guys!
  Daily

• bluegum said on Feb 07, 2008....

  i recieved no physical  or verbal demonstration of love from my father even though we were close
  my mother was more able to demonstrate her love to me.
  wifie taught me to love my children by the way she loved me and our first born we have four children and 10 grandchildren i have no trouble hugging and telling my children that i love them the oldest son is 39 the grandchildren get heaps ,iget heaps.....polarheart teach your son to love

• runningbear said on Feb 07, 2008....

  I'm a man, but I've been gone for 2 days. I probably wouldn't have commented on itbecause I am not married and have no children. I prefer not to comment onmy parents right now.

• polarheart said on Feb 07, 2008....

  Twinny, thanks so much for your comment. . .its so nice to hear that you like getting affection from your mother, that does my heart a lot of good :-)
   
  Rupe, ok that's fine if you dont want to discuss it, but would you care to answer how affectionate you are towards your own children / grandchildren?
   
  Daily, why do I get the feeling that men usually want to run and hide when the words "love" or "affection" is mentioned.
   
  Bluegum, thank you very much for your comment.  My husband's parents also did not demonstrate love or speak about it. . .when we first got together he came across withdrawn.  I on the other hand came from a very affectionate family and was able to teach him to love. . .he also demonstrates a LOT of love to Tigger :-)
   
  Runningbear, thank you for stopping by.  May I ask what your opinion is then in this matter of showing affection to children especially boys?

• sheltercrow said on Feb 07, 2008....

  Rats Ripped My Flesh when I read this post. I went back and placed a kind word in for the "as strange as females" gender Jimmie Cricket like.

• Pontius_Pilate said on Feb 07, 2008....

  Posted ^_^

• beyondtheveil said on Feb 07, 2008....

  I don't talk about smooshy-gooshy things very often. I do still tell my daughter I love her every time we talk on the phone- but not the boys. I do hug them if they've been gone for a while.
  
  I think you are doing right with Tigger, I hugged mine a lot when they were young, just not older. I guess it's a Wild, Wild, West male thing.
  

• skald said on Feb 07, 2008....

  Well I am not a man  but I see they are commenting now. (((((((Hugs))))))))))
  
  Little boys love to get kissed on the cheeks and hear mum say that they are the best boys in the world and such stuff. I am sure.
  

• Kickingcrow said on Feb 07, 2008....

  

• RELICOLONY said on Feb 07, 2008....

  Hi, polarheart.
  
  My mother spoiled me rotten: I was her official food taster, we gisted while she manicured my toe and finger nails, and gave me the best chicken broths on Earth whenever I was a little ill or under the weather.
  
  Then, she duly handed me over to my father for discipline when she realized I was getting out of her control as a teenager. Both watched over me like hawks after that and my kid brother took advantage by whining each time i didn't let him get his way.
  
  It was mostly fun in my childhood, with lots of toys and things to do: no boring moments I can remember right now. There, hope that helps you with Tigger.
   
  

• silverwhisper said on Feb 08, 2008....

  hm...let's see. my father was typically asian, not often demonstrating warmth or expressing affection, whereas my mother, also somewhat typically asian, didn't often express affection outside of cooking or taking pride in my accomplishments on the rare occasion that i had any.
  
  and then i realized that if i wanted change, i had to take the first step. so i did: i made it a practice to tell my mother when we talked that i love her. and i started doing that w/ my dad, too. and it's been quite the change ever since. :>
  
  now, you're an expressive person, polar, so i think that it's quite likely that tigger knows pretty darned well that he's special and loved. but so long as you apply discipline when it's needed, i don't think you should have any problems at all. :>
  
  parenting, i understand, is the most important job we ever get and for which no one is every given "the handbook" of how to do it. it seems to me that there's nothing particularly excessive or bad about how you're doing it.
  
  ed

• rupert7 said on Feb 08, 2008....

  My sons live 2000miles away and I have very little contact with them these days. The older boy (now 33) lived with me and Jenny for several years but went back to south Australia. The younger one used to come here on holiday every year (now29) they live their own lives. I adore the grand kids (Jenny's sons kids) and the two girls Jenny and I raised from a young age are like daughters and i positivly dote on them,especially the older one (Mindie)
  
  Hey.....nobody ever had better parents than mine!
  

• polarheart said on Feb 09, 2008....

  Shelter and Pontius - thank you :-)
   
  Beyond, oh you Wild Wild West males!!!!  Thanks for the comment, Beyond.  I know that you are a good hugger :-) that counts for a whole lot!
   
  Skaldikins. . .thank you for the support my friend! (((hugs)))
   
  Kicking, dont know what the pick has to do with this blog, but it is hilarious!!!! LOL
   
  Ed, thank you for sharing your experience with your parents, it means a lot to me.  I think it is wonderful that you took the initiative to say "I love you" to them first; Mr Polar did the same with his parents.  Furthermore, I agree that love and discipline go hand in hand :-)
   
  Rupe, it does sadden me somewhat to hear that your own boys live so far away from you.  Someone should shake those boys into realising how blessed they are to have parents!!  And of course I do know that you are a great grandad!

• rupert7 said on Feb 09, 2008....

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Polar - Jenny and i visited a couple of years ago,2000 is a long way. We all get on well together. Both the boys have live in girl friends and both live near their mother. We all got together and spent  some time as "one big happy family!" But we are far apart and everyone is living their own life! In this picture taken by Jenny,we have me,sitting next to me is my EX wife's youngest daughter 9Bree) by her second husband. Next to her is my ex wife Susie. Standing behind us is my eldest son and his fiance,the young boy is Susie's youngest son by her second marriage. My youngest son is off somewhere with his girl friend! My EX has divorced for the second time and just lives with the kids!

• klausi123 said on Feb 10, 2008....

  Hi Polar. I grew up what is called a "dysfunctional familiy". My father and I respected each other, yet never were close. Being the first member of the family to get a college degree, I think my father was proud of me although he never showed his emotions. 
  My mother was the best mother somebody can wish for. She cared for everybody in the family the best way imaginable. But when I approached my teens, she still wanted her "little, good, cute boy". We disagreed quite often but also showed our love and affection for each other.
  When I lost both my parents at a young age (60,61) within eighteen months, I wished I had told them more often how much I loved them both.
  Quote - "Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family; whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one." - Jane Howard
   
  http://robertwalshkidsclothing.com 

• polarheart said on Feb 10, 2008....

  Rupe, thanks so much for sharing that picture, it is so kind of you!  It is so nice to know a bit more about your family.  Do you miss your boys a lot and wish you guys were all a bit closer, or are you at peace with the way things are?  Just asking, no pressure to answer :-)
   
  Klausi, thanks for visiting my blog.  I understand losing parents at young ages and it is sad to think that we are actually orphans although we are grown up.  I really appreciate what you said about wishing you had said it more.  I feel more and more that they way I treat Tigger with love and affection can only bring good results and not bad :-)

• steppenwolf68 said on Mar 03, 2008....

  Hi Polar! Sorry, I don't spend as much time on SC as I would like to so I don't read many posts. No men commenting? Sorry - I would have long ago if .... so here it is... from a male creature... cause of all evil in the world... what we are...

  My father never let me win at chess! When I did beat him, I knew I had earned it. And the pleased expression on his face taught me a lot indeed. One day much later we had the east coast champion at our univ. playing a simultaneous game against 15 others - I took the arrogant smile off of this face. Again, I had learned something very important from my father! Love and respect... and so much more.

  My mother taught  me, above all, to be tolerant and love my fellow man. So much to say here. She knew what an insufferable snob I was (and still am?), but never preached or held it up. She only said once, in a letter to me when I was in the army, what I was and that I should better myself for so many reasons. She didn't have to write them down - I understood. That's only one of the things she did for me, and which has opened doors for me in many cultures around the world. I like to think I inhereted her propensity for gregarious love. My wonderful "Ma"!  

  My Grandmother, (mor mor) taught me a lot about love without ever uttering one word on the subject. She lived love. And she was patient. People came from afar to her restaurant and she spoiled me. When I would look at what she was doing, she would often say, "This is how we do this..." and would demonstrate. I owe this and much more to her. And when I am standing in the kitchen, I often feel she is there with me, guiding me in the practice of what the French call "the 7th art".

  To all I am grateful for the genes they gave me. For the ability to handle both natural siences and humanities. To have the incredible dicipline as well as the depth of feeling to be able to impart, so important in music, and everything else for that matter. Words can't express the gratitude and love I have for them.

  So, Polar, now you have something from one of those nasty, unfeeling, dull creatures.... a man! (Although I consider myself more "a Daddy".)

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