• skald said on Feb 05, 2008....

  I don't think I idolize any one now. I might have when I was in my 20's or younger. And I might have been idolized too but the best thing is to see people like they are and love them still the same.
  
  I also idolized my mother when I was very young and I found out that she is just a woman later. Much later and I had to accept it and love her still the same. This applies for many other people.
  

• the_infernal_optimist said on Feb 05, 2008....

  I did idolize someone once, and it turned out to be a huge mistake. Since then, I've learned to accept people as other human beings, not demigods or perfect specimens of humanity. In my perception of others, I try to allow for whatever failings might be there, without diminishing the wonder of all of the positive things that I've come to respect/cherish about that person.
  
  I don't think I'm idolized by anyone right now except maybe my two-year-old. Even there, I try to show her that even big people (mommy, daddy, etc.) make mistakes, that nobody's perfect and that's ok.
  
  ~Infernal
  

• gingersoul said on Feb 05, 2008....

  Skald....i am sure all of us idolize their parents...soon or later their mask fall....and we are able to see the man and the woman behind their roles...they say this means growing up...

  And, being able to love somebody despite their weakness is what we gain in the process...

   

• gingersoul said on Feb 05, 2008....

  Infernal......  yes, being idolized by our kids is a delicate situation....and you do right in let them know even mom and dad can make mistakes....It has been for this reason that i let my daughter seeing me in tears in soem dark moment caused by my divorce...

  I didn't want her to grow with the conviction i was a Superhero...she understood and those tears, that wekaness of mine, cemented our bond stronger than ever..

• beyondtheveil said on Feb 05, 2008....

  ginsoul- Idolizing is ok if you know what you are doing, if you realize the pedestal is a cloud and not marble. That way they can stumble and not get hurt and as you said, a crack can bring them closer to you.
  
  We need idols, someone to look up to, someone to fit into our dreams and give us a reason to know we can go forward and better ourselves. There are many words for idols, and many names that fit them. Almost none ask to be named an idol and few can stand the test of time, the cracks will show themselves eventually.
  
  If I name one, I must realize this.
  
  If I have been one, I hope they realized this.
  

• Eilan said on Feb 05, 2008....

  When I was younger, I used to idolize older women, like teachers, professors, etc.  I don't do that so much anymore.  I don't know if anyone idolizes me.  I hope not.
  
  I never idolized my parents.
  

• skald said on Feb 06, 2008....

  And by the way I was not only talking about parents and relations but also lovers and other people. I don't see any one on a pedestal anymore. lol 

• Twylarants said on Feb 06, 2008....

  I don't think I've idolized anyone, although one person comes to mind...a neighbor  about my mother's age who I wanted to be my mother. She was a loving mother who felt sorry for me because my home life was so unhappy.  When I was in her house, she took care to make me feel part of her family. 
    I must have mentioned one time too many that I wanted to be like her when I grew up, and this ticked off my mother (who hated all her neighbors).
  At some point I was no longer allowed to be friends with her kids or mention her name in our house. 
  Her family moved away when I was a teenager, and I didn't see her for 10 years or so.  When we saw each other in a store we laughed about the fact that we now looked like mother and daughter.  I guess, subconsciously, I patterned myself after her...so, yeah...she was my idol after all.
  
  

• Jenna said on Feb 06, 2008....

   

  Interesting post Ginger......I just had a discussion on this subject with someone not too long ago.  Yes....I have been the idol and have idolized as well.  Being an idol is a tough place to be....as you said...what happens when a crack appears?  In my case I have also found that the cracks made me more precious.....and I too find the cracks in someone else quite endearing. 

  xo

• fearing said on Feb 06, 2008....

  Bookmarking for later. 
  ;-)

• cindylu said on Feb 06, 2008....

  Your post reminded me of my friend, she and I are not close now. I thought she couldn't do any wrong, and that we shared the same values, but when she fell off that pedestal, she fell hard, and I have learned never to put anyone else up there again.

• kruuyai said on Feb 06, 2008....

  marking so I can come back to this.

• Mr_Box said on Feb 06, 2008....

  I don't think I've ever actually idolized anyone. I've looked up to people, but I don't think I would say it was idolatry. I knew they had faults.

  I wasn't striving for perfection. But they were people who had qualities I'd like to possess.

  I'm pretty sure I've never been anyone's idol, except maybe to my daughter. She says I'm her hero. I'm not sure if that's the same.

• gingersoul said on Feb 06, 2008....

  BeyBey.....i think that what you are talking about is more having a role model to look up to than idolizing.....

  idolizing goes a little furher that wanting to emulate somebody because of their actions or ideas....

  When i idolized my girlfriend i didnt want be like her.....she needed to be exactly the way she was to give me a reason to be myself......

  It was like a still shot of that moment tin our life...we were perfect and we needed to continue to be percet....

  I didnt want to see her weakness when they started to show up because i became scared she would have seen mine...we needed to be that perfect to each other.....But she had always been wiser and deeper than me...and she fell by the pedestal all by herself and luckily brought me down with her....

  Eventually an idolater can even arrive to kill their idols when these ones change.....John Lennon has been one of the last idols to be killed..    

• queenparanoia said on Feb 07, 2008....

  this is weird because i think i'm doing this to my friend... and you know what? i realize that i think i'm making her life more difficult because of me... well ive been a very demanding and clingy friend for her so i think maybe i should let her go a little and let her solve her problems first.... oh wow this is weird ginger...

• beyondtheveil said on Feb 07, 2008....

  ginsoul- I have my dense moments, you know. 

• gingersoul said on Feb 07, 2008....

  BeyBey.......i like them too.....lol...

  Queenie...its not weird...dont worry...its actually good that you are able to recognize it in yourself.....let your friend breath....she will thank you and your bond will get even tighter....{hug}

• silverwhisper said on Feb 07, 2008....

  oboy...fascinating blog entry, GS!
  
  i've idolized friends, absolutely. and i fear i've been idolized once or twice. that's shocked me, just as i shocked those friends.
  
  yet our humanity, our flaws, those are--to my way of thinking--what makes us extraordinary.
  
  i have a lot of thoughts on the matter. i'll try to come back when i have those ideas thought out more clearly.
  
  ed

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