• uniquely-ironic said on Feb 05, 2008....

  Well, I'm a big believer that you can never love someone, or tell them you love them too much.
   
  When my kids were younger I would barage them with I love yous.  I was also a big hugger and kisser.  I grew up in a very love barren home so it meant a lot to me that my kids know that I love them.
   
  My kids are teenagers and I don't see them or talk to them every day.  When I do I always make a big point of telling them I love them.  No phone conversation is done until I tell them that.  I also tend to hug them the minute they walk through the door and just as they walk into their dad's house.  I've been known to hug the stuffing out of my daughter who "complains" bitterly but keeps coming back ;)

• dailyachesandpains said on Feb 05, 2008....

  I do the same, Polarkins!  If Little D. goes to stay over my Parent's for a night I find that I tell her I love her so much more during the day that she gets annoyed by it.  She and I blow kisses and pretend to grab them and we both say "Save it for later if you need it" and we both pretend to put the "kisses" we caught in our pockets for later. 
   
  I don't think you can ever tell someone you love them too much!
  {{{HUGS}}}
  Daily

• skald said on Feb 05, 2008....

  I did exactly like you and I made all kinds of silly words that I called my boys. No you are not overdoing it. This is just natural. (((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))))))

• the_infernal_optimist said on Feb 05, 2008....

  I tell little one and linebacker baby that I love them a zillion times a day (and DH jokes that their "kiss quotas" are in the hundreds daily too - I'm always giving hugs and kisses). Those little faces are just so irresistible! :) I also say things like you do, that they're the best kids ever, so smart, etc.
  
  I figure it's better to build them up and give them that firm foundation (so that when the world rushes to counteract the positives they get at home, they'll have that to lean on) than to worry about building them up too much. I don't think you can overdo that, especially the "I love you" part.
  
  ~Infernal
  

• secretlife said on Feb 05, 2008....

  when they're little, it seems so much a part of daily life to say 'i love you' to them....
  and you can never ever say it enough.  i remember so clearly the days of a zillion kisses--- every time you smell their head, you just have to kiss it!
  as they get older, at least in my experience, you tend to say it less often....instead of 20 times a day, you might get to 5 times a week...and they don't like all those demostrative kisses and hugs. so you adjust.  you tell them you love them, but in different ways.
  believe it or not, there will even be days when you're not even sure you love them!
  well, maybe for like an hour or two.
   
  i don't think there's any other love like that of mother for child.
  it's what keeps us going in the absolute worst of times.
  it's a reminder of goodness and innocence.
  it's everything.
  you can never say it enough.
  so say it as often as you can!
   
   

• fearing said on Feb 05, 2008....

  Polarkins, I tell my boys ALL the time I love them.  I make the 18 year old tell me back (even on text messages) - lol!  Scooter Bug says it on his own but he is "words of affirmation" (like me) so it is second nature for him to say it.  When I was growing up my mom didn't say it as much but she showed us differently that she loved us.  My dad said it constantly.  He also told me daily he was proud of me and loved me until the day he died.  I am a firm believer in you can't tell someone enough how much they mean to you.  There may come a day when Tigger is a teenager and it is no longer cool to have his mom saying she loves him but keep on saying it - he'll come back around again. 
  And by the way - love you bunches and bunches hon!
  

• Twylarants said on Feb 05, 2008....

  Have you ever heard an adult complain of being told too often that their parents loved them?

• fearing said on Feb 05, 2008....

  Yeah - what Twyla said! 
  (all that typing I did and she summed it up so neatly - good job Twirlybriches)
  

• gingersoul said on Feb 05, 2008....

  Pollie...sorry...but this is just the silliest question....lol...

  You are doing just great......keep doing it ......double it...lol..

  I am constantly telling my daughter how much i love her and how much she is smart and pretty and caring...

  Go ahead..dump all your love over Tigger...you are making of him a happy and balanced human being...{hugs}

• Twylarants said on Feb 05, 2008....

  Thank you Freelygiggles.

• Carlar95 said on Feb 06, 2008....

  My daughter and I say "I love you" to each other very many times. It is the last thing we here from each other at the end of every single day. We call each other "LovelyOne" or Sunshine. At bedtime I would be Like "good night LovelyOne, I love you"" She is like " I Love you too Sunshine" etc.
  Calling each other lovelyOne spells love every time we call each other! I just love it. I do not think it's stifling.

• merlin said on Feb 06, 2008....

  I think you are a great mum ,and that its realy great that you show tigger how much you love hm. I just found out im pregnant,hope i cn b a great mum like you polar

• FutureGoddess said on Feb 06, 2008....

  I grew up in a family where "I love you" was very difficult for my mother and father to say.  I knew they loved me more than anything, it was just that their parents rarely said it to them, and as a result they rarely said it to us.  The funny thing is that my sister and I both have no problem saying it - to each other, to her little boy, to others we truly love.

  After an incredibly long conversation with my father a few months ago about this very subject, I made it a point to try to make my father understand how important those words are to his children.  I now make it a point to end every conversation with "I Love you Dad", and if he doesn't say it back, I stop the conversation and say it again - he realizes that I am not "looking for it back" just so he can say it, but that he really means it. 

  So, say I love you till your kids say:  "Mom, stop it! You're embarrassing!" then say it even more.  :)

• soleme said on Feb 06, 2008....

  You are as normal as the rest of us!

  Keeping on telling Tigger how much you love hime!!!!!!!!!!

  I tell my 9 yr old daughter I love her everday day, a million times, she does the same and gives me a hug with a kiss,at home.  Now, out in public or at school she gives the yea, yea, yea line , along with you are embarrassing me.

   

• quietone said on Feb 06, 2008....

  my daughter says the same to my grandchildren and the oldest one is 8 and he is just fine and they both now say it to their parents and to me when they are at my house.. about 10 times a day I hear "I love you grammy"  so I think it is wonderful and very normal..if not special.  No one can hear that enough! 

• cindylu said on Feb 06, 2008....

  I don't know if I do that 10 times a day or not, but I might.  We have our own church school, so I call him at least twice a day while he is at school (usually break time), and I know I tel him in the morning on the way to school, and when I come back home in the evening.  So, maybe more like 5 times a day for me . When he was Tigger's age, I think I did, so that is good if you ask me.

• polarheart said on Feb 06, 2008....

  U-I, you obviously have a great relationship with your girls - - - and I also love to give those "stuffing out of" hugs!! :-)

  Dailykins, aww thanks for making me feel normal. . .they are just at such an adorable age that it is hard not just want to have them like this forever!

  Skald, I am glad to hear you did it with your boys esp. because I know you have a good relationship with your children now as adults.  I was a bit concerned that because Tigger is a boy that I was just giving too much motherly love.  I also make up silly words with Tigger and he loves to laugh at me :-)

  Infernal, yes that is how I see it too.  It is building them up and also giving them confidence.  Mr Polar did not grow up in an affectionate family at all and he said that he wishes he had more close times with his mother, who is no longer with us.

  Secret, thanks for your comment.  I keep thinking exactly that - - - that he will grow up and perhaps not allow me to be so close and thus I want to enjoy every minute of this lovely age of kisses and cuddles and "I love you's".

• polarheart said on Feb 06, 2008....

  Fearing, I love how you say that you make the older one say it back to you. . .but of course I know you're the best mom ever and he does it because you are.  I know what you mean about "words of affirmation" - is that from the 5 Love Languages?  I still haven't read that book!  I think I may be the same :-)
   
  Twyla, no I haven't ever heard any complaints from adults about that! LOL
   
  Ginger, yes I suppose it is a silly question! LOL!  You see because Tigger is a boy I thought perhaps I should not do it so much, but I have also been thinking about my brothers with my mother and there was a LOT of affection between them.  Today still they will tell you that she was an angel on this earth.  I hope I will have the same legacy with Tigger.
   
  Carla, it is so nice to read about the beautiful things that you and your daughter say to each other.  You obvioulsy have a very deep tender heart and I am sure that she wants to grow up to be just like you. ((((hugs))))
   
  Merlin!!!!! Congratulations!!!!! Wow, that is really big news!  I am really happy for you and I am sure you will do just great as a mom. . .most of it comes pretty naturally :-))

• polarheart said on Feb 06, 2008....

  FutureG, I like that you had that talk with your Dad.  My husband started saying it to his parents and eventually they said it back to him.  I remember visiting them and I would always give his mom and kiss and a hug before she could move LOL.  I think they were just brought up so differently and thus did not know how to show affection to their kids.  Thanks for the comment!
   
  Soleme, thank you for your words of encouragement.  It is wonderful to hear of others doing the same as me :-)  Mothers must be love addicts!
   
  Quietone, aawww that's great to hear that your grandsons say "I love you grammy". . .that just melts my heart :-))  And I know you are a very lovable grammy - - - one of the best!
   
  Cindy, good to hear that I'm not the only mom who dotes on her son!!  Its so nice to hear that you call him at school :-)  I realised that I probably do it about 10 times a day on a nursery school day and a whole lot more when he is at home!

• pickersplock said on Feb 06, 2008....

  You can never get too much love!

• sheltercrow said on Feb 07, 2008....

  Post script: Never under any circumstances tell your kids or grandkids that you love them. It will give the little shits an unfair advantage and they will use that power to blackmail you.
  
  Just kidding.
  
  The opposite to the above is the wiser choice.
  
  Always tell your kids or grandkids that you love them. It will give the little shits a fair advantage and they will use that power to love you back.
  
  

• Pontius_Pilate said on Feb 07, 2008....

  Ok, honestly, I do not remember jack, nor shiz of my 'rents saying that sort of thing until I was in my late teens/early 20s.
  I say it all the time to mine, even still to this day, and my oldest is turning 17 this year!!
  So, IMO, nah, no reason to worry about it. It's from the heart and that is something they will come to understand and acknowledge later on.
  
  Oh, and for the record, yes, my motherly unit, is fracking nuts
  

• queenparanoia said on Feb 07, 2008....

  you know growing up my parents are not like that... i wish they could be like that... i have never once heard that they love me... but i know that they do... so youre not overdoing it polarkins... =)

• truthsayer said on Feb 07, 2008....

  Tell and show him.  Tell and show him some more.  You cannot tell your son that you love him,  or show your son that you love him too much.  It's just not possible.
   
  Love ya polar & fearing!  I'm going to run a test blog.  Sort of bait in a trap for that SC blog eating monster I seem to attract. 
   
  I read your other blog too polar.  I saw some men "shared" on it.  Feel blessed by it, and remember...can't say it or show it too much!
   
  Truthsayer : )

• fearing said on Feb 07, 2008....

  Polar - I don't know about being the best mom in the world but I will certainly take it as a compliment coming from you!  I could learn a few things from you.  And yes, it is from that book.  You should read it.  I would bet you are 'words' too......maybe 'gifts'.  Hmmmmm.  Maybe both?  Read it and tell me what you are and get Mr. Polar to see what he is. 
  
  @ Truth - love ya too!  Bought time you came back!  Missed you.
  

• silverwhisper said on Feb 07, 2008....

  you know, polar, "normal" is, in the words of another of my online haunts, just a setting on the washing machine.
  
  it seems to be working for you. isn't that what matters most?
  
  ed

• polarheart said on Feb 09, 2008....

  Pickers, yes I too believe that there is not bottom our love wells, so they can never be over full
  :-)
   
  Shelter, too funny you are!  Yes I too believe that it will give them the power to love us back and also love others :-)
   
  Pontius, thanks for commenting, I really appreciate it.  I think its great that you show your teenage girl such love and affection. . .she will always treasure it!
   
  Queenie, thank you sweet angel!  That is the kind of answer I was looking for.  Where kids have grown up without the "I love yous" and hugs and kisses and wish that it were different.  Just know that you can say "I love you" to them, just start and dont stop and you will see that they will eventually start to do it too.  Did you read Ed's comment on my other blog relating to this?  If not please do.  And just for the record "I love you" (((((big hug))))).
   
  Truth, so nice to see your name around again :-))))  Thanks for your encouragement!
   
  Fearingbabes, NO, I am the novice here with regards to parenting!!  So, let me be the student
  :-))  I really do need to get my hands on that book. . .oh, but to make the time and effort!
   
  Ed, I really like what you said about the setting on the washing machine.  I dont actually like to be "normal" and by reading all these comments I have come to terms with myself better and feel reassured that how Mr Polar and I are raising Tigger is good and that he is a very happy child; which of course speaks volumes! :-) 

• queenparanoia said on Feb 09, 2008....

  =)

• silverwhisper said on Feb 09, 2008....

  glad you liked it! :>
  
  ed

• Shameus_O'Patrick said on Feb 12, 2008....

  From what you described, you sound normal. It's more about you treat Tiger that will let him know how you feel. It's true that kids who's parent/s over does it with being their "friend" turn out to be ass holes, but that's to be expected because they didn't learn discipline from their friend so they have no respect.
  It's a parent's job to teach their kid right and wrong and respect for others is part of that. As long as you don't put his accomplishment down or belittle the little guy; give him praise when he deserves it and correct his behavior when he needs it. He'll know you love him when he's old enough to realize what love is.
  Kid learn from example a lot of times. And sometime they realize their parent's all knowing and have flaws too. It's then they start to compare what you did for him to be a well adjusted person and how acted toward him and others and what you claim you were and are.
  Don't you remember how it was with you?
  Don't worry. Be Happy. LMAO at how funny I can be. Shameus O.

• MsImmortality said on Feb 17, 2008....

  No, I don't think you can spoil them with love.  I hug and kiss and tell my children everyday I love them, and I'm proud of them.  Even before our ugly divorce, I did this.  I wonder if it is because of my own chilhood where the hugs, kisses and praise were few and far between. 

  I want them to know they are safe and loved.  I've wondered too at times if I'm not going overboard lol.  I wonder if they will expect this daily with their spouse one day, and when they don't get it, if they will feel devestated??  I worry about things like that. 

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