It was only ever a fantasy. That's all I ever was to him. He's got a new girl now, one that's good enough for the world to know about. One who's worth a photo on his myspace. One that he calls "a keeper." I was never a keeper. I was never good enough for him. I never am. Never good enough for anyone. I find a guy I like, maybe one that I love, and I do everything I can to make him happy, but it's never enough. I'm just not good enough. They always leave me for someone else. Always. So here I am, alone again and feeling sorry for myself. The kids, the feelings, the desire he had for me, it was only ever a fantasy. It was never going to be anything more for him. It was all just lies. I don't understand what I did wrong or why I'm not good enough and she is. People tell me that I'll get over it, that there's someone else out there for me, that he's not worth it, that someday I'll meet my dream guy. It's all just bullshit to try to make me feel better. And as for the dream guy, I used to have standards. I used to have this specific ideal of what he would be like. But every time my heart breaks, some of it is lost, and eventually the criteria will be reduced to "male" and nothing else. Just someone who wants to be with me, no matter who it is or what he's like. Someone who wants me for more than just fucking. I'm tired of it all. I'm tired of looking and hoping and dreaming. Reduced to a life alone because I'm just not good enough for any guy. I'm just a gullible, useless nothing of a woman. Fuck.