...when you realize that there's hope.
I bring up this notion of hope because something finally happened that I've waited five years for.
Five years ago, the GAP company bought up two groups of three shops near the street where I live and converted them into a GAP store and a hideous thing called a "Baby GAP" store. As in a store marketing miniature versions of the already tight, uncomfortable "clothes" to children under 6 years old.
Last week, the "Baby GAP" finally imploded and went out of business.
About damn time.
After it had opened, I remember being at one of my aunt's houses over the holidays--she had two daughters, "Janet", 8 years, and "Annelise," who was 9 months old. Names have been changed to protect my family.
One of my asshat in-laws thought it would be "so adorable" if he purchased a pair of "skinny leg" GAP jeans... for Annelise. Which are basically shrunken versions of regular "skinny leg" jeans, which are apparently not meant to be worn for longer than 2 hours at most. You'd have been lucky to have fit those things on a Barbie doll.
And my aunt, not wanting to hurt the in-law's feelings, did her best to shoehorn poor Annelise into those jeans. It was the most painful, damn-near disgusting thing I've witnessed in my life so far. Annelise was not happy to be wearing the latest in fashionable torture devices, as evidenced by her screaming, so it was a good thing her mother took them off after a 5-minute trial.
And what did Janet do? She pointed, laughed and teased her baby sister about being "too fat" for the jeans.
It was about then that my aunt reddened and shot back, "Can you fit these jeans, Janet?"
Janet looked at the little doll jeans, and said, "No, Mama."
"Then don't hold other people to standards that you can't fit, yourself."
Janet ran crying to her room and didn't come out until we had to leave. The in-law either realized (or was told in private) that he'd committed a serious faux pas, which soured the celebratory mood and the rest of the evening was understandably tense. I remember my grandmother shooting him a dirty look and muttering that he was a "dumb schmuck."
At least that "Baby GAP" is out of business, so there will be no more of those kinds of sick, twisted gifts in my neighborhood...
