My in-laws are in town, and my MIL's brother happens to live here. When I first met him, he was a loud, boorish sort of guy in his late 40s. I can't say I thought much of him.
Boy, has he changed in the last six months! He's fighting depression, but he has become softspoken and thoughtful, and the genteel side that was only flashes before is now a major facet of any dealings with him. I can actually stand this guy, and I think he has a good chance of climbing out of his depression by the time the '08 holidays roll around. :)
My intuition says that while I can generally trust him, he's feeling me out for something I don't yet understand. I feel bad for it, but I'm a little on guard.
We all went to the park this afternoon. Little one loved it even more than she usually does, because there were at least six other kids there between the ages of 18 months and five years. She happily clambered over the bright equipment with MIL or FIL keeping a careful eye on her, while I sat on the wood chip ground material with "Ron" (MIL's brother - not his real name) and linebacker baby.
Ron talked and talked, and I was surprised at the coherence and self-awareness of most of his thinking. He wasn't like that before, and I'm not sure what changed. I offered my thoughts when asked, but mostly just listened to this guy spill his guts. People do that with me, and I don't mind.
Linebacker baby was even pretty tolerant - he let Ron hold him a few times, and little one likes this new, gentle version of him quite a lot, so Ron was presented with several wood chips and hugs throughout our time there.
When she took his hand and led him to the equipment, it was clear as day how much good being around my kids was doing for him. He smiled and laughed and conversed, and it didn't have that fakey too-bright sheen that a lot of people's happy masks have. He was really happy, if only for a few hours.
We stopped at a restaurant not far from my apartment on the way home, and little one scarfed down spaghetti like it was the last meal on the last day ever. I love the way her cute little sauce-splattered face looks when she grins.
At some point, the conversation turned to me and there was a lot of discussion about my relative awesomeness, much to my extreme embarrassment. "You're quite a woman" (Ron) and mom-related compliments (MIL) started flying, and I wanted to hide. I don't handle that sort of thing very well, and I happen to think it shows rather overinflated opinions of who I am.
Linebacker baby saved me by thoughtfully swiping at my straw, knocking my almost full glass over. Most of the contents splashed my lap, and an entire leg of my jeans quickly got wet and cold. At least we had other things to talk about then! :-p
My calzone was good, and dessert was better - and I'm not watching it today. Tomorrow is the family gathering with my gps and brother (and in-laws, and maybe my dad). It's also a good friend's birthday.
It's looking like a very good weekend. :)
the_infernal_optimist posted on Feb 02, 2008
| views: 131
Comments
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Fallyn said on Feb 02, 2008....
it sure sounds nice. *grin* -
MissMimi said on Feb 02, 2008....
<grinning> Your relative awesomeness? I tend to agree with that. I find you to be awesome. ;) -
Mr_Box said on Feb 02, 2008....
It sounds as if you had a wonderful Saturday. The park is always fun.
I like the swings. You never get too old for swings. Except for those baby swings with the little leg holes. Then it becomes difficult to fit into them once you're grown up....
It embarrasses you when people talk about your relative awesomeness? Then I guess I won't say that I think you're pretty awesome too. Because if I said that, you might hide from me ;-)
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queenparanoia said on Feb 03, 2008....
that sounds nice... =) -
evil_twin said on Feb 03, 2008....
I'm so glad you guys had a fun day at the park :-) Obviously Ron sensed that you were a good listener if he spilled his heart out to you. I'm sure you made him feel better. And I have to agree about the awesomeness factor too :-) But I get embarrassed too if people say nice stuff about me like that too. I never feel like I deserve it. But you do!
-evil_twin LA
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travelr712 said on Feb 03, 2008....
this may be an inappropriate question infernal, and i hope it's not, but did ron have a drug or alcohol addiction before? the comparisons you make sound allot like someone who is just conquering that sort of addiction. just curious. but i'm glad you've had such a good weekend. you deserve it! :-) -
silverwhisper said on Feb 04, 2008....
i agree, that does sound like a good day. i'm kinda curious about "ron", but if you wanted to say, i figure you would have already.
you know, you actually are a pretty nifty lady, infernal. :>
ed -
the_infernal_optimist said on Feb 04, 2008....
Fallyn: It was. :)
Mimi: Oh, stop that! Go look in the mirror if you want to see an awesome lady. ;-)
Jack: I love swings, too, and little one is discovering how neat they are - she was afraid of even the baby ones for a long time.
I won't hide, but thbpppt!
queen: If I could have teleported you there, that would have made it even more fun. I bet little one would have loved another person to chase her around!
Kyle: You'd deserve it every bit as much as (more than) I would, so shh. :-p It was such a great day. :) Even with Coke in my lap at supper.
trav: He could have had something like that going on, and I wouldn't have known (well, if it was alcohol I would've, since I'm related to a fair number of former or current alcoholics :-p) -- we didn't spend much time with him when it could be avoided. He's making positive steps now, no matter what was in the past.
ed: Well, since I wrote that, I've learned a couple of things. He thinks it would be a good idea if we all moved into a huge (four bedroom?) apartment together. Um...no. Just...no. The second thing is just a suspicion, but suffice it to say that it makes me extremely uncomfortable, and living together completely out of the question.
And thanks. I'm not sure I agree, but thank you. :)
~Infernal
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silverwhisper said on Feb 04, 2008....
i was afraid that his desire to have conversation might somehow have that kind of character, to be honest...
ed -
the_infernal_optimist said on Feb 04, 2008....
Can I carry a mini-ed on my shoulder to confirm things like that from now on? ;-)
~Infernal
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silverwhisper said on Feb 05, 2008....
that depends, is he also played by vern troyner? :>
ed -
the_infernal_optimist said on Feb 05, 2008....
[giggles]
Comment on "Well, that was interesting"
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