*insert severe sad face here*

Okay, so apparently, according to the Artistic Director of the Missouri Contemporary Ballet, my main workplace, I am FAT.

Yep- read it and weep.  My 5'4" 124 lb ass is too big for the rehearsal space of the Missouri Contemporary Ballet.  Look out!  I might blind you with my fat ass!  Oooh nooo!  Run!!!  It's FatZilla!!

Stupid Mutherfuckers...

So, I'm in rehearsal last week, and we just sat down to have our lunch break *ironically enough* and Karen beckons me to her office.  *bad sign number one.*  A director will NEVER want to speak to you privately unless if it's REALLY BAD or REALLY GOOD.  Usually, it's not very good, when she wants to speak to you in private.  So, she closes the door behind me, and asks me to sit down.  *bad sign number two.*  Oh shit, I have to sit down for this?  Oh fuck me.  I guess my ass is too heavy to maintain a standing position in her presence.  I have to sit down over it to hide it's ginormous colossal blinding proportions in front of her.  Damn it.  She sits on the chair in front of me - and looks me in the eye.  Her firey red hair stared me down.  What was going on in that head of hers?  What was going on?  I was so nervous.  She intently stared at me, and said: 
"Well, we're a little concerned about your weight." 
Well - which way?  Am I too fat?  Too skinny? **sigh - I wish it was too skinny.  That would make me feel a little bit better.  Damn, dance is fucking up my head... agh.  I blame my mom too.  She's fucked up in the head in that respect.  I know it.  I just do.** 
"Now, we know that your diet is kindof wierd..."
**Oh... you mean, VEGAN?  Oh yeah... that's wierd alright.  it's not my fault that I'm vegan and allergic to soy and just full of all sorts of fucked up digestive issues like jew stomach, acid reflux, and allergies up the ass.  damn it. so... Oops, I apologize for being myself.**
"But we've just noticed that you've gained some weight.  I'm seeing it in your butt and your thighs.  I'm guessing it's too many carbs, and probably at night.  So, I'd say try to balance them out with some protien.  You've got free Pilates, and there's no excuse to not take that.  Go ahead and get on one of those excersize balls that we've got back there and do some ab work.  You've got enough time - two weeks.  It'll come down fast. "
**fast?  FROM WHERE?  My ass and thighs, apparently.  Well, baste me up and pop me in the oven, I think there's some Lily Drumsticks coming your way for dinner - since I won't be having any tonight.  My ass is too big.  *fuck* **

So... I went and took pilates that weekend for once, and only to find out that they're cancelling saturday classes.  Now, I have to figure out when I have time to take Pilates other than my bedroom floor.  Unfortunately for me, I don't have a pilates reformer, so I can't do all the fancy moves and excersizes on my own.  *drats.*  I teach every weekday except for friday until around 7pm on average, so when will I get to go take pilates?  Maybe I'll go to the Key Largo Gym and work out with my connections to get in for $free$ hehe.  I just need to work out more.  I need more muscle tone anyways.

I didn't eat much for a couple days - but then I got starved, at a fuck ton for a day or so, got really constipated, but now I feel better, and am just looking at working out and eating different.  *healther* as they would say.  Just eating lower calorie foods like cereal or oatmeal instead of bagels for breakfast, no rice milk in my coffee, stuff like that... less bread.  Where's the protien coming in?  Well, since I'm in the middle of moving, and I don't have any money and i'm a vegan who is allergic to soy - that makes it a bit difficult.  No, I won't start eating animals just for her.  FUCK THAT.  No fucking way!  I'll do it my own way, thank you.

My body hurts.  *sigh*

No - I don't think I'm fat.  I know i'm not.  But according to the dance world, I have a fat ass.  Cool. 

I'm going to go eat some more vegan cheeseless pizza now. 

*insert middle finger here.*