So after a month of "must -erbating" (I must do this, I must do that), I finally went back to the gym yesterday.
Last week I hit rock bottom with my weight - I have never been this heavy in my life and had no idea how much I had gained until I went to the doctor and he put me on the scale. For the past 9 months I pretty much have lived in sweat pants - big mistake. Sweats will let you get as heavy as you want to without realizing it. And all the rest of my clothes had stretched out to fit me so I didn't even notice it. Amazing, ain't it?
I just stood there and cried - I know, a very immature reaction, but I wasn't crying because I was so heavy, but because I was so pissed off at myself for letting it get so bad. Now, many people that I have spoken to since stepping on that scale have said: "give yourself a break, you went through a major depression, this is bound to happen." So I am giving myself a break, not beating myself up too much. I know that as long as I take the first step, it will begin to come off.
And I took that step. . . I got back to the gym yesterday for the first time in over a year.
OMG - I forgot about the soreness!! I forgot that my muscles actually existed underneath the fat! This morning when I woke up, I couldn't move my arms, my calves had tightened up, and my pectoral muscles hurt so much I could barely move for about an hour. And OMG did I not want to go back today. But you will be happy to know, I did.
When I was at my fittest (45 lbs less ago), I was at the gym 6 days per week with a split body workout - weights on 2 consecutive days plus cardio, then just a cardio day, then 2 more consecutive weight and cardio days, then a cardio day and a day off. No I wasn't body builder girl - while that's a look some others may like - I am not too partial to it for myself. I was really trying to emulate the fitness/figure competitors, not the Ms. Olympia's.
Today was day two.... and although my my entire body just aches, I went back.... I almost didn't make it back today - I wanted to come up with every excuse in the book, but I couldn't. So I got my fat butt up and went back to the gym where I worked out again.
"Oh you'll feel much better when you go!"; "You'll have so much more energy!"; "It's a good pain." so say others -
RIGHT!!!... all I want to do is get into a hot tub, take some ibuprofen and go to sleep and it's only 4:47 in the afternoon.
