I guess my favorite martial arts instructor is Tony Blauer. He's a Canadian guy who trains SWAT teams, cops, Navy Seals, and regular people. He's a big friggin deal in the international martial arts world.

He doesn't make a big fuss out of teaching you how to throw a side kick or something. He's not all that concerned with what technique you use. He figures you must have picked up a few moves somewhere. He is much more concerned that you fight back, and much less concerned with how you fight back.

He'd rather see a pissed off woman go after somebody with her nails and teeth than see some black belt trying to employ some cute technique.

He focuses on the emotional aspects of fighting. That is the most important. Second is the mental game, and third is the physical technique. Your local karate school or TKD school is probably just focusing on the physical technique.

The emotional game goes something like this. Don't have an ego. Don't think about winning or losing. Don't be afraid to lose. Don't be afraid. Be fucking pissed off. The proper attitude for a fight is "Who the fuck are you to do that to me, you dead piece of shit!"

You see some really tough looking guy with scars all over his face, you don't think he looks so big and bad. Instead, you think he's a pussy cause he has scars all over his face, somebody got him, right?

If you don't have your emotional game down, you are going to lose. It's the single most important thing in a fight. You need to be pissed off and fearless. You can't be pissed off and afraid at the same time. If you are, you aren't pissed off enough.

Okay, that's it for the emotional game. Now for the mental.

Is there a way out of this without violence? Can I just buy this idiot a drink and tell him how tough and scary he is? Is there an escape route? Is there some help, in some direction? Can I extricate myself from this mess without getting hurt?

Is he about to hit me? Is he getting louder and louder? Is he raising the stakes, pushing me? Have we reached the point where I'm sure he's about to attack? Does my intuition tell me that he's about to strike? If so, distract him and then deck him. Hit first and end the fight within ten seconds.

Mental distraction technique. Ask him what time it is. As soon as you see him reacting to your question, kick him in the balls with all your might. He won't block it. He's puzzled over why you asked him what time it is. Fuck him up right now. Kill the silly bastard.

Jump on your advantage. Beat the living shit out of him non-stop. Then get the hell out of there. The whole fight should take ten seconds or so. If you do it right, he didn't even get to throw a punch. You cold cocked him before he took his first shot, and you left him crying for his mommy.

But if you don't have that chance, if he attacked you first, you have to cut right to part three, the techniques. There is only one technique that Tony Blauer pushes. He calls it the Spear.

That's not a very descriptive term, but it sounds nice and macho. A more descriptive term would be a two forearm shove. He's the only martial artist I know of who advocates this move, and he treats it like it is the most important thing, the most effective thing, the most crucial thing you can do.

He is assuming that someone is attacking your face or head. That's the way it will generally go. The guy may be coming at you with a fist, a stick or a knife, but it's aimed at your head.

(If it is a knife fighter and he's striking underhand at your body, not overhand at your face, good luck, sweetheart, you're halfway to heaven. Better get a hold of that knife hand and bite it.)

In a head attack your initial reaction is going to be to flinch. It is instinctive. Your hands will shoot upwards, as reflexively as a blink. Your head will back up.

So Tony takes you from that starting position, your hands up, flinching. He teaches you what to do from there. Your arms are roughly parallel to each other. Bend your elbows beyond 90 degrees. Then shove both your forearms forward in unison at the opponent. That's the spear.

If he's coming with a punch to the face, you have just blocked it. If he's coming with a knife, you have just blocked that too, and your forearm is getting cut instead of your face. You didn't take time to think what to do. You just flinched and instantly threw out those forearms at an angle beyond 90 degrees, with your weight behind it.

If your elbows are bent less than 90 degrees your arms will give and collapse in on themselves. That's why you go beyond 90 degrees.

You would be surprised how powerful that move is. You can shove a big man backwards a few steps with it. You have just taken over the fight. Now his head is confusedly screaming "Holy shit!" and he's backing up to regain his balance. He thought you were a patsy, and now he's getting his ass kicked. Now he's on the defensive and off balance.

His hands reflexively come up in response to your spear, which is a great time to kick him in the balls. It's your turn to go ape on him and finish the fight by going mad for ten seconds. Rip the eyes, elbow the face, head butt his face, knee him in the balls, all those goodies. Stop when he whimpers for his mommy, and get the hell out of there.

If a weapon is involved, focus on it, take it, bite the hand holding it, and when you get it, use it on him.

Tony's a nice guy, but he gets vicious fast. He wants you to win. He doesn't believe in MMA because there are rules, that's not a fight.