Two men talking in the bookies: "What's wrong Charlie? You don't look so good this morning."
"It's the bloody wife: she's keeping me awake at night dreaming of this driving test she's taking next week. Every so often she grabs hold of my willie and moves it around like a gear stick. It's no joke."
"I've got an idea Charlie. Next time she starts, turn her over and stick it up her backside - maybe that will stop her."
The next night, Charlie does as his mate suggests, turns her over and gives her one up the backside.
"£5 of 4-Star, please." she says.