I don't understand how people can have 15 - 20 friends.  Hell, I don't understand how people can have 10.  It's all very draining if you ask me.

Okay, here is the deal.  Around September of last year I realised that I didn't really have any friends.  Anytime I wanted to go somewhere or do something, there was only the same two people to call up and those people never wanted to go anywhere.  So I started asking myself why don't I have any friends.  I am not a bad person.  Yes, I am a little funny-acting from time to time, but for the most part I am pretty cool to be around.  That's when I realised that the reason I didn't have friends is because I never wanted to deal with people.  I don't call people, I always pass on opportunities to go out and do things, and I am not very tolerant of certain situations (ie:  drama).  So I decided to change that.  I called up some friends that I hadn't talked to in a while and re-united, and I became open to new people in my life.  I call people to check on them and see how they are doing even though I don't always feel like it, and tired as I may be, I find time to spend with all of them.  Which in my opinion is no easy task.  So now I find myself wondering how is it that people can have time for work, family (if they have one), friends, and time for themselves.  I have really only been doing it for about a month, but I am exhausted.  I feel like my life is moving too fast for me to control any of it and everything is starting to feel like a blur.  I feel like I never sleep, I feel like I never see my son, I feel like I am never home.  Even when I am at work I feel like I am only putting in maybe 2 hours a day.  I am being pulled in so many directions that I am not even moving.  So I am reconsidering this whole having friends thing.  At least until I figure out how to fit everything and everyone into my life without going crazy.