I’m thinking about taking a separate vacation from my husband. Vacations don’t really interest him. So, I’m thinking about doing something on my own even if it’s just two or three nights in a hotel in a nearby town. My life is such a boring routine that I can hardly stand it anymore.
My husband and I have gone on two real vacations in the eight years we have been married. We had a good time, but I can’t pry him off of the farm or away from his dad to go very far or do much with me. He has this set limit in his head that he only wants a vacation every five years. That would be fine if we were saving to go somewhere fun, but we’re not. Anywhere we go is always within driving distance.
As recently as this week, I asked him if I was doing anything to drive him away from me. He said no and that he loved spending time with me. It’s a mixed message though because his actions don’t match his words. I get scraps of his time. What time we do have together is a repeat of what we did the day before.
So, I have come up with the idea of a separate vacation. I have been gone before when my dad needed some surgery. He didn’t miss me much because I left behind clean clothes and prepared meals. Maybe this time I won’t do that. Let him get the full effect of what life might be like without me. I’m still not sure that would phase him.
For my vacation, I may take in a couple movies and hang out all day in a bookstore. Maybe I’ll write some poetry. I’m not crazy about the alone part. I wish he would want to “waste” a couple of days with me. But, that’s not going to happen.
CreativeWoman posted on Aug 04, 2006
| views: 434
Comments
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MadameSosostris said on Aug 04, 2006....
Do not delay, oh unhappy creative one! Make your plans at once. But yourself a sequined dancing gown with 3 inch silver stiletto heels and take a cruise to an exotic land. I see gret fortune in this, and a fortuitous return of your eager, playfel self. -
CreativeWoman said on Aug 04, 2006....
A cruise is a good idea, but I'm thinking more of a nice hotel that will pamper me a bit. I like the idea of room service and maybe a few naughty movies for fun. -
MadameSosostris said on Aug 04, 2006....
Oh, you are VERY bad, but there is good fortune, there, too! -
Zayda said on Aug 04, 2006....
I wonder if there is something about the 8 year mark (it's close to the 7 year itch I suppose). I can relate to how you feel Creative. I have been married for 8 years and with my husband 9 years. But, lately, we are "together alone" and when we are not "together alone" I get scraps of his time. It's so infernally frustrating at times. -
CreativeWoman said on Aug 04, 2006....
Zayda, It is frustrating...and heartbreaking. -
Zayda said on Aug 04, 2006....
Yes, it is heartbreaking. I am at my wits end over this some days. I'm not sure what happened; we used to spend our time together actually together. -
CreativeWoman said on Aug 04, 2006....
I understand, Zayda. But in my case, we only spent time together if I went WITH him while he WORKED on the farm. When my allergies wouldn't let me do it anymore, we began drifting because it's not in him to make the effort. I hope you find your way back to your togetherness. -
pinkjellybeans said on Aug 08, 2006....
I think a separate vacation is a fantastic idea. My husband's parents do this as she likes to lounge and sunbathe while he would prefer to be hiking or something more active. I also plan to do this if my husband and I manage to sort through our issues and get back together. In my opinion, a marriage - or any other relationship - shouldn't be about missing out or unreasonable sacrifice. If you want to go holidaying, then why not? And the added benefit will be that your husband WILL miss you, especially if he is made to feel the full affects of being without you. PinkJellyBeans -
CreativeWoman said on Aug 08, 2006....
The thing is that I don't think my husband would truly miss me that much. He would just go to his mom for his basic needs other than sex. -
mrslonely said on Mar 03, 2007....
CW-After 20 years of marriage I feel more lonely whenthe Husband is around, I'm really quite happy and content with my own company. I have learned to reach out to other people friends and family and do things with them. My sister came into town and we went to a movie, a comedy. We laughed our heads off, it was great. The next movie I went to with the H, another comedy and I was laughing away. He just sat there like a lump, I had the worst time. Join some clubs, volunteer that's what I'm doing and believe me it makes you feel alot better about yourself, don't sit and stew.Pinkjellybeans-what a great name! Me give me the Black jelly beans yummmmmmmy. -
CreativeWoman said on Mar 03, 2007....
mrslonely,
I guess that I am stubborn enough to believe that if I am go to live a separate life from his, then I just want to live separately. People give me that advice all the time ... that I should just do my own thing. It won't work for me, but I am very glad that it does for you.
CW
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