The hardest thing about not believing in God, or not knowing if you believe in God, is not having hope for the afterlife.  I do not claim to be an atheist, nor to I claim to be a believer--most days I'm just plain confused, but on "atheist days," I find myself wondering what it's all for.  Faith gives people purpose--whether or not it's real is irrelevant, because what it does for people in life is incredible in itself.  Having faith in something bigger than yourself and believing that there is something after death gives you a reason to wake up every day and get through the tough shit.  What makes living life righteously worth it if you don't believe in heaven and hell, karma, what have you?  I tell myself that if I do something good in my lifetime that it'll be enough immortality for me, and that it'll make all the struggles of my life worthwhile if I can just leave the world a better place for generations to come, but let me tell you, that isn't always easy.  Sometimes I think that we're just so fucked to begin with that whatever I can do couldn't possibly save us, so why should I bother?  Sometimes I think that if there is a God that I want no part of it, because God must be one cruel s.o.b., or at least have some twisted fucking sense of humor.  Some days, it's really hard to get out of bed and face the day.

Today is one of those days.