I know a few people were interested to know the reactions of our parents to our crazy news. Well, we stopped by my parents house last night and told them. It was interesting. It didn't go as bad as I feared, but they were a little disappointed. That was expected though.
But basically, I hardly ever just stop by their house unannounced. And the last time we just showed up together on their doorstep we'd just gotten engaged. It took them about five seconds to figure that one out. But this time, their mind went to a totally different place.
My dad answered the door and my mom was making dinner. And when I told him to go get her because I had something to tell them, he immediately assumed Natalie was pregnant. Figures. I guess I can understand that. It's easy to forget all about the marriage part coming first because my parents are so anxious for this to happen.
But once I told my dad he was wrong, he seemed disappointed. I guess he better get used to that feeling because he was about to be disappointed again. When my mom finally showed her face, she also assumed we were there to tell her about a pregnancy. She started getting excited before I could even say anything.
When we took our cleverly concealed hands out of our pockets and showed them our wedding rings and told them we were married, they both just stared at us for a minute. Then my dad started laughing, while my mom just kept asking us, "what do you mean you're married?"
It took a few minutes, and my mom asked fifty thousand questions before she started crying. And I wasn't sure if she was pissed and ready to slap me or if she was happy. It was a little of both. She smacked my arm and asked me how I could do this to her. But before I could say anything to that, she hugged me and said she knew I was insane. This wasn't a surprise. But how could I do this without her?
My dad however, just stood there smirking and not saying a word. So I asked him if he'd gone spontaneously mute and he said no. He knew I was going to do this. He had a feeling. He knew that we were not into the wedding because we both had this tendency to sigh a lot and roll our eyes and change the subject whenever someone asked. He's right. That was our reaction a lot of the time.
Which makes me so glad we didn't go through with it like that. Neither one of us would have been happy. And the more we think about it now, the more we realized how much we hated the idea of all the fancy stuff and planning and worrying about centerpieces and food we probably would be too nervous to eat.
What we did was so much better for us. Most people would hate what we did, but that's okay. We're not most people. And both of my parents respected that, even if they were a little upset. My dad is pretty easy going and always joking a lot, so he said he didn't care that much because now he didn't need to wear a suit and tie. He hates those things just as much as I do. And my mom was relieved that her parents didn't have to drive up and stay with them either, as planned.
So everyone wins, really. At least in my family. After the initial shock, they were really happy for us. But Natalie's parents still don't know. She told her sister, and we both assume that she'll blab the news to her parents. Which of course made me ask why Natalie would tell her first then. But I guess it was cleverly planned that way to avoid her having to do the dirty work herself, should her sister broadcast this information.
As far as I know, she must have kept her mouth shut, because we never got any calls last night. We'll see what happens tonight. If they don't find out, Natalie said she'll tell them herself. We think her dad will be alright, but we all know her mom is going to freak out. Ah well. You can't please everyone. At least we pleased ourselves this time, right?
evil_twin posted on Jan 21, 2008
| views: 364
Comments
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D6fer said on Jan 21, 2008....
lol....nice move on her part to tell her sis 1st....you may need that time buffer before mom in law sees you! ;) -
Lucytorial said on Jan 21, 2008....
Your dad sounds cool! well to say the least most parents get selfish with weddings because they spend so many years trying to get rid of us when they finally have the chance to show off about well the disappointment comes up when they can't.
All in all I'd say that was very successful! well done, and I hope Natalie's mom doesn't faint!
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the_infernal_optimist said on Jan 21, 2008....
[crossables crossed for a mild and happy reaction from both of Nat's parents]
I'm so glad you did it this way. :) It just fits, and that's worth so much more than escaping a few minutes of parental "Whaaaat?" when the news hit.
~Infernal
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Mr_Box said on Jan 21, 2008....
I already knew this story because I talked to you. And also Mom and Dad called me too. They wanted to know how long I knew you were going to do this, and how could I not tell them?
They aren't used to me keeping quiet about things like this. I deserve a cookie or a medal or something for keeping this under wraps.
I'm really glad you went ahead and did it like this though. I knew they'd understand.
Good luck with Natty's mom though. Over the phone is probably best. I wouldn't want to be there in person if I were you guys!
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Lucytorial said on Jan 21, 2008....
He Mr. Box are you guys related???? -
quietone said on Jan 21, 2008....
As long as it mattered to the 2 of you and you are happy that is what matters... I can kinda tell (hehe) that you 2 are very very happy...... :) glad your parents were okay with it......why not? It IS a win win.. -
Mr_Box said on Jan 21, 2008....
Yeah, Lucy. Kyle's my brother. -
Lucytorial said on Jan 21, 2008....
ohh my god! so I suppose everyone else knew this?? ohh well what can I say I'm an aussie I live upside down remember! tee he heee
Thanks kind of cool in a way...
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Mr_Box said on Jan 21, 2008....
Lucy, I think most people know, but maybe not all? But now you know!
I kind of snuck my way onto this site by Googling the words 'Kyle and Natalie' because I wanted to see what they were blogging about.
I knew the blogs existed but Kyle wouldn't tell me where. I can't stand a mystery, so here I am. I'm sneaky. But I think he forgave me.
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Battycat said on Jan 21, 2008....
It was you two getting married, so the most important thing is that you are happy. Natalies Mum will get over it, she'll probably sulk for a while though :-) -
allswell said on Jan 21, 2008....
Hey...i'm glad it went pretty good with your parents...you seem to have pretty cool parents so you probably weren't too surprised that they didn't freak out too much.Well i hope everything goes good tonight...i'm not sure who to be more worried about Natalies dad or her mom...that is their little girl... you might just get a bigger reaction from them.... her sister probably didn't say anything yet because she's scared! lol...Good Luck!alls:) -
beyondtheveil said on Jan 21, 2008....
I think its kind of normal for the moms to freak out and the dads to stand there with a stupid grin. I'd probably do the same thing. In fact, I expect my youngest son to call any week now to tell us he and his girlfriend are married.
I told you on your breaking news post my wife and I did about the same as you and Natalie. Our parents were surprised but seemed to take it well. I guess they were ok with it, we didn't ask them.
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Mamie said on Jan 21, 2008....
i think that went well! And no matter what the others reaction is, the important thing is that you did what you wanted to do. You will never regret it! mamie -
Zayda said on Jan 21, 2008....
I am so glad things went well with your parents. I suspected they would since, more than anything, your parents seem to simply want you and Natalie to be happy. They can see that you are, which is really all that matters. -
GracefullyGrowing said on Jan 21, 2008....
A cookie for Mr. Box.
Glad the rents didn't throttle you guys. =)
~Grace~
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CreativeWoman said on Jan 21, 2008....
It sounds like your parents are pretty cool. How could they be mad when they see how happy you are? :-) I hope you have similar good fortune with the in-laws. If they blow a gasket, I'll pass on to you what my mom always says. "If it makes them mad, they've got the same pants to get glad in."
I'm glad you did what's right for you.
CW
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destinydiva said on Jan 22, 2008....
I'm glad your parents took it ok, I hope natalies do too :-) xx -
skald said on Jan 22, 2008....
That is great. It is not so unusual or at least was not so unusual that this was done this way here. Congratulations again. -
wombat said on Jan 22, 2008....
I would have been a little nervous, too, but sounds like it's all going to be just fine! I smiled as soon as you mentioned your mom wondering about if there was a little one on the way...I remember that from earlier. I'm just so happy for you both! -
fearing said on Jan 22, 2008....
I understand them being disappointed in not getting to be there but it sounds like your parents know how much you two love each other. I'm happy they didn't have a fit. Can't wait to hear how it goes with Nat's parents. Hopefully they will surprise you with their reaction. If they get upset, don't worry - they'll come around. -
silverwhisper said on Jan 22, 2008....
most people would hate what we did, but that's okay. we're not most people.
bingo: you do what's right for you. that's the essence of good decision-making.
like super z, i'm not surprised by your parents' reactions. and i suspect nat's dad will respond similarly, based on what you guys have said about him. nat's mom, OTOH...oboy. guys, i've got my fingers crossed for you when she gets that news b/c i gotta be honest, i think that's gonna be unpleasant.
i'm glad that this part of it went as well as it did.
ed -
FutureGoddess said on Jan 22, 2008....
ET and NurseCutie: I am so glad your parents took it the way they did. Not that they could have done anything about it <grin>.
As for NC's mom - well, I am curious about that. Ya never know what the reaction will be - for example:
My father recently got remarried to the woman he has been dating for 4.5 years - my brother, sister and I were not invited to the wedding - they had three people there - her best friend and the couple that introduced them as well as the rabbi and his wife. Interestingly enough, I was pretty cool with the whole thing while my laid back sister was incensed. It is a major switch in reactions for the two of us.
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evil_twin said on Jan 22, 2008....
D6--Telling her sister was a sneaky move! I think it's funny.
lucy--My parents were disappointed, but at the same time, they both just wanted me to get married. So they were happy however we did it. I was relieved!
infernal--That's what we were thinking. It'd be worth the potential fallout to do it our way! I don't regret it.
Mr. Box--A cookie or a medal? :-D I see Grace offered you a cookie below. Satisfied? Thanks for not telling though. I knew you could do it!
quietone--We are happy! Really happy :-D It was worth it!
batty--Her mom will get over it. Hopefully!
alls--I knew my parents would be happy. Disappointed about the non-wedding, but happy. Her mom just needs more time to adjust I think. She'll come around!
beyond--I guess that one of the biggest shows of independence is doing something crazy like this without telling your parents. I didn't want to upset them, but I wanted to do it my way. I wonder if your son will follow in your footsteps?
mamie--No regrets!
zayda--My parents are pretty cool people. I had faith that they'd react okay too.
Grace--Me too!
CW--Our happiness was a pretty good reason for my parents to approve. The in laws will just have to get happy!
destiny--Thanks, me too!
skald--So a lot of people elope in Iceland? I think we'd fit right in there!
wombat--Thank you! Yeah, my parents assumed there was a baby on the way. Let's not rush that!
fearing--I was glad about my parents reaction too. Her parents...I'll have to write about that later. But they'll be okay hopefully!
silver--I'm very pleased with what we did. It was a good move for us. Maybe not for other people, but it's not their life right? The mother in law is going to need some time to relax I think :-P
futuregoddess--You never really know how someone will react, do you? Although her mom reacted about the way I was expecting unfortunately. She'll get over it. -
Sunshine_Mariah said on Jan 22, 2008....
I'm glad to hear this part went well. I wish you continued good luck! -
evil_twin said on Jan 22, 2008....
sunshine--Thank you so much! -
uniquely-ironic said on Jan 22, 2008....
That went better than I thought it would. They took it really well. -
husbandhater said on Jan 22, 2008....
See I told you evil that it wouldn't be that bad. And you are still glad you did it so there. Now you and Nat don't forget to share what her parents say. My bet is that after the intial tears you will see the happiness for your love in leaps and bounds. -
polarheart said on Jan 22, 2008....
Twinny & Nursie, that's great news that they are ok. . .I must confess when I initially read MrBox's post about keeping secrets I thought it was about Nat's being pregnant too :-) -
evil_twin said on Jan 22, 2008....
uniquely--It went better with my parents than I thought it would too!
HH--I will share what her parents had to say. And no matter what, I'm still glad we did it the way we did!
polar--You're too funny. You sound just like my mom! But nope, no babies just yet. Someday...
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nursecutie said on Jan 22, 2008....
You will have to write about what my parents said! I can count on my dad to be semi-ok but my mom was not happy! But that's ok. I think my mom is never happy anyway.......LOL
I thought your parents were great though! Your mom was sad she wasn't there but she was just so happy we had done it. Even without her. I love your parents :) Your dad is just funny!
We did the right thing. I still think so. And that is all that matters :) Yay!
But it is funny how they assumed I was pregnant......LOL Eeek! Not yet. But someday. And when we show up on their doorstep to tell them I think they will know! There isn't any other good news we could possibly share now......unless we win the lottery.....LOL
xxoo natalie xxoo
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queenparanoia said on Jan 23, 2008....
thank goodness they werent mad!!! i'm glad you parents are understanding... =)
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