• silverwhisper said on Jan 21, 2008....

  my god...beyond, i could very well have written that myself! although our bed isn't quite a disaster area, there's certainly no mistaking that there were people sleeping in that bed, no question!
  
  ed

• quietone said on Jan 21, 2008....

  oh, what can I say... I am also the one that creates the disaster.. yes a pilow may be found on the floor, and yes, a blanket roll.. and yes, I have been even known to as much as kick my s/o eventhough I was on HIS side..  But, I had to put up with the snoring from him and an occasional stray hand across any part of my body..now a smack in the head can sit you straight up in the middle of the nite! Now my bed is my disaster alone...and I like it.  :)

• rightwingwizard said on Jan 21, 2008....

  My companion and I sleep very well together.  He sleeps curled up at my feet and on chilly nights that in and of itself is a blessing.  Now he isn't my lover or anything, but he certainly gives me less grief than any woman would' in bed or otherwise.

  Something about 'a man's best friend'

  rww

• skald said on Jan 21, 2008....

  Oh yes, my husband used to keep me awake with snoring. It was sometimes difficult. Now after all those years I don't mind if he snores. 

• beyondtheveil said on Jan 21, 2008....

  Ed- May I assume that both of you contribute to the "mess", or is it just one?
  
  quiet- I think most things are more ok when they are your own disaster. A smack in the head, that sounds as exciting as fingers digging in the back!
  
  RWW- I have one golden retriever that sleeps many times at the foot of the bed- a better foot warmer has never been devised.
  
  skald- May I hand it to you for being the only one I've heard of that got used to snoring.
  

• Lucytorial said on Jan 21, 2008....

  tee hehee pillows on heads, end up anywhere, sheets always end up in very strange shapes, husband snores I don't I snore husband doesn't, we both travel and then again sometimes we can cup each other all night without moving, depends of the dreams, how tired we are, but I think essentially we sleep well together.
  
  As for the nudge while you are on your back thing, yep! know that one.... he rolls over every time (only to roll back again a half hour later)  *grin*
  

• kruuyai said on Jan 21, 2008....

  It's usually pretty hard for me to get to sleep if there's someone else in my bed.  Either they're snoring or messing with my freedom of movement.  I don't mind snuggling for a few minutes right after turning in, but I can't sleep if I'm not free to toss and turn.  And their body heat keeps me awake too.  The only guy I could sleep with (until he suddenly took up the habit of snoring) was my EC.  We used to get in bed together, watch a little TV (usually 3rd Rock From the Sun), say "good-bye" to each other, recite a list of cliches that had arisen out of the only four arguments we ever had, and then roll over and go to sleep on our own halves of the bed.  That was okay.  Other guys have just kept me awake... and if it was someone that was new in my life and I was really head over heels, then I couldn't sleep for all the excitement.  Sleeping with my cats was usually great except when they took up mouse hunting in the middle of the night.  And they were blanket hogs, too.  But they rarely snored.

• Mr_Box said on Jan 21, 2008....

  My wife has actually hurt me a few times in her sleep. She gets kicky legs. And I've been elbowed in the face too. She never remembers any of it.

  She also likes to sprawl out and leave me sleeping on a one inch stretch of real estate at the edge of the bed. I'm used to it though.

  Over the years I've taken to sleeping like I'm a vampire in a coffin. I have to lay there with my arms crossed over and not move unless I want to roll off the side.

  Sometimes it bugs me, but she says I talk in my sleep and wake her up, so I guess we're even. It definitely gives us something to talk about the next morning.

• CreativeWoman said on Jan 21, 2008....

  I sleep on the sofa.  We can't agree on a temperature in the bedroom.  He likes freezing cold in the winter and blazing hot in the summer.  I don't argue about it anymore.  I make myself comfortable elsewhere.  He says sometimes if he gets up to use the bathroom that he hears me crying in my sleep. I never remember it.
  
  CW
  

• beyondtheveil said on Jan 21, 2008....

  lucy- Believe me, that roll back to the same position has happened here a few times. Those are the nights she goes to the couch. Makes me feel bad.
  
  kruu- The one thing I can't do is mess with my wife's freedom of movement as is with you. That could be dangerous. Even our dog won't go near her side of the bed. She will sleep only at the foot of my side. I guess she was injured a couple of times.
  
  mrbox- I got a good laugh at your real estate at the edge of the bed. True with me also. I don't even know what its like to be on my left side and not be staring at the floor. We have many discussions in the morning too- but they always end in good laughs.
  

• beyondtheveil said on Jan 21, 2008....

  CW- I hope you have a comfortable sofa. We do, two of them, although we don't chase each other out too often. Temperature is something I forgot to put in the post- its something we agree on, thankfully. We both like the room to be cool, summer and winter. By the way, which is it you like, cool, warm, or in between? 

• evil_twin said on Jan 21, 2008....

  I think we sleep pretty good together. We both like to keep the room cold and use lots of blankets. Plus, we both like to sleep close together most of the time. My only complaint is that when she rolls over, she clutches the covers to herself and takes them all with her. She often rolls herself up like a burrito and I'm left with a tiny scrap of sheet to cover me. Which is another reason why I like to sleep to close to her because it's only way I get any blankets!
  
  -evil_twin LA
  

• CreativeWoman said on Jan 21, 2008....

  beyond,
  I like the sleeping temperature to be cool.  If it is too hot or cold, I can't sleep at all.  He won't compromise on the issue.  I do ok on the sofa.
  
  CW
  

• Zaraida said on Jan 21, 2008....

  I can't sleeping with my boyfriend anymore.  He turns over to my side and snores aiming right into my ear.  And he loves tons of blankets, but the weight is too much for me.  I've been sleeping on the recliner in the living room for 3 years, not only for those reasons but because my neck and back hurt sleeping on the bed anyway.  Last night he was begging me to sleep on the bed, so I thought I'll try it again since it's freezing in the living room.  Well, it was the same thing all over again.  He snored all night and my back and neck were killing me, so back to the recliner I went.  It was bliss on the recliner!  I'd rather freeze than go through that hell again!

• MissMimi said on Jan 21, 2008....

  My husband and I sleep in separate rooms now,  We have very incompatible sleep habits, and it was a relief.  He needs complete dark and complete silence to sleep, and I am very restless.  I also need to have a little background noise, and I usually fall asleep with the TV on.

• beyondtheveil said on Jan 21, 2008....

  ET- We are with you on the cool room. So your wife rolls and steals the covers. Almost needless to say, mine is an expert. I've learned over a period of years, and this is the truth, to unconsciously grip the covers and hold them. Its the only thing that saves me from hypothermia.
  
  zaraida- I would say you need a new bed, but if you didn't sleep there it wouldn't do much good. Three or four years ago, I had a problem that required surgery and slept on our recliner for quite some time. I found that recliner was a darn good sleeping place.
  

• Battycat said on Jan 21, 2008....

  Oh God, I can rememer, twitching, snoring and groping. I'm like kru, I get too hot with another body in the bed. I've never been good at sleeping with someone else, it's not something I have to worry about at the moment :-D

  My cats are ok, except it's getting a bit crowded now.

• the_infernal_optimist said on Jan 21, 2008....

  Reading through these comments is hilarious! :-D
  
  We do not sleep all that well together, but it's only a few hours that we share the bed anyway (he gets in late from work, and one of us gets up early with the kids every day).
  
  He snores like crazy and gets mad if I poke him. I talk, yell, and sometimes sing in my sleep, am a raging sheet and blanket thief, and could easily hog 80-95% of a king-sized bed (which we don't have, unfortunately). He steals the blanket too, though he swears he doesn't. When I steal it, I get the space-heater effect going on - it's too hot in my blanket burrito after a while! - so then I toss the covers off, onto him, in my sleep and he roasts.
  
  I like to cuddle - I don't stay still unless he's right up against me, and he won't sleep that way. And he has a vendetta against my body pillow (which I started sleeping with while pregnant with my son and just haven't given up yet). If I come in one night and the thing is just ripped to shreds, I won't be surprised.
  
  ~Infernal
  

• Zayda said on Jan 21, 2008....

  Mr. Z. and I actually sleep pretty well together. We have a king size bed, as my husband is over 6 feet tall. So, we have a good amount of room on the bed.
  
  
  But we snuggle up for a good part of the night.
  
  
  We both sleep rather quietly, most of the time, but occasionally we are both prone to snoring.
  
  
  There have been times when the hubby has sat up in the middle of the night and started talking. He generally goes right back to sleep and doesn't remember that in the morning.
  
  
  But, neither of us disturb the bed linens or comforter too much in our sleep.
  
  
  Occasionally, our son will join us in the wee hours of the morning. Then sleeping becomes a different story as he is squirmy and sometimes kicks in his sleep. I have woken up with tiny little knees in my kidneys before. That's not comfortable at all.

• bluegum said on Jan 21, 2008....

  me and wifie are perfect ,queen size bed she on left me on the right  she soft pillow me a firm one she says i snore sometimes that cant be true i have NEVER EVER HEARD MYSELF she steals blankets we are great spooners.

• beyondtheveil said on Jan 21, 2008....

  mimi- I thought there would be a lot of incompatibility, and these comments show it. My wife has to have the tv also. I bought a unit to place the tv and vcr into in the bedroom. It was slightly low, so I had to take the tv out and raise it about three inches. So long as she's happy.
  
  batty- Many people have told me about that hot body thing. They usually say "like a furnace". Hope your cats don't snore.
  
  infernal- I love it when people swear they don't commit atrocities in their sleep- how would they know? You sound similar to something I sleep with, except for the singing. You sing in your sleep? That's one thing she's never done is serenade me between her ramblings.
  
  zayda- Sounds like the two of you get some good rest. We have a king bed also, but that still doesn't help in giving me more than a scant place on the side of the bed. I remember our kids would sometimes get into bed with us. I know about the kicks and knees in the kidneys. That used to get me up to make coffee quicker than anything.
  

• beyondtheveil said on Jan 21, 2008....

  bluegum- You've never heard yourself snore? I haven't heard myself either. Perhaps our wives are saying these things about us for ulterior motives, such as make us feel bad for a new pair of shoes. 

• Lioness said on Jan 21, 2008....

  Hmm.. beyond, I sleep like a log. You'd find me exactly the way you'd see me before I slept. As to sleeping with a partner, I can't sleep with people who snore, or in a room with a background music, too cold or too warm. 

• gingersoul said on Jan 21, 2008....

  BeyBey.......for all the time of our marriage my ex and I have slept perfectly well together.....reason is...my ex turns in a mummy when he sleeps...lol...I can swear...some nights i was afraid he was dead...he never snores, or moves...he simply closes his eyes and falls asleep in a almost motionless coma....

  Our bed was a king size bed...he is tall ..so i have alway had more than enough room for me...but even if we were sleeping in smaller beds the situation was the same...plus, in the winter i can't sleep if my feet are cold...he is a human heat generator....i would just slip my feet under his legs and i was blissfully warm in a nano second....:-)

  I have always slept fine with my other men too.....only with few of them i have ben forced to toss and turn....the last one has been a sleeping disaster though....i called him Pillow man....he used to sleep sorrounded by at least ten pillows of any size....arghhhh

  For me..i am told i dont move that much...sometimes i talk in my dreams, in Italian but often in English.....i have a light sleep though...but i easily fall asleep again after waking up....i cant sleep with too much light in the room or noise from the outisde.....and i like to fall asleep with my head on that magic place between the neck and the chest of a man.....goodnite, BeyBey....:-) 

• nytquill17 said on Jan 22, 2008....

  We aren't ideal sleep partners, but we've managed to work it out so we can both stay sane.
  
  
  I like a lot of blankets too, and he only uses one.  I like to read, or talk over the day, before I sleep.  He's out like a light within minutes of pulling up the covers, unless I keep him awake.  And I can't fall asleep for at least 15-30 minutes!  So I get to burn with sleep jealousy while I listen to him snore.  I will occasionally let out a cute little snort or something in my sleep, but him, it's like a grizzly bear with a head cold, every single night!  And once in a while he talks in his sleep.  It's complete gibberish but he's VERY sincere about it!  These are things I can't really change so I've just had to get used to them. 
  
  Then, he tosses and turns, wraps himself like a burrito in the covers which I then have to play tug of war for or else use separate blankets (which I hate because I love to snuggle up!), and more than once I have been elbowed in the face!  BUT I actually have some control over this stuff.  I've discovered that if I lay down at the same time as him, and snuggle up close, he ends up being much more still through the night because he knows I'm there.  And he will actually snuggle me back in his sleep!  It's just my personal opinion, but he is the best snuggler in the world (second, perhaps, to a very lovey cat) so I consider myself pretty lucky even if I have to make a few sacrifices ;)
  
  

• beyondtheveil said on Jan 22, 2008....

  lioness- Oh, the memories of hitting the pillow and sleeping like a log all night. Enjoy it now, girl. When you get married and/or have a child, this could come to an end.
  
  ginsoul- You are another who has been lucky this way. My wife has used me as a foot warmer. That's a surprise sometimes when a couple big ice cubes snuggle in the middle of my legs. We are pillow people too. In our king bed we have six oversized pillows. Are you saying you had to dig through pillows to find 'pillow man'?
  
  nytquill- I like the 'grizzley bear with a head cold'- very apt description of some of us. Sometimes it does take some work and sacrifice, but it sounds like you two have found a middle ground.
  

• uniquely-ironic said on Jan 22, 2008....

  My ex and I slept together pretty good.  No argument about number of blankets or temperature of the room.  The only complaint I had was that we had frequent sinus infections and the odor of his breath could wake me from the deepest of sleeps.

  With Bill it's a nightmare.  We have a queen size bed, which is way too small considering he's well over 6 feet tall.  We both snore and toss in our sleep.  We fight over covers and I have started keeping a spare blanket next to the bed so that when he rolls himself in all of the blankets that I have something to sleep under.  He is constantly cold and will try to mooch body heat off of me, but when I go into "flame" mode shortly before waking up he complains that I'm too hot.  He likes background noise and can tolerate light, I like a cool room, very dark and can only tolerate the quietest of background noises.  I have woken up after having an arm land across my face or elbows in my back, and he takes 85% of the bed, leaving me to perch precariously on one edge.  It's a miracle I haven't ended up on the couch more often.

• beyondtheveil said on Jan 22, 2008....

  unique- I never thought of an extra blanket kept in reserve. There are other people who could benefit from that idea. I don't know if a king size bed would help but they are certainly nice. I have a feeling you two have some compromising to do.
  
  However, you could start with a king bed, keep the spare blanket, get a blindfold and earplugs and perhaps body armor.
  

• uniquely-ironic said on Jan 22, 2008....

  LOL, I like the body armour idea.  I've considered building a wall right down the middle of the bed to keep him on his side.  We do need a bigger bed, but it's not at the top of our shopping list yet, though it's getting closer and closer every time I have to escape to the couch for sleep.

• gingersoul said on Jan 22, 2008....

  BeyBey.....oh, i knew you were my kind of man.....foot warmer...ahhhhh.......;-)

• SikariChepiNashota said on Jan 31, 2008....

  i agree with infernal---this topic is indeed--hilarious!
  i've given up my side of the bed all to my husband for two nights now....he snores...and turns you into his pillow when you're too near!
  and most nights...and dawns...i wake up finding the bed too tight! our 8 y.o. son loves to sneak into our bed....and gives me a stiff neck upon waking...
  so, trying to solve this problem--i sometimes sleep in my sons bed (he's my youngest and pretty much feels like a baby) to keep him secured. i don't know why he's so afraid all the time-esp. when sleeping alone in his bed--and again waking up with stiff neck.
  so, i use the third bed now cause its near the night light, which i sometimes like, because i read myself to sleep..and our toy dog follows me in everywhere i sleep! (or anywhere i go for that matter)^_^
  
  
  

• beyondtheveil said on Jan 31, 2008....

  sikari- Well, that third bed sounds like a great getaway. What is better than a good book and your dog close by? I'm glad you liked the post. 

• SikariChepiNashota said on Jan 31, 2008....

  btw, that third bed is a pulled right under my son's....so, i'm still close by him ^_^
  yeah...your post was a great idea ^J^...
  

• OldChristine said on Jan 07, 2009....

  Simple answer, no.  Hubby is always crowding me out in a queen sized bed, to the point I am clinging for life at the edge.  He also is a snorer and I am a light sleeper so once I am awake I am also the type to have my mind wander to everything that could possibly go wrong with anything.

  Once I woke up to him slamming his arm onto my pillow.  He swears there was a mouse on the pillow.  Scared the bejeebers out of me!  Give me a mouse anyday if there even was one (I think he dreamed it) compared to that rude awakening.

  Every day the sheet is pulled off the bed on his side.  I have tried pinning it and strapping it and every morning I have to remake it.  Makes me CRAZY!

  Me?  I get a foot of room hanging off the edge with a cat on my legs.  Yesterday my cat was lying on his side when he wasn't home and I thought you know, how nice would it be if she could sleep on that half and me have my half.

  I've tried to convince hubby to move to the empty bedroom upstairs but he won't.  I just may have to do so.  I've slept on the sofa more than once due to all this.

  Years ago husbands and wives didn't share beds.  Why we think we have to now til death do us part is beyond me.

• beyondtheveil said on Jan 08, 2009....

  christine- Your hubby sounds an awful lot like my wife. Except for the snoring. 

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