What I want to know is this: Why is so much of the pressure of a relationship (in most cases) put on the man's shoulders? Most of the women I know fully expect their male partners to make the first move in almost every aspect of their relationship, even though the woman is oftentimes ready at the same time or earlier to have the move made. Why not do it yourself, whether it be initiating the first kiss or something more monumental? I can't speak for guys, but it seems to me that they would appreciate it if those "traditional" expectations were relaxed. (Also, isn't it great to have someone you're attracted to take it to the next level? Why shouldn't guys have that same delighted moment?) I guess I'm strange. I'm not a very forward person and I don't rush into things, but in my relationship with my husband (we've been married for 13.5 months and together for five years), I learned to put it all out there. My heart wouldn't let me do otherwise. I said "I love you" first, and asked him not to say it back until/unless he felt the same. It was a month or more before I heard it, and he choked up when he said those words. It was worth so much more because I knew it wasn't an automatic response! :) I also, dork that I am, proposed to him. That's gotten us some funny looks. But really, why NOT? I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, and that's not something you can afford to remain inactive on. (Not that marriage is the only way to have a lifetime commitment; don't misread me there.) I wanted to do something huge to show my love and trust and willingness to walk beside him for the rest of our mortal existence. I stole him away one September evening, and we walked down to a creek that ran through campus in a quiet area. We keep a journal that we hand back and forth (though we've slacked on it lately), and I casually handed it to him and requested that he turn away from me and read what I'd written. Here it is (perhaps trite, and not my best work, but it fit the moment just fine): [i]With this poem, I thee ask Please accept this gift unmasked To you I give my future, present, and past Wrapped in love, safe and secure, bound to last Beyond all eternity And I hope you've found in me A soul mate, partner, very best friend Laughter and hope that never ends All these things I've found in you And I wanted to show love sweeping and true. I think you know by now what's next From my shaking hands if not this text The one who loves you more than life Is asking to one day become your wife And wants to proclaim to the wide, wide world That she's the happiest, most blessed girl. So here I am, asking through simple poetry Honey, precious angel... *please turn around for the last line*[/i] When he turned, I was on one knee and shaking like a leaf. He was already crying, so I didn't have a chance. I squeaked out "Will you marry me?" and the floodgates just burst. He said "Yes, honey" and knelt and took me in his arms. I think we hugged and cried out of happiness (as he said "Yes" over and over, lol) for over an hour, there on the bank of the sunset-lit water. :) Anyway, I think I just wanted to tell you about that for some reason or other. So there you have it. I think more women should take initiative in their relationships.