AnaMay's tags:
This is my S.O.S.
can you believe it mr computer?. I've lived and loved in a city for 4 years and have only my dignity to show for it. No attatchments that would break me if i left. No people to call mine. Only bodies to fill the time. Sometimes sober time. Sometimes lonely times. What i thought were friendships are bullshit. So are the people. and Fakes?.... OH BOY ARE THEY! burn me at the stake for being honest... Am i too honest for you??? yes, you... (points finger)
This town is so middle america it makes me sick... I left texas for a reason ya know! kids doing coke, heroin... whatever else they may do to leave their mundane existences for even a couple minutes of bliss. Is that transitory bliss worth your life?... Not to me... Get your priveledged, ignorant, stuck up, embarrassing ass nose out of the fucking dirt.. LITERALLY... and grow the fuck up...
WHERE'S THE LOYALTY?!... i can't stand knowing that 90 percent of the people i've met in this BITCH of a city have limits on friendship... well not limits... more like "im mad... we're not friends"... FUCK YOU... fuck... ALL of you...
my bad for caring enough about each and every one of your sorry asses in your hour of need no matter HOW you pissed me off... my bad, cause that makes me the weak one...
well not today bitch. you're week, and your feeble minded... and im sad to say i've wasted my time knowing you because i'm pissed... at the world it seems
I yearn to go where the shore meets my toes and i can lay on the sand until 9 atnight without getting frost bite... where a friend is a friend....  where people are honest... where people love me. where i'm happy... WHERE I'M HAPPY...


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Comments

  • lalalalalala said on Jan 20, 2008....
    i'm sorry you are hurt and angry. do you really live in Reno?
  • gingersoul said on Jan 20, 2008....

    Ana.......i completely understand your feeling......i too left my city and guess what? i moved inTexas...from where you run away....i come from the other side of the ocean though....Italy...its a long way to my home...

    I have been in this city long enough to see her changing and growing..and yert i dont stil feel it as "my" place..

    I long as you do to come back to touch the shore with my toes..where the ocean talks to me and i have true friends...

    Sorry you are feelign in this way too...

    Talking about might help...

  • AnaMay said on Jan 20, 2008....
    lalalalalalalalalalalalala(etc). lol - yes i do live in reno
    Ginger-you UNDERSTAND?!... ohhh thank you, what you said makes me feel so much better. I've been feeling bitchy/ alone... You're right about the ocean as well... i appreciate what you had to say very much... Thank you...
  • lalalalalala said on Jan 20, 2008....
    the title of your post caught me because i used to live in reno. are you able to leave reno since you are so unhappy there?
  • AnaMay said on Jan 21, 2008....
    No... I have a job. school. house... bills... while i'd love to go home to san diego, it can't be done on my Front Desk Associate's wage... lol. How did you like reno?
  • crybabylu said on Jan 21, 2008....
    You are not just talking about 90% of the people in that city.  Most likely what you described is 90% of how most people see the world.  I personally think the percentages are a bit better than that.   Maybe 60 % even could fall in the category of that you speak of.   Especially of that age group.  i worry at times about it, but the positive I see in that is, if you can find the other % who aren't like that....then what a true blessing that is.
  • gingersoul said on Jan 21, 2008....

    Ana......some days i just want to strangle everybody...i know they have no fault biut they just irritate me so much......i see them all so comfortable in their lives.....they are born here, they like here, they want stay here, they probably wil die here...

    Like it is supposed to be when you live in your country....

    But me?  I am here only because my daughter doesn't want to move back in Italy...my job doesnt give the possibility to move at least in another area more enjoyable for me and so ..i feel i am stuck here...

    I still plan to come back though...this place is not where my body will rest forever...:-)

    I hope you can make your dreams come true....

  • crybabylu said on Jan 21, 2008....
    ginger, am I reading your comment correctly.  Where is it that you live?
  • lalalalalala said on Jan 21, 2008....
    hmm...thats funny, i too have lived in san diego. maybe you just need to make the best of what you've got going on in reno and search other places & groups for friends.  i liked reno when i lived there. of course i was in 8th and 9th grades when i lived there. i've been back a few times and i still think its ok but if i were to go back i'd definitely join a church and make friends thru that. that's just me though, i didn't want to suggest that to you because i don't know how you feel about religion.
  • AnaMay said on Jan 22, 2008....
    Crybaby- you're right. I just feel down sometimes and when i do. i pretty much flip off the world. Anyhow, it IS people everywhere. There are some you mesh with, some you dont, some you find that they're not what you need for a friendship and so it goes. my problem rests in the same TYPES of people... that i have met. I do need a change of scenery... a change of mind...
     
    Ginger- let's build a boat and sail away... lol. it would be fun... i'll bring the spirits...
     
    lalalala- Like i said to crybaby, i need a change of environment begining from the people i hang out with. they need to be on the same level... i mean that in SO many ways... i'm not better than them but i feel like we're on different plains... ya know?... bad math problem... lol
    thanks guys
  • lalalalalala said on Jan 22, 2008....
    sure, ok. good luck finding people on your plane. :)
  • AnaMay said on Jan 22, 2008....
    lol. first i have to find myself lala... Thank you for your comments though...
  • lalalalalala said on Jan 22, 2008....
    ok good luck finding your plane! :P

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I dont think knowing someone for a really long time should be any kind of deciding factor of weather you like them or not or are going to be friends with them.
I think Phil grandfathered in most of his friends, not because they were nice, or good ...
...wanting release after a breakup that I'm sort of regreting........
So, Antonio's only been away for a little over a week, and I miss him. I think I've been sending him texts pretty much every day, although he hasn't been replying me quite as frequently. Since my chat with Jason last night,...
It's just a few minutes past midnight here in Ohio, in the US. I've wiped away the tears that always seem to want to be shed at the start of the new year....

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