An Amusing story

My hobby, as anyone reading this blog will know, is sex and I have a collection of sex toys and gadgets at my disposal at home. A couple of weeks ago I got a voucher form my toy supplier, KinkyGizmo.co.uk, presumably because I'm such a good customer, so I went on to the website and did some browsing. I looked at the clothing and toys but one thing caught my eye. A sex swing. I've always wanted one and have been in one many times but now was my chance to have one of my very own. The only problem was what to hang it from. I know plenty of guys who would voluneer to fit it but I'm not sure I'd trust them with the task. Mine and someone elses safety was at stake.

I decided to call in a builder to fit the hook in the ceiling and planned to avoid any explanation of what it was for. On the appointed date he turned up, a middle aged man in his early fifties I'd guess.  He looked like some one who had grown comfortable in middle age, sedate and reliable. After a short conversation about where to place the hook which incidentaly was in my spare room, he asked what the hook was for. The intended purpose would dictate how he would go about the job of fixing it. I hesitated for a moment then told him, the safe fatherlike look on his face melted away , replaced by one of discomfort and near panic. Walking over to my closet and pulling the swing out into the room I acted with a cavalier attitude as though fitting sex swings were an everyday occurrence and as he recovered his composure he asked where in the room I wanted it. I raised my eyebrows and looked at him with feigned indignation and dropped my jaw a little
"Errr Th' the hook love, where d'you whan the hook!" he took a step back, away from me. "Oh the hook. Just here" I pointed up, just above the end of the bed.

His obvious embarrassment put me into a mischievous mood and I enjoyed watching as he fumbled measuring distances from walls and light fittings to the place the swing was to be fixed. After poking around in the loft space for a few minutes he announced he would have to return later with some materials. "20mil' ply should do it" He sniffed.

To be honest I didn't think he would return. He seemed very nervous and glad to leave the house of a nympho woman with his honor intact and after waiting for 3 1/2 hours his truck pulled up out side. He had come back with the materials required and some backup. He was introduced as "Kev", a spotty youth of 18 or so who sported a leering smirk on his face. "a'right?" he mumbled with a sharp upward nod a hs passed though the doorway. He knew, it was written all over his face. The story of me and the sex swing must have been told back at the yard and I decided to have some fun.

I had make the traditional tea with 4 sugars for the lads and as I took the mugs upstairs I caught site of the youth. Again he flicked his nose sharply, leered and said "al'right?".
"Here's your tea."
"Ta love" I caught his eyes scanning me from head to toe. I put my hands into the back pockets of my jeans, pushed my chest out slightly and turned my elbows in. This made my chest grow before his eyes. I turned my face and fixed my eyes on his. He gulped and then took a sip of tea.
"So.. been a builder long? I said in a slightly seductive way. Again he gulped and started to explain about training to be a plumber. Then his boo announced the job was complete and climbed down from the loft. They both walked over to the swing laying on the floor in a corner of the room and started to untangle the webbing straps. Kev was making faint "snafing" noises under his breath and giggling like a schoolboy. The swing was lifted onto the hook and there is swung for a moment. "there ya go luv". They turned to face me.

"Will it hold? It need to take the weight of two people...... I suppose there is only one way to find out gentlemen..."

They both jumped slightly. Spotty Kev's face split into an excited grin, memories of a thousand porn movies flashing across his mind. I walked over to the swing, passing between them, turned and held the straps above my head then lifted my body into the seat of the swing. the pointed toes of my boots found the stirrups and giggling I hung, gently turning and rocking. Young Kev seemed to be transfixed, waiting for the command to strip off and start fucking me. His boss on the other hand seemed to be contemplating his marriage and the risk that I seemed to be becoming to it.

Couldn't hold back the laughter much longer so I lowered my legs and slid expertly from the seat, walked out of the room and as I passed the men, thanked them and asked how much I owed. Poor Kev looked like he was going to cry, the bulge in his jeans showing how he had imagined the outcome should have been. As they left the house, Kev reminded me that I could call them in for any work I might need doing in the future. The boss glared at him and I'm sure I heard him say "No fucking way" under his breath as he walked up the path.

Well the swing has had quite a bit of use and  withstood a party I held with 8 of my friends. I'm sure it will bring many years of faithful service in the future. XXX