• GracefullyGrowing said on Jan 17, 2008....

  Good golly.  You have NO idea what this post has done for me.  It's quite timely.  My gratitude to you.
   
  ~Grace~

• silverwhisper said on Jan 17, 2008....

  that was superb to read, quietone. i've often found that failure is nowhere near as bad as i feared it could be, to be honest. :>
  
  ed

• wombat said on Jan 17, 2008....

  You talkin' to me?  I say, Are you talkin' to me?  Ha...Very good post, and one I need to print out in bold letters and hang on my wall over my computer!  I have lots of fears, but one of my worst is fear of success, I think.  I think my negative thinking spurs my fears--and I know how I ended up with negative thinking being on the front burner of my life.  You've given me some things to think about.  (and nice to have you back!)

• quietone said on Jan 17, 2008....

  Grace ~ thanks, and good to see you.
   
  ed ~ thanks.  I still deal with fear, but I don't let it get as big as it used to!  I beat it with a stick... and find out there really isn't anything there but a lot of air.
   
  wombat ~ hi ya...  thanks my friend.  fear is just another 4 letter word. 

• the_infernal_optimist said on Jan 17, 2008....

  Great post, quiet. Good for you.
  
  I was just thinking about fear the other day. I see it a bit differently now than I once did.
  
  ~Infernal
  

• quietone said on Jan 17, 2008....

  infernal ~ I think the older we get the smaller some fears get as well.  Good to see you.  hope all is well with you and family... I have some catching up to do.

• Mamie said on Jan 17, 2008....

  I am so with you on this, soul sister! In my new years resolutions, you might recall that I addressed fear thusly:
  Fear: who are you? Off with your head!!
  I also plan to give up fear for Lent...I mean it!!
  Good for you! Mamie

• Twylarants said on Jan 17, 2008....

  Someone recently told me they thought of me as courageous.  
  I'm not courageous, I'm just afraid of being afraid.
  I've been down that fear road, took it all the way to agoraphobia as a matter of fact.
  I didn't like the trip, so I'm never taking it again.
  
  
  

• vacantmind said on Jan 17, 2008....

  I may be in the minority on this one but I think fear has its place. It helps set limitations and guides you to the next steps in your life. Fear gets you pumped up with adrenaline and willing to take on the world when needed. I think we get that same reaction in small doses in our daily lives. Now, I don't believe that we should submit to our fears but learn what we need to do to overcome them so we can learn and grow.
  Does this make sense?

• GracefullyGrowing said on Jan 17, 2008....

  OF course fear has it's place.  It's when it's out of balance or imagined that it's a tyranical taskmaster.
   
  ~Grace~

• mobil said on Jan 17, 2008....

  Hey Quiet, I've not been around much, haven't been in SC for some time now. I think I got a brain bubble from a year and a half here haha.

   

  I just happened to stop in to see what was written on the my users tab and there was this great piece about fear. You even quoted FDR here. This is very well written Quiet and I believe so many can relate to it because we have all experienced and lived with some sort of fear in our lives.

   

  It appears to have paralyzed you during a part of your life and the way you wrote this, I doubt it will be a very big obstacle to you in the future. I remember growing up and this might answer your last question. I was a knot headed kid and pretty much fearless. I remember my Dad pulling me aside often talking to me about not fearing but having a healthy respect for things.

   

  He would say; Don't fear this, but keep a healthy respect for the ever present danger. Like driving a car, it's really an act of blind trust to be hurtling down the highway in an automobile at 75 mph with others coming toward you in the near lane at the same speed. Anything and I mean anything could go wrong in less than a heartbeat.

   

  So, to answer your last question (What is the worst that could happen if we lived without fear?) living without fear is a fantastic way to live. We must have a healthy respect for those things that can harm us, not fear, but respect. Nature doesn't suffer fools lightly.

   

  Those things that you feared and talked about in this piece, I think they have more to do with an uncontroable anxiety. An almost unexplainable fear of failure or acceptance. These fears are often seated in our childhoods, sounds like you got up on top of your fears. You stay there girl, you have a good head on your shoulders, if you're going to fear something, fear having too many friends and not enough time.

• cntlvmenuf said on Jan 17, 2008....

  "Courage is Fear that has said its prayers." I can relate to your post. I have held myself back because I feared the unknown. Now, I feel the fear, but do it anyways. I dont want down the line to ask myself "What if" or wish "if only."

• skald said on Jan 17, 2008....

  That was a really good post. Yes we can not live with constant fear. Of course we need some fear, just to keep on the save side. that is like not going into dark narrow streets at night. Things like that, being cautions but we can not live with constant fear. We have to trust our selfs at least as you said. Know what we can and can't .  

• crybabylu said on Jan 17, 2008....

  good

• quietone said on Jan 17, 2008....

  mamie ~ yes I remember your post.  it does feel good to put fear in its place.  :)

  twyla ~ good for you my friend!!

  vacantmind ~ oh I understand the "fear" you are talking about, I am talking about the fear that freezes you in place so you are afraid to grow, learn.  It is good to see your side of this also.  :)

  Grace ~ yes exactly... when fear starts ruling your world.. not good.

  cntlvmenuf ~ oh, the "if onlys" and "what ifs" exactly!  I think if we think through the "what ifs"  it does help us minimize the fear... like what if I take this new job and it does not turn out... well, the worse that can happen is you find another one... not a life and death situation.. I have a million if onlys!  LOL

  skald ~ thank you my friend, you are exactly right!  :)

• quietone said on Jan 17, 2008....

  mobil ~ it is so good to see you!! I miss your humor and your posts.  Hey, I haven't been here as long as you so you are cheating me outa some good laughs!  come on back and humor me!! 
  Yes... a healthy respect on things is a good way to put it.  Of course one is not going to say hey hell yes I will jump off this cliff... I have no fear!! (well some might LOL)  But I was talking about the inner fears we all have at one time or another... and yes, I feel most are brought on by childhood and life experiences.  I had no idea that I had been that close to quoting FDR ! ha imagine that....
  I bet you thought I skipped right over your name didnt ya!! I am waiting for a post from ya......thanks for stopping by my friend.

• destinydiva said on Jan 18, 2008....

  quiet what a cool post! very inspirational :-)
  how did you survive the days without your laptop? no internet....   did you have withdrawal symptoms?  :-)  glad to see you up and running again :-) xx
  
  
  

• MissMimi said on Jan 18, 2008....

  quiet one, this is an excellent post.  I live so much of my life based on fear.  It's that ugly feeling in the pit of your stomach at 3 in the morning.  I am trying to find the courage to live life not based on fear, but in spite of it.  Fear is exhausting.  Worrying about what will happen, and when will it happen, and what will I do if it happens makes me so tired.  I'm going to try to follow your example.  I dont want my epitaph to be "She was always afraid."

  Mobil, it was so nice to see you commenting.  It's about time.  :)

• quietone said on Jan 18, 2008....

  hi ya destiny ~ always good to see ya.  I survived by writing posts ahead... took time to think about what I was writing etc... that made my withdrawals a bit easier...but I did miss everyone a lot.  Now to play catch up!  glad you like the post!.  :)
   
  Mimi ~ yes fear IS exhausting.. it wears you down... it cheats us, lies to us, will do anything for us to keep holding on to it!  It is very hard not to have the what ifs and the when ifs... when you are faced with an illness... but whether you fear it or not... it is going to be there.  I say think positive thoughts, tell myself this will not beat me... I won't let it...as far as I am concerned it is gone... I will not pick it up, I will not own it!  Bless you Mimi!  Its like making a quilt one square at a time... one stitch at a time... before you know it... its all together and a beautiful warm thing, and all your worries of how it was going to come together were for nothing!  You are a very strong person.

• evil_twin said on Jan 18, 2008....

  I really liked this post. I have always let fear take over my life. I'm trying to stop that though. Because when you live in fear of something happening, you usually make it reality. And I don't want to do that anymore. I'd like to stop worrying so much about everything and just live!
  
  -evil_twin LA
  

• quietone said on Jan 18, 2008....

  e. t.  ~ that IS the true beauty of it all..... just BE  everything else will work out the way it is supposed to be.  you can "respect" the laws of nature, but you don't have to live in fear of them.  besides...now if you get sick..you have your very own private nurse!  ;)  always good to see you.

• Me-Myself&I said on Jan 18, 2008....

  the only thing i fear is fear....so when i start fearing, i get all "puffed-up" and hit it head on. i fear that fear will stop me from living and experiencing things. so, my pride won't allow me to cow-down. lol....sometimes i wish i would of listened to fear.....it was warning me! but pretty much, i have the courage to try frightful things. it's the Leo in me.... roaring!!!!!! *smile*

• Me-Myself&I said on Jan 18, 2008....

  oh! quietone....this is a great post.     see ya

• queenparanoia said on Jan 18, 2008....

  you know this is what i'm feeling today.. fear... but thanks for posting this post. because it made me realize we could defeat fear... thank you... =)

• quietone said on Jan 18, 2008....

  MM&I ~ ah ha... now I see why I like you... you are a Leo!!  I am a gemini! So that figues that! Now you can understand my twinful personality! ha... I like that word.. twinful! not that is a real word or anything, just like the sound of it... LOL  Anyway, there is also that "inner gut feeling" that is a warning, but I call that more instinct than "fear".  Fear is ugly and keeps one down and helpless.  You my friend are FAR from helpless!  :) and I mean that as a compliment~  thanks for stopping by glad you liked it.

   

• quietone said on Jan 18, 2008....

  queenie ~ hi ya!  great to see you sweetie.  We all "feel" fear one time or another... it how we choose to react to it that counts! Fear is something we can learn to squish like a bad insect!  {{ hugs }} 

• polarheart said on Jan 18, 2008....

  Dear Quietone, this is an excellent post.  That fear that grips you just under your rib-cage and twists your insides is the the fear that you are talking about. The kind of fear that make one anxious with worry.  I agree that I dont want that kind of fear in my life.  When I get that feeling come over me I pray until I feel that fear lift.  As you said, the opposite of fear is trust and I thus put my trust in God and in His Word that says that He will never leave me nor forsake me :-)
   
  And I so liked what Ed said "i've often found that failure is nowhere near as bad as i feared" - Good one Ed
   
  Luv Polar

• silverwhisper said on Jan 18, 2008....

  [bows]
  
  thank you, polar. :>
  
  ed

• quietone said on Jan 18, 2008....

  polar ~ always good to see you my friend.  yes, the fear that "traps" us into ungrowth as I would call it I guess.  I also have that trust in God.

  yes I agree.. ed.. if at first you don't succeed..try try again! (or just quit and move on to something easier LOL) 

• quietone said on Jan 18, 2008....

  crybby ~ oh, sorry I just now saw I skipped right over you.  {{hugs}} I see you there now.  thanks for stopping by.  :)  we must have been commenting the same time..

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