I swear school has been nothing but trouble for awhile now. It all started a little over two years ago I'd say. I took statics, physics 2, calculus 3, and an intro to engineering class all at the same time. For statics they put a lot of pressure on us, saying that how we make it through this class defines how we'll be as engineers. I was very worried about it and spent most of my time on it. Physics 2 wasn't easy either and the teacher was terrible, that took second priority. Calculus 3 I was trying, but only the minimum. The intro class the leader took on most of the work and I still feel bad I didn't ask to help out more, but I did my part when they asked. I thought I'd pass everything and be ok, I got a B- in statics, an A in physics and the intro class (which I did not deserve either one) and a D in calculus. That D was not expected and I was very upset. I had to have passed it with at least a C for my major, so I failed.
My ex had broken up with me just before finals then too, so that did not help. After that I didn't care anymore. I took calculus 3 again, strength of materials, a general requirement called core humanities 2 and circuits. Circuits, strength of materials and calculus were all pretty tough, along with a ton of reading for the humanities class. I only did the minimum with all of them. I was getting by till the last few tests when I realized I had to do well to make sure I'd pass, so I stepped up and studied hard. For circuits I got a bad grade on the test that I needed to do well on, I studied hard for it too, my friend said to talk to the teacher, so I did, and she had made a mistake. That had never happened to me before, I was very relieved that my studying did pay off. Strength of materials was hard to study for, the teacher seemed away most the time and never assigned what to read for it. I'm not sure how I made it through that class, but I did. Calculus I feel like I studied the same as last time but managed to pass. Humanities I scraped by as well. I got 2 B's and two C's and was thrilled that I made it. Then later that summer I got a letter saying that semesters gpa was 2.5 and I needed a 2.6 to keep my scholarships. I was done, that was it for me. I looked into transferring schools, but I have so many credits no one would take me.
I had signed up for more hard classes the next semester, my first day of school was horrible though, lots of little bad things, nothing went right. I decided that I needed a break, so I took the semester off. Next semester I kind of actually missed school, so I decided to take just one class, differential equations. I put in the miniumum and got a B- out of it. I decided if I couldn't transfer at least I could go for a year somewhere.
I picked a good school to go to and last semester was really hard. I picked dynamics, thermodyanmics, microeconomics and a materials class to do. I wanted to actually take 4 hard classes, micro and materials aren't to bad, but I figure I should go easy. Boy was I wrong. Dynamics and thermo killed me, the gradeing is much harder here and they treat dynamics like statics at my other school except even worse, if you fail the final you fail the whole class regardless of the work you've put in and everyone takes it at the same time, all sections, I've never heard of that before. I started out ambitious and saying I'll work really hard, but after I kept doing bad on tests and quizzes I kind of gave up half way through. I failed them and they almost kicked me out, which is terrible because then I'd have to keep the failed grades. My brother somehow talked them into keeping me here, so here I am.
They are being really nice and letting me just take both the classes I failed. I could take more, but I'm still really scared that I can't manage my time for them if I have more classes to worry about. Part of me feels like I don't belong here though, I had a pretty bad day a couple days into starting school again, reminded me of what I felt like before I took a break. Now my thermo teacher could break the whole thing. When I signed up for my dynamics and thermo classes in the fall I didn't realize dynamics is a prerequisit to thermo here, it's not at my other school, but the computer let me register for both. Besides there's not much else I could take instead to help me keep going in my major. My thermo teacher last quarter asked what I was taking and I told him, he had no problem with it. Now my new thermo teacher seems to, she purposely scheduled her final during the dynamics one, and remember how big of a deal the dynamics final is. I emailed her if I can reschedule and all she said asked is if I knew it was a prerequisit. I've emailed back explaining more then I want her to know, but I figure I should be honest. It's up to her now, she can easily make this a big deal if she wants to and I might be stuck with these bad grades forever then.
I wonder if this is all a sign to stop what I'm doing, it's just all been so much trouble and hassle from people at school. If it was the right thing to do, wouldn't it work out nicely? It's really scary too because I don't know what else to be doing and I do like that I get to go to school and it feels nice to be doing something with myself. It just be nice if I could put in more then the minimum, if I could feel excited about what I'm learning. Now though my whole college career could be ruined on some bad choices on my part that I wasn't even aware were bad choices and if a teacher feels like being nice or not.
