I'll admit it. I've never really had any friends. Not because I was a loser or a reject.
I've always been different, weird and different and never really tried to make friends and if I did make one, I had no clue how to keep her... I was so insecure and thought that eventually, that person would walk away from me.
So I convinced myself I didn't need friends and shied away from anyone who'd show any interest.
I was better off on my own... Meanwhile my sister had so many friends, friends she still has.
I watch "Sex and the City" and secretly I wish I could have that, girlfriends who'd call me up for breakfast, that I could show up at 2am at her door, crying and she'd let me in and listen and then we'd laugh and my faith in the world would be restored.
I wasn't exactly miserable on my own, and now, my only true best friend is my boyfriend whom I call Poops. He's my sidekick, my buddy, my roommate and my hero.
But I'd like a girl who'd be my friend. I've never had that. Partly because I never trusted girls, girls can be the worst bullies.
I'm not bisexual like so many young girls, I just would like a friend who'd just hang and then one day, we'd look back and we'd reminisce about all those times, and everything she'd been through... I'd been through...
I've never had anyone to share memories. I believe in myself, I'm funny, whatever---I could be a friend, but I'm scared. Scared of losing yet another friend.
I'm ready to take a chance, to find myself a Charlotte, or a Carrie, a Samantha or a Miranda. I really would want that.
To grow old with someone who'd just tag along and make me laugh. Whatever, I guess that poem I came across (let me copy and paste) on this site really got to me.
WHAT IS A FRIEND?
What is a friend? I will tell you. It is a person with whom you dare to be yourself. Your soul can be naked with him. He seems to ask of you to put on nothing, only to be what you are. He does not want you to be better or worse. When you are with him, you feel declared innocent. You do not have to be on your guard. You can say what you think, so long as it is genuinely you. He understands those contradictions in your nature that lead others to misjudge you. With him you breathe freely. You can avow your little vanities and envies, hates and vicious sparks, your meannesses and absurdities and, in opening them up to him, they are lost, dissolved on the white sands of his loyalty.
He understands. You do not have to be careful. You can abuse him, neglect him, tolerate him. Best of all, you can keep still with him. It makes no matter. He likes you. He is like fire that purge to the bone. He understands. You can weep with him, sin with him, laugh with him. Through it all and underneath, he sees, knows and loves you.
A friend... What is a friend? Just one, I repeat, with whom you dare to be yourself
(----C. Raymond Beran)
What is a friend? I will tell you. It is a person with whom you dare to be yourself. Your soul can be naked with him. He seems to ask of you to put on nothing, only to be what you are. He does not want you to be better or worse. When you are with him, you feel declared innocent. You do not have to be on your guard. You can say what you think, so long as it is genuinely you. He understands those contradictions in your nature that lead others to misjudge you. With him you breathe freely. You can avow your little vanities and envies, hates and vicious sparks, your meannesses and absurdities and, in opening them up to him, they are lost, dissolved on the white sands of his loyalty.
He understands. You do not have to be careful. You can abuse him, neglect him, tolerate him. Best of all, you can keep still with him. It makes no matter. He likes you. He is like fire that purge to the bone. He understands. You can weep with him, sin with him, laugh with him. Through it all and underneath, he sees, knows and loves you.
A friend... What is a friend? Just one, I repeat, with whom you dare to be yourself
(----C. Raymond Beran)
I've used up all my blogs for the day... Catch you later!!!
