• Sunshine_Mariah said on Jan 10, 2008....

  Wow...that was hard to get off my chest...

• wombat said on Jan 10, 2008....

  I am sorry about your mother, first of all.
   
  I'm not one to talk, because I need to go have a mamogram and a physical myself, but I do hope you stay on top of this, even if you are worried about the what the results might be.  I know how you are feeling, because I live by the same little rule--if you don't look for trouble, then maybe trouble won't find you.
   
  Even though I am guilty of the same thing, I would hope you at least find out the results--so you can stop worrying mostly. 
   
   

• lampshade said on Jan 10, 2008....

  Mariah...you're my best friend on this site and right now in the whole wide world.  Its hard to even know what to say but I know you can beat this.  The title of this post is one of the most positive things I've ever read.  Say it to yourself...say it out loud.  Say it because its true.  

• Sunshine_Mariah said on Jan 10, 2008....

  wombat - Best of luck to you!
   
  lampshade - Thank you for all the support you continue to give me. I don't quite know what else to say at the moment... but you gave me the strength to write this... and that means a lot to me!

• GracefullyGrowing said on Jan 10, 2008....

  Sunshine - There are many, many, many cancer survivors.  I am one. You certainly can beat it, if you think you can.  The mind has untold power.  Use it to your advantage.
   
  ~Grace~

• secretlife said on Jan 10, 2008....

  I'm a survior too Mariah.

  early detection.......much much better odds.

  be brave and GO.......

  i'm praying for you....for strength to face and strength to fight.

• uniquely-ironic said on Jan 10, 2008....

  I truly understand the fear of finding a lump.  I had a lump removed in 1987.  In my case I was so very lucky it was not cancer.  I'm hoping and "praying" it is the same good news for you.
   
  As was mentioned, early detection is the best weapon.  Walk through the fear and met this face on.  You have friends here and I hope you will consider leaning on them if you need the support.  I'd like to also offer my ear.

• Sunshine_Mariah said on Jan 10, 2008....

  Grace - Thank you. I will do my best to use my mind to my advantage! Congrats on surviving! :-)
   
  secret - Also congrats to you on surviving! :-) And thank you for the prayers...
   
  unique - Unfortunately, we already know my lump is infact cancerous. But thank you for reminding me that my friends are here and I can lean on them. I will certainly be doing that! :-)

• wombat said on Jan 10, 2008....

  Sunshine Mariah:  Let me apologize.  I didn't read that last sentence of your post correctly.  I am sorry for the way my comments read. 

• Sunshine_Mariah said on Jan 10, 2008....

  wombat - It's quite alright! :-) No need to worry about your comment.

• Mamie said on Jan 10, 2008....

  sweetheart....I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your mom. I did not know...lets just pretend like I am one of your favorite aunts....here is what I would say to my beloved niece:
   
  Sweetie, you will go. Sooner or later you will go. Please go now. It is very scary. I am a survivor too and have been cancer free now for 4 years. I was in treatment for only a few months and I prayed alot. I talked for hours and hours and hours about it to people. I cried because I was NOT a sick person. I was NOT going to be bald and I was NOT going to do this. (I already was sick, and it brought out the very best in the people around me...I was bald and had the cutest bald head in my county...friends asked me to pls put my wig back on and stop showing off my very cool head....and I kicked its ass!)
   
  But then I changed my mind. I envisioned myself hearing the news, making lots of appointments, going, feeling crappy but then feeling good again. I then envisioned myself as well and each and every step happened JUST as I had pictured.
   
  You can do this honey bun, but I understand how nerve racking it is. You have made one really important step in getting these fears out of your heart and soul and onto this page. Now you are ready to take the next step...so that you do not have to wonder what may become of you...you will know and declare it:  you will be healthy and strong. You will take those high heels and beat down anything or any body that gets in your way.
  I think it is time for you to get highly pissed! Honey, go now, before this ridiculous disease decides to take another look around...it is sneaky but we have beat it before and we will now. We will be here with you for this part of your journey, and we will be here celebrating your cure. with love....Mamie

• Sunshine_Mariah said on Jan 10, 2008....

  Mamie - *wipes tears* Thank you so very much for those kind words. I am in shock here... not quite sure what to say. I knew there was a level of support here, to some extent...and I was reminded about that by a dear friend... and now you Mamie, along with everyone else who commented this far, have showed me the kind of people who are here at SoulCast.
   
  You are all just amazing, nothing short of it either! Thank you for the support you have given me this far, and the support I know I will to continue to feel down the road. You are my angels! :-)

• designedmoreforpublic said on Jan 10, 2008....

  One of my best friends is a 22 year breast cancer survivor - and breast cancer also took the life of her mother.

  You WILL beat this - you will fight like hell and you will overcome! 

  I can only imagine how overwhelmed and lost you feel right now.  I am so sorry - lt it all out!  Scream, cry, write, throw things - whatever you need to do.

  And know that ALL of us here @ SC are here for you!
  Designed-

• Sunshine_Mariah said on Jan 10, 2008....

  designed - That sounds like me... except that I am 23. And you are right, I WILL fight like hell to overcome this! Thanks for the support, and watch out for flying objects! :-)

• GracefullyGrowing said on Jan 10, 2008....

  Sunshine - I was 23 and two months when I was diagnosed with Ovarian cancer.  I had surgery and chemo immediately.  I've never had another bout with it.  I *know* how hard it is to be so young and face such things. 

  I agree with Designed - scream, write, cry, EVERYTHING you can.  Talk to as many people as you can.  Get all the information you can.  And most of all - DO everything you can to get it taken care of.

  I'm around, if you need anything.  And I do mean anything.

  ~Grace~

• Sunshine_Mariah said on Jan 10, 2008....

  Grace - You don't know how much of a (I don't know how this is going to sound but...), almost a sigh of relief it is to see/hear of someone else so young. I will take your words of advise and use them... and I will be sure to contact you if I need anything! :-) Thank you again.

• lalalalalala said on Jan 10, 2008....

  Sunshine! You can beat cancer! You've pretty much said so yourself already! Best of luck! You can always blog and we will help you thru!

• destinydiva said on Jan 10, 2008....

  sunshine, I was 18 or 19 when I was diagnosed with cancer, mine wasnt such a serious one as breat cancer but I have experienced that same fear, I am soooooo sorry to read that you are going through this especially after losing your mum, but you didnt think you were strong enough to get through christmas did you? and you made it....  your an amazingly strong young  woman sunshine, I have every faith in you being strong enough to fight this, make another appointment asap ...  and as mamie said..get those heels ready for battle!!  you can do this sunshine, I know you can!! and I'm with you in this ok? we all are, you'll never be alone
  (((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))
  love destiny xx
  

• pickersplock said on Jan 10, 2008....

  I couldn't say it any better than these ladies have already!
  I'm sending you good thoughts and prayers!

• Eilan said on Jan 10, 2008....

  Get thee to your oncologist.  You can kick this thing's ass!
  
  *ducks the flying objects*
  
  

• Twylarants said on Jan 10, 2008....

  Sunshine~ You're afraid of what you're going to hear, but you're going to hear your doctors tell you what they and you are gonna do to get rid of this ugly disease as quickly as possible and get you back into the swing of things. 
  The doctors are ready to take it on, they're just waiting for you.  They've got their battle plan, they're locked and loaded.
   Get in there and start fighting girl!  Kick it's ass!
  

• the_infernal_optimist said on Jan 10, 2008....

  Oh yes, you are going to kick cancer's butt!
  
  If it helps, all three of my living grandparents (I never knew the fourth) have battled and beaten different types of cancer, as have two aunts and a cousin. Cancer is scary as hell, but people claim victory over it every day! You will too - but you need to get your butt to the oncologist's, because that's an ally you need at your side, kicking butt with you.
  
  ((massive Infernal hugs))
  
  ~Infernal
  

• vacantmind said on Jan 10, 2008....

  I have cancer though its not breast cancer and I have to worlds most positive oncologist...which helps. I understand the fear and that your life changes the minute those words are told to you. It is a paralyzing. I have done chemo for 3 months and at some moments I feel like life is being drained from me and other times like life is being given to me. It is all a state of mind.
  Put on your 5 inch heels and have the biopsy. You will be glad you didn't wait any longer.

• queenparanoia said on Jan 10, 2008....

  {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

  this is must be really hard for you... but stay strong

• Jenna said on Jan 10, 2008....

   

  Sunshine....you can do this....you will do this....we are  here right beside you.  I love your five inch heels kicking ass....you go girl. 

  I hold you hand and squeeze it real tight during the scary times.

  God bless!

• sweet_cookie01 said on Jan 10, 2008....

  sunshine... what i am about to say is not new to you anymore... i bet a dozen and a million has already said the same thing to you... Dont give up, its okay to be scared... face the challenge of life... we are here to pray for you and be by yourside to give you encouragement and strength to fight this... hold your head up high and stride with style coz baby... you are going to kick cancer with your 5inch heels!!!!
   
  cheer up... smile... see your oncologist and beat the hell out of this cancer...

• crybabylu said on Jan 10, 2008....

  Sunshine-----I like your attitude......that is a winning spirit.......good for you...............L, dee
   
  {{{{love & prayrs}}}}        ((((((hugs too!)))))))

• Eilan said on Jan 10, 2008....

  I'm just impressed that Sunshine_Mariah has five-inch heels and can walk in them, let alone kick things.  :D

• hypntized said on Jan 10, 2008....

  you are one of the strongest people i know and there is no doubt in my mind that u will whip the crap outta this.  stay strong and always be positive. you have all kinds of friends that are here to support you, and help in anyway possible. 

• Clair_de_Lune said on Jan 10, 2008....

  I am sorry for the terror and Hell you have been through dear..
  
  I won't be on here much anymore..
  
  You have my promise I will be praying for you..
  
  God bless you hon,
  
  clair
  

• wombat said on Jan 10, 2008....

  Clair de Lune:  Why are you not going be on here much anymore?  Please respond?

• gingersoul said on Jan 10, 2008....

  First go, then worry. Worrying before knowing is just a waste of time. And if there is something you can't afford to waste with cancer is time.

  Cancer took away from me too many people already.

  I had my big scare last November. After a mammogram they found a suspicious area in my right breast. I had to go back and have an ultrasound done. It ended up to be a cyst.

  But I refused to worry until the response of the ultrasound.

  And so you should do.

  All my best wishes to you. Have a good kick with those heels...:-)

     

• CreativeWoman said on Jan 10, 2008....

  Sunshine Mariah,
  
  You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.
  
  CW
  

• D6fer said on Jan 10, 2008....

  Sunshine....there is only one way to beat it and that is to get help....we'll be here to talk to when you need it....I'll pray for ya!

• polarheart said on Jan 11, 2008....

  Sunshine, my mommy also passed away from what started as breast cancer and spread to her lungs.  I think part of the problem is that it was left too long before a proper diagnosis was made. . .it was quite a long time ago.
   
  I really hope and pray that you will get up now and go to the doctor. . .the sooner you do. . .the sooner you can "kick cancer with your killer 5 inch heels".
   
  DONT DELAY.  There is help available and you will only be doing yourself harm by not going immediately.  You are not responsible that cancer is attacking your body, but you ARE responsible to take the best possible care of yourself.
   
  Just think if it was your best friend who had written this post. . .what would you say to them? HUH?
   
  Now, as Eilan said: Get thee to the oncologist!!
   
  Love Polar

• lfbno7 said on Jan 11, 2008....

  Your best course of action is to have it checked out asap. If the biopsy indicates that treatment is necessary, start your treatment immediately. It is never a good idea to get cold feet AFTER a biopsy. Once the biopsy is done, you must do what they say without delay, because the biopsy itself can stir things up. So it isn't the best idea to delay before the biopsy, but it is absolutely wrong to delay after a biopsy. If the biopsy finds malignant cancer, tell them to zap it immediately.
  
  And give your body all the strength you can, which means get your rest, eat well, and take all your multi vitamins and minerals. These things give your immune system the power they need to do the job right. Prayer will help too. Scientific studies have shown that prayer does help. I don't care if they think it helps because it is good for your psychology, or if it helps because it actually brings the aid of God or angels or spirits, what's the difference, it's been proven scientifically to help, so who cares why it helps. These studies tell IF it helps, not WHY it helps.
  
  If you are too scared of a biopsy, ask your doctor if there are any alternatives. You might ask him or her to look into the CGH pregnancy test, believe it or not, because I've read that it is a 90% plus indicator of malignant cancer. If you test positive on it, either you're pregnant or you have malignant cancer. Who knows if there is any merit in the things you find here and there, so ask the doctor to look into it for you, or into any other alternatives, if that's the route you prefer to take. A good doctor won't laugh it off, and will look into it.

• davidstar said on Jan 11, 2008....

  My sister had breast cancer at 26.  She found a lump, but they removed it and she got chemo, and she is fine.

• skald said on Jan 11, 2008....

  I know more than one and more than two women who have survived breast cancer. My friend first fought for her life when she had cancer in the womb and she is a tiny little feeble thing. She won and 10 years later she had her breast removed because of breast cancer. That was many years ago and she is sound and doing what she likes best.
  
  My works made had a section of her breast taken and that was years ago too. She is strong today. So is a made of mine at the swimming pool who had her breast taken and more and more people I know. So why not you. It was very bad about your mother and you are so young. But because your youth you might be stronger than many and survive. Just believe you will survive. Lots of love Skald 

• tryyobo said on Jan 11, 2008....

  Hia Sunshine,

    Sorry to read about your cancer, I`m new to this blog site or any other blog site for that matter.

  your user name is sunshine, try to get some soon, go to that appiontment .

  dont  worry cancer loves that! thats all guy speek! but theres truth there.

  Many years ago a man called Sir Francis Chichester sailed around the world single handed, before he went he was diagnosed with lung cancer.

  When he sailed into Plymouth Sound at the finish the cancer had gone !!

   I was only a boy at the time ,but remember it well I was there.

  Dont give cancer time! think positive, think happy go see that doc.

  Get some sunshine, sunshine & don`t eat just blue m&ms

    Take care Tryyobo :-)...  

• travelr712 said on Jan 11, 2008....

  hi sunshine. there's really not much i can add here, except that i'm thinking of you too. just like everyone else here has said, the best chance of beating this is to get treatment asap, before it has a chance to really take hold. also, this desease seems to feed on fear. i can understand how hard it must be not to be afraid, perhaps if you just get angry at it and stuborned about it, then the fear won't be able to take hold either?

• quietone said on Jan 11, 2008....

  sunshine ~ I can't say any more then everyone else has already said.  I send you "pink" and say a prayer for you .  stay positive ~ there is a world of support right here on SC.  {{{{hugs}}}

• Mamie said on Jan 11, 2008....

  Good Morning, Sunshine! [Mamie throws open the curtains and fluffs your pillows]...so how's about I get you the phone and we book this thing? Then we can grab a starbucks, see what's hot at the Anthropolgie store and take a stroll around town??

• TheSignPost said on Jan 11, 2008....

  Hi sunshine.  From my first day i have not been able to get back on SC because of work committments, but you were the first person i really spoke to on this site and then the first thing I saw coming back was this post.

  Don't delay, babylove (that's what i call my daughter), get the necessary stuff done asap.  It is soooo scary (my heart started beating when I read your post), but you must.

  I haven't got the legs, but if it helps, I'll put some 5inch heels on as well.  Whatever helps - cancer is beatable, just listen to the survivors here on SC. 

  You will be in my nightly prayers from now on  xx

• Sunshine_Mariah said on Jan 11, 2008....

  Lala – Thank you! I will be sure to keep blogging and looking for support

  Destiny - *hugs* Thanks for having faith in me. And you’re right… I WILL make it through this, just as I did with Christmas!

  Pickers – Thanks very much for the thoughts and prayers.

  Eilan – I’ve made a new appointment today… I am scheduled to go back in next week Thursday, on the 17th! And I don’t own 5 inch heels…but I feel I should get a pair now and maybe just hang them on my wall or something!

  Twyla – Thanks! I needed the support of everyone here, and now I feel ready to join the battle.

  Infernal – *hugs* Thank you, that does help. I plan to claim victory over this ugly disease as well!

  Vacant – Very sorry to hear that you also have cancer. I’ll be sure to put on my heels and have the biopsy. Thank you.

  Queen - *hugs* I’m doing my best to stay strong. Thanks!

  Jenna – Thanks for the hand, but be careful…I am definitely going to be squeezing tight!

  Sweet – Thank you! *puts a smile on*

  Crybaby - *hugs* My attitude has certainly been positive since posting this, and having received all the wonderful support. Thank you!

  Hypntized – Thank you! I will do my best to continue being strong. And I do know that I have amazing friends here… I think it shows among all of these comments.

  Clair – Take care wherever you will be. Thanks for the thoughts and prayers!

  Ginger – I’m happy to hear you made out well with your scare. Thank you for your best wishes!

  CW – Thank you for putting me in your thoughts and prayers. That really means a lot!

  D6 – I’m going to get help, thanks!

  Polar – You’re right… I would tell my friend to get off her butt and go get help. Thanks for the encouragement! And sorry to hear about your mom.

  Lfbno – Thank you for the great advice. I will definitely keep those things in mind as I head towards my biopsy.

  David – I’m glad to hear your sister is ok. Thanks for the support.

  Skald – Thank you for believing in me!

  Tryyobo – Welcome to soulcast! And thanks for the positive comment. I will continue to take some sunshine from myself; and I promise to eat more than just blue m&m’s.

  Travelr – I’m trying to block out the fear. Thank you for thinking about me!

  Quiet - *hugs* Thank you so very much!

  Mamie – Sounds good! You know… I don’t mean to offend or make you feel old or anything… but what you said, reminded me of something my mom would say and do. I almost feel like she is present. Thank you so much for that. Even though I hardly know you… it almost feels like you are a mother figure to me. And I appreciate it greatly.

  Sign – I’d like to see you in 5 inch heels! *wink wink* Just kidding. Thank you for the very sweet comment. I won’t delay anymore… After reading all of these posts, and hearing people’s stories… I have the strength to move forward.

   

  EVERYONE – Thank you ALL so very much. Reading all of your comments brought tears to my eyes and it is just amazing what you all did for me. Even though we may only know each other online, I do feel a connection to each and every one of you. Your comments have given me confidence and strength, and I thank you all for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers. I will be sure to keep you updated on my progress. Best wishes to you all. ~Mariah

• Mamie said on Jan 11, 2008....

  awww, honey, no offense taken at all, truth be told, that is a compliment...I am a mom so likely my mom vibe peeked out...and your mom is with you , ya know? Speaking to you in each of these messages of love, encouraging you, comforting you, inspiring you to fight, just the same as always.

  I have some beloveds for whom I have done some mothering since their mom passed, maybe it is one of my jobs here on earth. Proud of that...lets get to it! Mamie

• Sunshine_Mariah said on Jan 12, 2008....

  Thank you Mamie! You are an absolute sweetheart! :-)

• manly said on Jan 13, 2008....

  I just read through your post and all your replies, and it is truly amazing.
   
  Just remember, when you walk into the doctor's office, you will be far from alone, all those people listed above me will be walking right in there with you.
   
  Don't be afraid, there have been many others that have gone through the same, or worse, than what you are going through, and have come out stronger and better than ever. We're all in beating cancer and fear of it together.

• Sunshine_Mariah said on Jan 13, 2008....

  Thanks manly! And welcome to SoulCast. You're right... all these people will be walking right in with me! :-) Thanks for reminding me of that...

• manly said on Jan 14, 2008....

  :)

• wakingharmony said on Jan 17, 2008....

  (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Sunshine))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

• 007Hardone said on Jul 31, 2008....

  Get your physicals, mamograms and all! This thing will not go away, take action before "It" takes action on you. While I'm a male who does not need the same exams, staying healthy is priority number ONE!

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