and so life is unfair

for all its turmoils and downturns

for all its tears and sad loves

for all its forsaken and forgotten dreams.

Should you say dear, that all is well

in its time and fashion

that all roads converge in one direction

no matter how many blunders or error judgements you make,

all is well--all is well.

but is it?

when these walls

shall be the bare witness of a broken life,

when all reasons and all waitings

had been in vain

shall i wait for another hundred years?

these lives within my head,

this passion that has been burning,

o how it has been burning for too long

and soon there will be nothing left

but ashes and dust.

when you face up to another day

and another--and another

with the coldness of a corpse

and the spirit of a dead man

you find yourself losing grip

and all reasons to breathe.

how each day is choking you

and you could not but think

of a desperate foolish act

and the damage

you can inflict upon your soul

and you cannot wait

to escape this hell on earth.

when all the booze and fags

could not save you anymore

you are left to ponder

upon life's greatest mysteries

of destiny and freewill.

So what could've saved you, my dear?

Jakarta, 14 February 2006 5.17AM, a sad valentine

--Destiny, if there is such a thing, where art thou--