I've been feeling rather lost lately.  Like I'm drunk all the time, not in the sense that I'm on anything, but like when you're one past buzzed and nothing seems to happen quite the way you want it to (no matter how hard you try).  You're not horribly fucked yet, throwing up in some back alley, but that drink is harder to grab, your coat is suddenly heavier, and the words just wont come out right.

I'm having one of those weeks, no, I take that back, months where nothing feels right, and I want to go back to a better time.  Not a spectacular way to start a year.  And as hard as I try not to lament for lost things (ie: any little grain of happiness in my heart), it just keeps coming back, in waves.  I wish I were home, with my lover and my family, I wish I weren't struggling, I wish I didn't have to go to work.  Where are my friends, my happiness, my love?

Also, my hair is a new confusing shade of black with a purple tint--it was cute and spunky when I dyed it, but now it just feels like what's going on in my head.