• destinydiva said on Jan 09, 2008....

  I think it is truly polarheart of you!! :-)  so thoughtful to think of others even when it comes to you not being here...   :-)
  I do think it is a very good idea, and something I will probley do myself especially whilst its just me here, I have no advice tho cus i am the least organised person I know, sorry :-) xx
  

• uniquely-ironic said on Jan 09, 2008....

  great idea!  I know some people consider it morbid, but really it is a kindness.
   
  You may want to put all important papers in a safe deposit box and leave a letter of permission to access it in case of your death to a short list of people.  Your burial wishes might also be included as sometimes banks get fussy about who to let get into the deposit boxes.  Send more than one person a copy of the letter so that you're covered.
   
  I know it sure would have been easier to deal with either of my grandmother's passings if either one had given us a letter with their wishes.  It's something that I also need to do.  I do think I'll wait until after I'm married though so that I can do it once instead of twice.

• rupert7 said on Jan 09, 2008....

  Polar, it might be a good idea but please don't fall into a rut of morbidity! I mean don't become obsessed with death and the idea it is waiting to pounce on you! You will be here for at least another 50 years :-)

• polarheart said on Jan 09, 2008....

  Destiny, hunny I think you should just have a pad of paper lying somewhere so that you can write down things that are important as they come to you; things that those left behind need to know in order to finalise your estate in the event of death.  The other thing I want to do is leave a specific letter for each of my loved ones - - - just a little something special for them in passing :-)
   
  U-I, that is really good advice, thank you for that.  I had to arrange all my dad's things when he passed and I really could not give myself oppotunity to mourn properly because I was so stressed about trying to sort through everything.  Yes, I agree that you and your hubby should do that once you are married; it makes sense.
   
  Rupe, my dear, trust me I am not morbid. . .promise!  I am just being realistic.  Anything could happen to anyone at any time and I just want to know that I dont leave anyone with too much trouble when I go.  I am fine and tend to be around for a long long time, but my life is not in my own hands, and that I need to remember :-)

• beyondtheveil said on Jan 09, 2008....

  polar- I agree with you- it is a mature take on things. Everyone should do this. I've seen the effect on people left behind when this wasn't done. 

• Twylarants said on Jan 09, 2008....

  It's a good idea to do it now Polar, while you're young and not facing illness, because it's easier and less uncomfortable to think about.  We've done it only recently, and with my husband's health the way it is, it was not an easy thing to do.  So do it as soon as you can...that way you'll both be in a good state of mind to make important decisions.

• MissMimi said on Jan 09, 2008....

  Now, polarbaby,  I read the title wrong and thought you were asking if you should die.  The answer is no.  You definitely should not die.

• travelr712 said on Jan 09, 2008....

  yeah polarcakes, what's all this talk about death? i mean, true, it's considerate and all, but how inconsiderate would it be of you to die on us? nope, leave the paperwork a mess and then you'll come back safe and sound is what i says!
   
  actually, you could go to your local walmart and get one of those portfolios with the multiple pockets, and label each pocket and divide your paperwork up in that. it would be an easy way for someone to find, say, insurance statements, or the car title, or whatever.

• merlin said on Jan 10, 2008....

  Hi polarheart! I think the idea of leaving a letter for each of your loved ones is really special, also im from south africa and i heard that you were originally from s.a ,so just wanted to stop by and say to a fellow south African

• hotaka said on Jan 10, 2008....

  It sounds all good to me. I often think about that because I often have many things lying about incomplete. Who would know what to do with the file of photos (waiting to be labeled and sent off to the stock agency)? Who would know what to do with the unedited articles I had hoped to send away? What about my life insurance (the beneficiary needs to be changed from my mother to K)? What about materials already in the hands of editors?
   
  I think you are wise to try to get organized before heading out the door.

• skald said on Jan 10, 2008....

  My dear I have no advise. I must say that you are very reliable. I did not think of things like that at your age and I still don't. In case that I die my husband gets what I own and after us the boys and that is good enough  for me. [[[[[[[[[Hugs]]]]]]]]]
  
  PS. My dear Polarcakes you will live for many years to come.
  

• Actorguy said on Jan 10, 2008....

  Take it from one who knows polar, this is a very good idea.  My sister-in-law was killed in 1989.  She was a single parent with two small children.  My wife and I took her two children.  She was a very organized person.....much more-so than I am.... but she had appointed an ex-boyfriend as guardian and had not updated her will.  After all, who thinks about dying at 33.
   
  Even though everyone involved agreed that we should have the kids, we were left with a monumental mess that took almost five years and thousands of dollars to sort out.  I can't tell you how hard this was on us and the kids.
   
  An updated will, along with a letter of disposition....notarized if possible, would have simplified so many things.

• queenparanoia said on Jan 10, 2008....

  wow this scared me a little bit. but after reading it i think it's a good idea... so that tigger will be in good hands...

• hotaka said on Jan 10, 2008....

  Ha! Caught you queenP. You're following me again. Or leading me...? I'm not sure now. But here you are.

• quietone said on Jan 10, 2008....

  polar dear, I think it is a good idea for everyon  to do.  Yes, and to make a written plan for your son so you know he will be taken care of.  No one knows when their number will be up.  {{{hugs}}} I myself have put it off way too long.

• Bronx said on Jan 10, 2008....

  Polar: I was going to say 'WTH's going on?' - until I remembered my lte cousin. Yes, you're being realistic.
  
  My cousin traveled with his only son by road on vacation and both died in an accident after a four-vehicle pile up that included a fuel tanker.
  
  He, his son and his new car were burnt beyond recognition - and nobody could remember the license plate number or the particular insurance company he had used.
  
  Well done.
  

• polarheart said on Jan 10, 2008....

  Beyond, thanks for your stamp of approval :-)
   
  Twyla, thanks for the comment, I am sure that it must have been difficult for you.  Is it all in order now?
   
  Mimikins, LOL!  Thank you, that's just the answer I needed :-))
   
  Trav, yes perhaps if I leave it all in a mess it will buy me some more time LOL! Thanls for the comment :-)
   
  Merlin, thanks for popping in; its so nice to have a fellow SA blogger here :-)
   
  Hotcakes, i'm glad I'm not the only who is concerned about my state of affairs.  You really should try and make some notes about all those things before baba arrives, coz you're going to be busy like heck once they arrive. . .and believe me: 9 months fly by in no time at all :-)
   
  Skaldikins, thank you my darling friend :-))  I just want to be wise in living since I dont have the family network that many others are blessed with.  We do have our wills drawn up, but I just want to put all our paperwork together (just incase)! (((hugs to you too))))
   
  Actorguy, that's exactly what I'm talking about.  I went through it relatively mildly when my dad passed away, whereas you really faced a huge task and it is just not fair on those left behind.  I think more people should be proactive in this way.
   
  Queenie, thanks hunny. . .I hope to be a good mom even when I'm gone.
   
  Quietone, you're quite right, we all have a set time on the clock of life.  I hope your computer will not be at the drs too long. . .cant have you away from here for an extended period of time! ((((hugs))))
   
  Bronx, what a sad story!  It just gives me more incentive to get stuck in.  I actually started making a list of things to write down whilst on the train to work this morning.  Nice to see you!

• travelr712 said on Jan 10, 2008....

  yeah poley, ya see? that's thinking positive! :-)

• Twylarants said on Jan 10, 2008....

  Polar~ We're all signed and sealed, just in no hurry to be delivered..hee hee hee!
  The next time we change it will be to bequeath the obscenely large amount of lottery money we plan to win, because we'll both die of shock before we get to spend it.
  
  MissMimi, as we say down here in Dixieland, "yer a hoot 'n a holler!" 

• polarheart said on Jan 11, 2008....

  Trav, you're so funny :-)))
   
  Twyla, you made me chuckle!  I know so many people who plan to win the lottery. . .I hope it will come true for you!!

• Bronx said on Jan 11, 2008....

  Yes, it was sad. Glad to see you are taking life as seriously as it should be taken. Nice to see you, too.

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