I'm a worrier.  My mother is a worrier, her mother is a worrier, so it's not like I'm surprised or anything!  Here I am, worrying again.

I've been having funny headaches lately.  Intellectually speaking, I'm pretty sure it's a sinus thing.  I have "weak" sinuses where every time I catch a cold it ends up as a sinus infection, and I have been feeling kind of congested lately.  Starting on those days last week when it was so cold here (-30C with windchill!)  But then that little bell goes off in my brain - "You know, your wisdom teeth still haven't come in..."  It's not my teeth.  I know it's not my teeth.  But now that I've thought of it, I can't get it off my mind!  At least I checked our insurance policy and if I needed an extraction we're covered for that.  Not sure if we have enough coverage if I needed all four taken out, but then I don't know if I'd need all four, or all at once.  Next thing would be finding a dentist.  I should really see a dentist anyway.  It's been years and I'm sure my teeth need some attention.  And anyway I need to get my wisdom teeth checked out even if they're not causing my headaches.  Sooo...next time I see my GP I will ask her for a referral and if there's anyone she recommends.

On to the next.  I need to call immigration.  They keep saying they need my "passport or travel document."  I sent them a copy of my birth certificate which was my travel document when I entered the country.  As I understand it the new law for passports in the U.S. doesn't take effect completely until next year.  I assume that since I can still use my birth certificate to cross the border, it's still eligible as my "travel document."  I even sent a note to explain!  But they keep marking "passport or travel document."  So I have to call them and clear that up.  I will either find out that they were just confused and mistaken ("the new guy looked in your file and didn't see a passport") or that I am mistaken and I need an actual passport.

Where this gets complicated is that I also need to redo my medical exam so that it's up to date.  The nearest clinic authorized to do the immigration exam is in Quebec City.  At the same time, I will have to apply for my passport in person as my previous one expired too long ago, and the nearest embassy is also in Quebec city.  So if it turns out I need an honest-to-God passport, either I hope REALLY HARD that I can get a passport appointment on the same day as my medical exam or else I will have to somehow make TWO trips.

And our budget would be so much better off if we weren't even making one, but it's got to be done.  So we're looking at several hundred dollars in expenses in addition to the cost of the exam (and passport, if need be) itself.  And we don't have a car or a credit card so to get there we either have to wait until we can afford a car (in March at best I believe), catch a ride with friends if anyone goes that direction, or take the bus again.  And then we will have to use buses and taxis while in Quebec.  Urgh.

The upside is that these are the very last things I have to do for immigration.  So as much stress as it is to me, at least it's the end.  After that, my application is essentially approved, everything's paid up.  All I'll have left to do is order my official ID card when it's all over.

Sooo...that brings me to car talk.  We have given up trying to get a loan unless we go through a second-chance type place.  But I don't think we will, because in our budget, if we just wait a few more months, we will be able to pay cash.  Not for anything NEAR new, but something that will reliably take us where we want to go.  And this time we have enough money that we can set aside a small maintenance fund.  Our other car would have lasted much longer than it did but we simply couldn't afford the "preventive care."  So we're saving for a car.

Also we are sick to death of our apartment, our neighbors, etc. so we are definitely moving this year.  We have a place in mind that we have a good shot at getting but nothing is for certain yet.  We definitely want to move up, maybe one room bigger in a neighborhood that's not for students and bachelors.  So we're saving for an apartment upgrade.

Then we have to think of - our current place is partly furnished.  DH has some dorm-style appliances from his year as a single man so we would have what we need.  But I am not looking forward to cooking on a hot plate and using a mini-fridge!  At least we have a big standalone freezer though!  But it means we will have to think of eventually buying at least a stove, possibly a fridge (I can deal with the minifridge longer then I can the hot plate!!)

All this on top of me not having a job.  There aren't really any jobs in our area that I can do.  Because of my feet, I really need a job that lets me sit down at least some of the time (the orthotics help a TON but I don't think I could last a full day even still).  But most sit-down jobs are skilled jobs, and I don't have any skills.  Except my English.  So I'm working on my business, but I'm scared a lot too.  If it fails, my personal value will take a big hit because that's basically my only earning potential.  I'm scared to look for clients when I can only meet with them in the basement of the mall.  And I'm scared to look for an office space when I don't have any clients.

Thankfully, DH reminded me of something I had forgotten - once we have a car again, I will be able to do secret shopper missions and those pay really well and I am the ideal person for them because I can go any day, any time of day.  He keeps reminding me that I help us a lot with what I do here at home (though I maintain I am a crappy housekeeper but I have come leaps and bounds the last few months and actually do a few chores regularly) and that I help us save money even if it doesn't always show.  It's true.  And I'm really pretty happy with my lifestyle.  But sometimes I feel like a mooch, I feel guilty.  And this year we're going to need every extra penny (and we'll still be eating tons of spaghetti and hamburger - NOT looking forward to it! but gotta start somehow) and I just wish I could help more, really do my part to get us through it.

But I guess the truth is that he is the bread-winner and bacon bringer, and I am moral support and minutiae manager (checks deposited, meals planned, groceries bought, cats fed, so-and-so called...)

Which brings us full circle to me being a worrier :p