• wombat said on Jan 07, 2008....

  I wouldn't (didn't) do it.  However I know someone who did that, just to get out of child support.  Sounds like a messy situation with no winners, most namely the little one in question here.  I am sorry your family is going through this.

• phoeby said on Jan 07, 2008....

  it's unfathomable to me to imagine any situation where a parent would want to terminate their parental rights. My brain just doens't fathom how it's possible.
  
  
  I don't understand why he would want to. He's the father and one day when he heals himself in whatever ways he needs to, he might form some type of relationship with his son. Signing something doesn't mean he isn't a father. I do understand he hasn't been in the child's life all this time though. But can't the door be left open just in case he wants to form a relationship with him one day? Sorry if this sounds too simplistic...
  
  
  
  
  love phoeby

• hottips4u said on Jan 07, 2008....

  When a man climbs onto a woman and views her as a means to his gratification one can not expect anything less of him should he happen to leave a bundle behind.  Far to often are women the ones left behind to continue cleaning up after such an encounter even years afterward.

  Ones parental rights is something to be stripped of or handed over.  But thats assuming one ever considered themselves a parent from the onset, or simply a piece of ass with rights etched in stone. Tis the plight of Motherhood.

  Jessi.

• momsrock said on Jan 07, 2008....

  Wombat: I think I was more upset by the fact that he actually cared so little about him that he was willing to do it.... We have a bad history...I can't really explain how much I dislike him...but I can't imagine how my son would feel knowing I let him write him off... it just makes me sick...
   
  phoeby: I guess I don't understand how parents could do it... he's an elementary school teacher...he is around children the same age as his son every day...I just don't understand how he could be a teacher and not care for his own child...blows my mind. But you are right, why not leave the door open. I said no...as much as I despise him...would love to be rid of him forever...my son might want to meet him some day and he shouldn't have to track him down. At least this way, he has to update his address and employer with the courthouse for the next 11 years...
   
  Jessi: You're right..."assuming one ever considered themselves a parent from the onset"... I kept getting upset and trying to figure out his reasoning behind making this decision now after seven years and how cruel it is to do it now and frustrated that he wasn't seeing it that way...but he's never been a father...what difference does it make to him? I'll never understand his reasoning because I am a parent...and see things completely differently than he does.

• husbandhater said on Jan 07, 2008....

  I think this a very serious matter. Why so long when he was asked to do it before? I think if he doesn't want to be involved with the child and you are #1 IN AGREEMENT with this,#2 It is not a situation where you are in need of support from him and he is attempting to shierk his responsibilities,then by all means.
   
  But is anyone worried about how this might affect your son. He might think that he is unwanted by his father.This has a way of affecting children in the worst of ways especially young boys.

• momsrock said on Jan 07, 2008....

  HH: I just can't imagine how my son would feel knowing A) his father did it and B) that I let it happen. He can't give me a valid excuse for wanting to do something like this...something this big....that will change his life forever. He obviously cares nothing about this child...but I do...If his father doesn't want to be in his life fine...but I don't see how I can help him get out of it...it's just not fair to my son. I've always revised the support terms to exactly half...to the penny...right now it's bare minimum and several hundreds below the order...i put our son on my health insurance even though the court said it was his responsibility... he was responsible for the majority of medical bills...I paid them... he's gotten off so easy already...I can't help him write his son off more than he already has.  

• hotaka said on Jan 08, 2008....

  Your case sounds pretty bad. I mean, that guy won't relinquish his paternal rights even though he choses not to be a part of the kid's life. Then when the kid can finally talk to him as a young adult the guy doesn't want to be a father anymore. I can't see the logic.
  
  I hope I am never in a case where I am asked to give up my paternal rights. I have been watching the TV program Lost on DVD. There's a character Michael, who has a son Walt, with his wife. He's really excited about the baby. But soon after he is born, his wife takes a job in Amsterdam and she takes the boy with her, against her husband's protests. She meets a guy in Amsterdam and decides to divorce her husband and live with the guy she met. Of course Michael is torn up about all this but he is poor and can't do anything to stop it. Then she marries the guy and he wants to adopt Walt. In order for him to do so, Michael has to give up his paternal rights to Walt. Poor Michael has been through enough as it is and now he faces a court battle to retain his paternal rights to Walt, but he has no money and his wife and her new husband are well off. His wife's laywer asks Michael what Walt's favourite food is and what his first words were. Michael doesn't know because Walt was in Europe the whole time. How can he answer? His wife finally convinces him to give up his rights as Walt's father. She tells him that she can provide anything Walt needs whereas Michael can't for lack of money. If he wants the best for his son then he should give him up. It looked like a terribly frustrating situation to be in. I can see the mother's logic, but poor father had no say in anything that happened. She left for Europe. She chose to be with another guy. She chose to divorce Michael and marry the other guy. She told the other guy she wanted him to adopt Walt. The father Michael could do nothing. I can't see that these situations can pass without getting ugly.
  

• silverwhisper said on Jan 08, 2008....

  assuming that child support isn't an issue...i can imagine circumstances in which a person would waive parental rights, but not for any reasons that reflect well upon him or her.
  
  ed

• uniquely-ironic said on Jan 08, 2008....

  I think it's a mistake to waive parental rights if you care at all about your child.  Even if you are unable to support them financially you should retain the rights so that you still send the message that the child is NOT a mistake.  To try to waive his rights now is a very weird decision that I don't understand. 
   
  I might begin to understand if another man has raised him or if you were to remarry and wanted the entire family to have the same last name, but even then I am only marginally convinced it's the right thing to do.

• somethingunUSual said on Jan 08, 2008....

  How would you imagine yourself in the opposite position? As a really caring Dad (but a really lame husband = divorce) Mom is more interested in RESTRICTING my access, even to the extreme of moving 100 miles away to make Wednesdays nearly impossible. Parents, try as they might, can rarely put their KID ahead of their own FEELINGS. Especially when you believe that your FEELINGS are what should govern your actions.

• pickersplock said on Jan 08, 2008....

  That just sounds weird!
  I mean, it's a legal thing right?
  The guy would be giving up all legal rights to be involved in any decisions regarding your son, but that doesn't end the fact that he is still the boy's father!
  He can give up the right all he wants, but someday that boy is going to go to his father, and want some answers!

• davidstar said on Jan 08, 2008....

  Needs a lot of thought.

• lfbno7 said on Jan 08, 2008....

  I'd kind of like to terminate my parental rights every time the kids are being a pain in the ass. But I was unable to leave them because I loved them. So I think there should be a pain in the ass rule. You stay with the kids for ten years or so, til they become pre teens, or maybe teens, and then when they become a pain in the ass, you return them, get your money back. That goes for moms and dads, not just dads. There should be a place to return pain in the ass kids. Like a desk in the back of a department store. Just drop them off, no questions asked, and get a refund for all the money spent on diapers, mashed squash and apple sauce, X Men figures, and so on.

• hotaka said on Jan 08, 2008....

  Ifbno7 - you mean like a returns counter for defective products? "Yes, he was working fine as kid for the first 12 years with only minor glitches but then his programming seemed to have changed all of a sudden and now he doesn't work properly at all. Can I at least get a partial refund?"

• hottips4u said on Jan 09, 2008....

  Great idea...return, recycle, same thing.   Now what happens to all those returned?

  I know...Rent a Kid. All sizes available, All colors available.  You break it, you brought it. No Return Policy in Force. Refund ? lol lol lol lol lol........ 

  Jessi.

• momsrock said on Jan 09, 2008....

  Hotaka: I don't understand the logic either...I guess I won't get any answers because he only responds to an email if he's getting something out of it....Now that he has my answer....I doubt I'll hear from him for another year.
  
  I've never watched Lost but that situation I think is just wrong! I don't think this type of decision should be based on money or who the mother wants the father to be... I don't agree with that at all... But i know there are some people that think that way...
   
  Ed: I think that is actually the reason he didn't do it initially...how it would look for him... especially being an elementary school teacher...sad.
   
  u-i: I guess it would be different if he did care about him and just didn't want to pay support, I would take probably just stop the support. But, he is willing to give up his son forever for $150? Are you kidding?!  
   
  somethingunusual: I'm sorry...That's a crappy thing to do! I don't believe in normal situations that one parent has more rights than the other. Obviously there are some situations that they do...but if you are married and raising a child together for how long and then divorce....I don't think one should have more rights than the other. I don't agree with restricting visitation or moving away to make visitation more difficult and not as often. He's never had that relationship with our son. I don't  think he has seen him in 4 years...even though he had to drive by our house to get to his parents house...
   
  pickers: Yes...legal rights...i think he is confused and thinks it will also make him disappear...who knows...
   
  davidstar: yes it does...i just don't think either option is best for our son... sucks either way.
   
  Mr.7: Are you my father? lol... You sound and awful lot like him! :)
   
  hotaka:lol...probably by the time you made it through customer service the child would be 18 anyway...
   
  Jessi:I have a feeling all the ones being returned would wind up on my front steps just like all the cats in our neighborhood! Every time I go outside there are more random cats eating our cats food...and sleeping in our garage...

• crybabylu said on Jan 13, 2008....

  I knew someone who did that to her 16 yr. old daughter.  But, whenever she got into trouble with the law, they always called the parents anyway.  She still wasn't able to get her bills in her name or anything, so actually it didn't work.

• myexisaloser said on Apr 23, 2008....

  I have been trying to get my ex-husband to terminate his rights to my children since I left him almost 10 years ago. Finally I might have the grounds to get them done through the court system with out him.  He hasn't had any contact with my children in well over a year and the very little bit of child support pays for absolutely nothing.  I had to have his rights suspended 6 months ago because he was physically hurting one of my children and not having very good judgment of some of the people he was allowing to hang out at his house when my children where there or good judgment of some of the things he was doing in their presence.  My children have no wish to see him.  They have a step dad in their lives who has been there for almost 9 years.  Their step dad has done more than you could imagine for these children.  Am I wrong for wanting this? And, am I wrong for proceeding?

• armyman said on Jul 17, 2008....

  You can never terminate a parental rights for your children. I raise my 5 kids alone for more than 6 years now but I never ask their father to terminate his right to his children.

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