I hate how I have more than 70 contacts on myspace and more than 100 in my phonebook... yet I have no-one I can really talk to. I hate how I can be surrounded by people but I still feel alone.
I hate how stressed I feel by how quickly everything passes me by, I feel like I can't keep up anymore. I hate wanting to disappear sometimes. I hate how materialistic and shallow I can be. I hate how judgemental I am of people before I even get to know them. I hate that I let people get to me, hurt me and make me feel invisible
I hate how people never see what's right in front of them, they never realise things until it's too late. I hate how I'm the only one of my friends who has never had a boyfriend because I'm not confident enough. I hate the feeling I get that I might be alone forever.
I hate how some people can be so rich yet some so poor. I hate dreaming because I always imagine having someone to care about when I don't. I hate being such a hopeless romantic because I can never find someone sweet enough.
I hate how everyone around me has someone they really care about, and that they go on and on about how much they are in love when I'm all alone. I hate how they don't seem to consider how it makes me feel. I hate being humiliated after confiding in someone. I hate how guys don't look at me in that way. I hate being reminded that I'm the only one who doesn't have a partner. Sure, I'm happy for them but I hate them rubbing it in my face.
I hate how I often fight with people more than I get along with them. I hate that I'm afraid of being alone.
Emmy xx
foreveryoung posted on Jan 06, 2008
| views: 121
Comments
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gingersoul said on Jan 06, 2008....
Emmy......how old are you? You seem pretty young.....still in that turmoil that will lead you eventually to remember all these bad feelings and smile about them...
Its only temporary. Made these words as you mantra.
Nohing remains the same. Everything changes.
Dont think in terms of Forever.
You seem too young to think in this way......if its ever possible to think with a Forever ....i dont do it even now...:-)
It hurst reading your words because i used to write them too...one by one...
I hate only one thing: that i could have known then what i know now.
How happier i might have been...
Stick with your true yourslef and work with it......allow yourself to be hurt because its also thru pain (more than thru love) that you can really change.
Its sad but its also comforting....
Be silly, goofy and smile more often...
Even when there is no reason to smile........:-)
And who doesn't understand you....better leave them behind....
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foreveryoung said on Jan 06, 2008....
I'm nearly 15
But it seems the world is moving so fast now we end up dropping behind.
Everything changes so quickly and I can't keep up.
It just gets too much for me sometimes.
Emmy xx
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gingersoul said on Jan 06, 2008....
Emmy.....you are a deep, old soul...thats why you are feeling the movement of the Earth......It takes a deep soul to feel the vibrations..
Be happy and proud though...souls like yours suffer more but understand even more than others...
I was like you at your age.....you have to experience it by yourself...but i can tell you now....there is beauty even in these momenst so dark..they are shaping the beautiful soul you will grow to be....you are only at the beginning of your journey...
Its exciting.
Think about it.
Open the mind to the possibilities. What you can not see its the most essential.
Ciao.
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