Yesterday evening Tigger pulled his height chart off his wall; its been up for a long time and he knew not to pull it off, but he did. It was nothing expensive - just a paper Thomas the Tank Engine Wall Chart.
I came into the room and said "Did you pull that off your wall?" and he said "It wasn't me" and I said "Are you lying to me?" He stared at me with big eyes. I went down to his level and looked him in the eye and said in a stern voice, "Tigger, you must not lie to mommy". I said "You did two naughty things, you pulled the chart off the wall and you lied to mommy", and then in my anger I crumpled up the wall chart, which was not that badly damaged from being pulled off and threw it in the bin and the poor little fellow cried big crocodile tears.
I felt bad, for my childish behaviour. I felt bad for having been mean.
I came to him and held him in my arms and said "Sorry my boy for crumpling up your height chart, but I was angry with you". And he said "How am I going to measure myself now?" and I said that we would get another one and "When I was a little girl my daddy just use to put a ruler above my head and make a mark on the door frame with a pencil. Mommy didn't even have a height chart."
and you know what he said to that?
"But I did."
And me, the sad pitiful mother that I am crumpled up his height chart because I could not contol my anger. And even now as I am typing this the tears are in my eyes.
I walked from the train station to the office this morning and asked God to forgive me for my sin against my precious child.
