• Mamie said on Jan 01, 2008....

  Hi Quiet, I think a tiny diversion in attention is all you need. For instance...lets say you have a note pad in front of you...you do have a question and you raise your hand...whether you stand or not, take your pen and point it to your lifted pad of paper as if directing the person you are asking (and all your coworkers) to the tablet of paper where you have scrawled a few notes (mine are usually doodles)....automatically, people will look to where you are directing them to. That way, you are not forced to stare the person down with whom you are engaged, and further, none of your people are really looking at you.
  See if that works.
  Also if appropriate, I have diverted attention away from my self AND added in some time for quick thinking by walking around when I ask somehting big....getting up for a casual cup of coffee, filling the water pitcher, that kind of thing. The other people usually keep on doodling on their own...Good luck!

• quietone said on Jan 01, 2008....

  mamie ~ thanks those are good iedas about a diversion so to speak.  I get red before I even open my mouth or raise my hand!...in anticipation of the red I think. Oh, well..I will keep tryin;  thanks for your input!   :)  (maybe I should think pink instead of red) ha!!

• Twylarants said on Jan 01, 2008....

  I do what Mamie suggested and it works.  I have rosacea, so my face turns red easily although I'm not easily embarrassed. It gets red when I'm annoyed though, or when I'm very warm.  People have commented on it, "oh, your're blushing!"  No, believe me, it takes a lot to make me blush.  You could also try pretending the person you're speaking to is 7 years old.  That also works for me.
  

• quietone said on Jan 01, 2008....

  Twyla ~ oh that is also a good one...pretending to see someone other than who is there.. thanks.  :)

• mobil said on Jan 01, 2008....

  Ok, sure fire thing here Quiet; This only works if your asking the question to a guy.
   
  First say; Are you staring at my tits?........Then go right into the important question.
  This accomplishes two things, first no one will be looking at your face now, but at your tits and his face.
   
  The problem with this method is; it will probably make your important and actual question irrelivant.
   
  Good Luck !!

• silverwhisper said on Jan 01, 2008....

  you know, i sometimes have the same thing, quietone, and for me, it's all about self-confidence.
  
  ed

• wombat said on Jan 01, 2008....

  I remember being just like that in work meetings--I had something important to say but didn't want attention drawn to myself.  I would get sort of 'hyper" and excited and I imagine my face would be kind of red.  I know when I get that way, I get "splotches" sometimes.  Don't know if it is my blood pressure, or what.  But when I went to tech school, we were pushed into alot of public speaking.  I ended up enjoying it.  I guess it took repetition...after awhile, I liked seeing how well I could do!  I would look a few people in the eye--know what I was going to say ahead of time, and realized, who cares if I looked foolish anyway?  Just let yourself get kind of "angry."  Not really, but you know, practice making sure you are speaking loud enough and slightly ticked off enough to make sure they are listening!  What you have to say is important, too--and they put their pants on one leg at a time just like everybody else!

• skald said on Jan 01, 2008....

  Not exactly that but I have had the experience of a thumping heart when phoning a radio station about something that was on my mind. I do think the same thing is happening there. I also remmeber not being able to speak out loud. My dear there are more things and it is because I  am shy even though people don't think so and I think you are that way too. . 

• CreativeWoman said on Jan 01, 2008....

  Try subtly pinching your index finger when you feel the blush coming on.  As Mamie suggested, it might take your mind off it while you ask the question.  Or make light of it and say something like..."Is it just me, or is the temperature too warm in here?"  They might think your face is red because you are hot. 
  
  I hope you find a way around it.  :-)
  
  CW 

• crybabylu said on Jan 01, 2008....

  I never have had that problem.  I don't know why, because when I was younger, I felt shy at times, but I don't think I ever turned red.

• quietone said on Jan 02, 2008....

  mobil ~ LOL you are too much!! I am sure it would work, but I'd probably be fired!! good to see you back!  :)

  ed ~ I feel confident, I don't feel intimidated by athority.. but maybe somewhere down deep I am.  I just know I hate it!!

  wombat ~ I was kinda like this in high school, but not for long.  I think it may be the level of how well I know the person. 

  skald ~ I am kind of shy, yes.. that could be part of it too.  I thought I had grown out of all of this! 

  CW ~ that red face comes on before I even start talking...just the anticipation if it, and there it goes.... not all the time, but more than I'd like.  I will try the pinching thing.  with all these ideas, I may look foolish as I pinch my finger, imagine I am talking to a child, or ask if they are looking at "something else"!  If nothing else, it would all make me laugh~  thanks CW

  crybby ~ somehow, I can see that in you!  :)

• CreativeWoman said on Jan 02, 2008....

  Well, I'm not an expert on the situation.  I did blush some when I was younger.  I know when you feel your cheeks turn hot, it only makes the feeling worse.  :=)
  
  I was thinking that maybe you could sit down and make a list of the questions you have asked.  Then make a list of the resulting positive changes that came about because you stepped up.  Maybe if you focus on that, it may help to stop whatever subconscious thing is triggering the blushing reflex.  Tell yourself you can prove that you are making a difference.  :-)
  
  CW
  
  

• quietone said on Jan 02, 2008....

  CW ~ thanks for all your great ideas! I will try some of these...and if it doesn't work, maybe I will just stop asking questions.

• CreativeWoman said on Jan 02, 2008....

  quietone,
  Never stop asking questions.  I am a shy person too.  However, I am one that believes the worst answer you can get to any question is no.  On the other hand, what if they say yes?  Nothing will happen or be clarified if the question isn't asked. Nothing is wrong with a bit of red face.  I'm sure it isn't as bad as you perceive it to be. I'll bet your co-workers look up to you for asking the hard questions.  :-)
  
  CW
  .
  

• Twylarants said on Jan 02, 2008....

  I agree with CW about that, Quiet. I'll bet you'd be surprised how many of your co-workers are thinking "I'm glad she asked that."
  I think a lot of people are hesitant about calling attention to themselves in a gathering for fear of being the only person who doesn't quite get something.
  For whatever reason, I seem to be a beat behind when someone is explaining something to me. It used to bother me, but now I just say "bear with me a second, I want to make sure I understand what you're saying."  That puts the onus on the other person to clarify their statement. 
  

• quietone said on Jan 03, 2008....

  CW ~ yes they kinda come to me with the questions to ask...I have no quams asking the tough ones...putting them on the line or making them accountable, I do it in a professional way nothing mean.  but believe me...it takes about 2 hours for my face to go back to normal color and temp.  LOL
   
  Twyla ~ Oh, I am quite a few beats behind at times.  I think they can tell by the blank look on my face! thanks for your input.

• CreativeWoman said on Jan 03, 2008....

  quietone,
  It sounds like professionally that you are on the right track.  :-)  I wish I had a better suggestion for your blushing.  Keep up the good work.
  
  CW
  
  

• quietone said on Jan 03, 2008....

  CW ~ thanks! I will.

• Lauren04 said on Jun 18, 2008....

  i used to never get embarressed in fact i never even thought about it untill one time i guess i did and someone said something about my face getting really red! from that moment on i always thought about it and the more i thought about it the more it bothered me. i think i bring it apon myself because now i think about it so much the littlest thing make my face get red, this sounds crazy i know but it really bothers me and its like once i feel my face getting red it makes it worse cause i know people can see it and it gets worse! i dont know why. i found a way to help hide it though and help other people that have this problem well at least for the women lol! if you wear a pink blush then people dont know if your blushing or not because you already have pink cheeks lol at least thats how i make myself feel better. when i dont have my blush on i feel more volnerable because i know people will see if my face turns red its kinda like i'm hiding behind my blush but hey if it makes you feel better why not!

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