I really want to write all about the excellent Christmas I had this year. And I will write about that. Soon. But first, I do have to share something horribly tragic and sad, because it's just been weighing on my mind the entire holiday. I wish it wasn't. I wish that this never happened. But unfortunately, it did. And even if I tried really hard to push this aside so I could still have a nice Christmas, I really want to share this and get it off my chest.
Many of you probably remember my silly stories about the squirrel statue at work, right? Well the woman who loved to decorate up the front desk, and bought the squirrel that our cleaning man loves playing with, has died suddenly. I got the news Christmas Eve morning. It was definitely not the phone call I was expecting at all. She was only 45. She leaves behind her husband of 25 years, and two small kids. Her girls are only 5 and 8....
It all started last week when she came down with the cold that everyone around here had. I had it too. And you might remember me talking about my hypochondria and all of that. Well this story does not lend itself to comforting someone with my paranoia. She had a cold. No biggie. She took off a day of work on Thursday, but she was back Friday. And she said she was feeling better. She still had the sniffles, but she was happy and in good spirits and excited for Christmas.
When I left her that day, we wished each other a happy holiday and we'd talked about how excited her girls were going to be when Santa came. She had started her Christmas shopping in September and admittedly she went way overboard and spoiled these kids to the extreme. But they were her babies that she fought so hard to have. She never could have children. She adopted these girls and they were the light of her entire life.
Apparently Sunday morning she woke up feeling sicker than she had for a few days. But no one was really concerned about it. It was just a cold. She and her family went out shopping even. She was fine. She wasn't going to let a little cold stop her from finishing up her shopping or ruin the holiday. Then they came home so she could rest. Her husband left her there at the house so he could run up to the grocery store. He was gone for maybe 20 minutes. When he came home, he found her lying there unable to breathe.
He called 911, they rushed her to the hospital, and she died soon after. Just like that. No warning. And still no real explanation either. They think maybe she had pneumonia, even if she didn't feel that sick and had no fever. They're not sure. All they know is that her lungs filled up with fluid, she stopped getting oxygen, and then her body just gave out. All within moments.
I can't even begin to imagine what her husband is feeling right now. They were childhood sweethearts. Neither of them had ever been with anyone else in their entire life. And they were one of those couples who did everything together. Absolutely everything. We used to tease her about how close they were and say they'd never know what to do without each other. They wouldn't know how to get dressed in the morning without the other one laying out their clothes.
And now, he's alone. And he has two little girls to take care of by himself. And to have this happen right at Christmas, just kills me inside. There is never a good time to lose someone, but at Christmas? It wrenches my heart to think of what they've been going through.
If I'm this upset, I can't even imagine what they are feeling. She was a good friend of mine. I've known her for a long time, and we've worked together for about 4 years. We weren't the kind of friends who hung out together or anything. But for the last 4 years, I saw this woman every day. We talked every day. She was a constant presence in my life and the void is going to be huge.
Her wonderful sense of humor and her beautiful smile that greeted everyone at the door, is lost forever. I really can't fathom it. It doesn't seem real. And since this all happened over the holiday, I don't think it's really hit me yet. I don't go back to work until tomorrow. But when I do, and she's not there, and I see her empty desk.....and all her things.....and the happy squirrel.....it's going be really painful.
I know this is a sad story, and I wish I didn't have to tell it. But if I pretended my Christmas was perfect and free of any sadness, I wouldn't be doing her memory justice. She deserves to be remembered. But since Christmas was her most favorite time of year, I knew I had to let it go somewhat and still enjoy my holiday. That's what she would have wanted. She was so excited for me that this year, my life was in order. I wasn't alone anymore. And she wanted to know all about my first Christmas with Natalie and how special it was.
I hope she still knows it was special. And I hope she got to see her girls open all the gifts she'd excitedly gotten them months ago. And I hope that wherever she is now, she knows she's loved and missed. Because I will miss her....
-evil_twin LA
evil_twin posted on Dec 26, 2007
| views: 716
Comments
-
Mamie said on Dec 26, 2007....
oh man, this is a heart breaker. I am sorry for your loss of your friend. I can only think that God, in his infinite wisdom, knew that christmas time and its rewards in heaven...would be the perfect reward for all the goodness that your friend shared with her husband and thier girls. We will never comprehend the loss, you are right.But I do have faith that Gods Christmas party would now be complete with her in attendance...and even though she is gone from them and you physically, she is not gone at all and will be with the three of them as their lives go on. Love can do that.I believe that and I hope you can too. I am glad that you and Nat have each other to process this sadness. It will make each hug you share all the sweeter. It is a good reminder to us all to rejoice in each moment of love that we have here. Merry Christmas, K.love to you....M -
Sunshine_Mariah said on Dec 26, 2007....
*Hugs* I'm very sorry to have read about this tragic story...that unfortunately happened at what is supposed to be a happy time of year. My thoughts and prayers go out to you, and everyone else who knew her...and her family. I cannot even begin to put my thoughts into words as I too know what it is like to lose someone so close, so I can only imagine what those little girls are feeling. I offer my support and prayers to pass along to the family and other friends of what sounds like a wonderful lady. Best wishes. -
evil_twin said on Dec 26, 2007....
mamie--Thank you so much for your kind and beautiful words. I hope there is a Christmas party up there. I know she made the place brighter wherever she went. And I am trying to take comfort in knowing she's still around somewhere, watching over us. It definitely makes you remember that life is so fleeting and you can't take a single second of it for granted. I hugged everyone tighter this Christmas....
sunshine--She was a wonderful lady. And thank you for your kind words. I know her family can use all the prayers and good thoughts that anyone can give. Thank you so much.
-
uniquely-ironic said on Dec 26, 2007....
That is so incredibly sad. I struggle to find any goodness to come from this senseless premature death. I am so sorry you lost this friend, her family lost their mother and from the sound of it, the world lost a good soul. -
skald said on Dec 26, 2007....
I am so sorry Kyle.((((((Hugs))))) -
nursecutie said on Dec 26, 2007....
Oh sweetie.....I know how sad you are about this. I am too and I only met her once at the Christmas party. But it is very tragic and scary too. Sometimes these things do just happen without warning and there is nothing anyone can do. It does not make sense.
And I feel very sad and heartbroken for her family too. She was a very sweet person and I think the best anyone can do is just to remember her and her smile.
{{{{hugs}}}}
You know I am here for you......
xxoo natalie xxoo
-
allswell said on Dec 26, 2007....
Oh Kyle...my heart just dropped reading this, that is so sad. Her poor husband and those poor babys..my heart goes out to them. I'm so sorry you also lost a great person and friend and i can only imagine how hard it will be to return to work tomarrow without her....it will be a sad day.{{{Big Hugs}}} alls:) -
evil_twin said on Dec 26, 2007....
uniquely--I'm finding it hard to make sense of this too. I know everything happens for a reason. And when it's your time, it's your time. But right now, there just isn't any comfort in that. It's a huge loss for everyone who knew and loved her.
skald--Thank you so much.
cutie--I am so glad that I have you here for me. And believe me, knowing how quickly it can all end, makes me want to hold you even tighter. I will try and think about her smile and keep her happy memory alive. I love you....
alls--It will be a very sad day tomorrow. I'm dreading it. Thank you for your kind words. It was a huge loss for everyone.
-
travelr712 said on Dec 26, 2007....
kyle, i've already told you several times, but i wanted to tell you here, i'm sorry for your loss. -
polarheart said on Dec 26, 2007....
Twinny, it is a very sad story indeed and I feel for every person whose life is touched by the loss of this woman's life. It just makes me think again how fragile life actually is. . .and trust me I think about it a lot, but esp when reading things like this. I hope her husband will be strong enough to keep looking after the girls, perhaps they will pull him through.Blessings! Polar -
destinydiva said on Dec 26, 2007....
kyle, aaaww that is so sad... I am sorry to hear this, ((((((((((hugs))))))))))
xx
-
quietone said on Dec 26, 2007....
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend/coworker. Yes, it will be very hard to go back to work with her gone. {{{{hugs}}} But her spirit will be there always. She sounds like a very wondrful lady. I feel sad for her husband and children too. -
Twylarants said on Dec 26, 2007....
Such a terrible tragedy Kyle. That poor family, how will they cope?
You are a very tender hearted young man to feel such grief for them.
I'd heard on the news recently about a cold that suddenly becomes pneumonia and has taken lives, but you never think things like that will hit so close to home.
I'm so sorry for your loss and your sadness.
-
CreativeWoman said on Dec 26, 2007....
It's so sad, Kyle. I'm sorry for your loss. I know the sadness that family is feeling. I'll say a prayer for them.
CW
-
wakingharmony said on Dec 26, 2007....
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Kyle}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} How tragic! And You being the sensitive young man you are I wish I could hold you in my arms and Hug you....But I can't and I am sure that Nat will gladly hug you for me. Just remember the Picture sweetie Maybe it was really a miracle that I was able to post that picture "Smile from God" on Christmas day. I have never been able to get that picture thingy down....but I did and you saw `it! Maybe just maybe she sent it to you.....thru me... -
the_infernal_optimist said on Dec 26, 2007....
((massive Infernal hugs))
Oh, Kyle - that's heart-wrenching. :( It's such a wrongness when someone dies unexpectedly, but at Christmas?? That's like twice as bad because it doesn't seem like anything bad should be possible at the "most wonderful time of the year."
I'm so sorry you lost your friend. I'll keep you, her family, and the others who are grieving in my thoughts. You gave her a beautiful tribute here.
~Infernal
-
evil_twin said on Dec 26, 2007....
trav--Thank you for your sympathy and for listening to me talk about this other day when I first found out. I hated to share the bad news with anyone, but sometimes you just have to let it out.
polar--Life is very fragile, isn't it? I'm really glad that her husband has those girls to help keep him going. If he didn't have them, I'm not sure how he'd be able to cope. Thank you for your kind words.
destiny--Thank you for your sympathy.
quietone--It will be very hard tomorrow at work. It was just such a shock. I'm sad for everyone. Thank you so much for your kindness.
twyla--Thank you. It's really scary to think that a simple cold can actually turn fatal in the blink of an eye. I'm going to be really paranoid now. I feel so horrible for her family. I hope they're doing okay.
CW--Thank you for your kindness. I'm sure they'll appreciate the extra prayers.
waking--Yes, your smile from God picture really touched me. I know the picture wasn't new, but I just saw it at the moment I needed to see it. It really had special meaning for me. So it was perfect that you posted it when you did. Thank you for the hugs and your sepcal thoughts.
infernal--It is a horrible moment for this to happen isn't it? There is never an okay time to lose a loved one, but Christmas is supposed to be happy. Especially for kids. And now I just keep thinking that this is what they'll carry with them every holiday season from now on. It breaks my heart. Thank you for your kind words and the massive hugs.
-
Actorguy said on Dec 26, 2007....
Oh boy, Kyle, it doesn't get much worse than this. A sudden death, at Christmas, by a woman who had so much to live for is such a heart breaker. I am so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you and her family. My thoughts and prayers are with you all. -
GracefullyGrowing said on Dec 26, 2007....
My word. I'm so sorry to hear of this, and for your sadness.~Grace~ -
Mr_Box said on Dec 26, 2007....
I didn't really know her very well, but we had met and spoken several times. She was a real beautiful soul. Always smiling.
And every time I saw her all she could talk about was her girls. I can't even imagine the loss they're feeling right now.
I know that everyone has an expiration date and very rarely does it happen when we feel 'ready' for it. And even if we feel ready, those who love us can never be ready.
No one ever wants to say goodbye to someone they love. But I hope that her family will take comfort in knowing her spirit lives on.
She's watching over them now like an angel. Not as good as being here physically, but I hope they can find some peace in that.
I feel for you, man. I know you're hurting. And I offer my shoulder to you and her family.
-
momsrock said on Dec 26, 2007....
I can't even imagine what her husband and children are feeling right now...something so sudden...right before Christmas. I'm sorry, Kyle. -
wombat said on Dec 26, 2007....
I am sad to hear about your friend/co-worker passing. My thoughts go out to her family and all those who knew her. Death, even when it is expected to some degree is hard enough on those left behind. To have it happen suddenly like this is such a shock. I hope everyone at your place of work will remember her for the joy she brought into your lives--and the memory of her good nature will remain a part of your everyday life as a tribute to her.I -
fearing said on Dec 26, 2007....
E_T - Sorry I'm late - just got to SC Land. I want to offer my condolences again. I've been thinking of you and this woman's family. I am very, very sorry. -
PsychoDramaQueen said on Dec 26, 2007....
so so sorry. what an awful thing to happen. my thoughts are with you ET and with her family at this time. pdq -
crybabylu said on Dec 26, 2007....
That poor family. This is so disheartening, and I am sorry too that you lost a friend at work. Work is hard enough, to then loose someone who had such a positive influence on your work day. sympathy.........dee & JR -
pickersplock said on Dec 26, 2007....
The great wheel of life keeps turning no matter what, it doesn't even stop for Christmas. Sometimes, I wish it would just give us all a break every once in a while................................................................ -
wantingmore said on Dec 26, 2007....
Kyle...I cried as I read your post. What a tragedy, and I'm so sorry for the family's loss, and for your loss as well. Your beautiful words were a moving tribute to a wonderful person. -
evil_twin said on Dec 26, 2007....
actorguy--Thank you so much. It was a tragic thing to happen and I appreciate your thoughts and prayers for her family.
grace--Thank you. I appreciate your sympathy.
Mr. Box--You're so right that no one is ever ready to lose a loved one. Even if they've been sick and you know in your heart that they're ready to go, you still don't want to say goodbye. And when it happens like this with no warning, you don't even get the chance to say goodbye. That's the worst part. Thanks for being there for me, Jack.
moms--I know...it was horrible. Thank you for your thoughts.
wombat--Thank you. It is always worse when it's so sudden and unexpected. We will definitely do all we can to keep her memory alive.
fearing--Thank you. And thank you for listening to me about this before, because I really needed to tell someone. You're a good friend.
PDQ--Thank you so much.
crybaby--I appreciate your sympathy. It is very disheartening to lose a friend.
picker--I know you're right. Life and death stop for nothing.
wantingmore--Thank you so much for what you said. I'm sorry it made you cry though, but it is a very sad thing. I appreciate your thoughts.
-
fearing said on Dec 26, 2007....
Thanks E_T - you're a good friend too. I mean that. -
minniemouse said on Dec 26, 2007....
Kyle....not much more I can say that hasn't already been said....this hurt my heart to read and I am so sorry you are hurting. Things like this make me so sad, and also a little angry. It just doesn't make sense why things like this happen to good people....my thoughts are with you....along with big, giant {{{hugs}}} Lisa -
Lioness said on Dec 26, 2007....
I am sorry to hear about this sad news evil_twin, I hope her family and friends cope with the loss.. Sending my prayers your way.
-
silverwhisper said on Dec 27, 2007....
kyle, i'm sorry to hear this. no, there's no damned logic or reason to it sometimes, no question. i grieve for her family and hope this doesn't taint christmas for them in the future--but how could it not?
ed -
josay1103 said on Dec 27, 2007....
I feel sorry for the lost of your friend. I understand what you feel right now and I exactly can relate to it. Our assistant manager died Dec. 17, he is dear to me. He is the godfather of my son. Well, the thought that everyday we see each other in the office and our work made us in touch with each other, it makes me miss him. He is nice and workaholic. He died of lung cancer at age 55.
These situations are out of our control. Though we don't like this to happen but we have to accept it, God has a plan for each one of us.
-
phoeby said on Dec 27, 2007....
Hi Kyle, I'm really sorry about this loss and how it's affected you. I think it's so perfectly fine to express the sadness you feel and in so many ways very very healing. Her personality and energy sound larger than life and that makes it that much more difficult to imagine work life without her. Not to mention feeling for her kids and husband.My heart goes out to you and your family and the people you work with. And her family of course.My sympathies to everyone involved and to everyone who knew her.Phoeby -
EvilTwin said on Dec 27, 2007....
My deepest condolnces and sympathies to everyone; the family, friends, and everyone touched by that special person... -
blastfromthepast said on Dec 27, 2007....
I'm so sorry to hear the tragic news, Kyle! My heart goes out to the family of your friend. She was too young to die. Bless your heart for sharing this. -
evil_twin said on Dec 27, 2007....
fearing--Thank you :-)
minnie--Thank you. It doesn't make any sense does it? I appreciate your hugs.
lioness--I know her family will appreciate the prayers. Thank you.
silver--Unfortunately, like you said, I don't know how this couldn't taint their future holidays. It's such a sad thing. I appreciate your thoughts.
josay--I am sorry for the loss of your friend and co-worker as well. It's so difficult, especially at this time of year, to lose someone. There is a plan for everyone, but unfortunately sometimes it just doesn't seem fair.
phoeby--Thank for your sympathies. It is healing to be able to share this sadness, so I don't have to keep it bottled up inside. And I hope her family is able to cope with it too.
EvilTwin--Thank you so much for your condolences. I appreciate it.
blast--She was too young to die. And she had so much left to live for. Thank you for your sympathies.
-
Battycat said on Dec 27, 2007....
That's terrible, things like this always seem to happen at Christmas, I know it happens at all times, it just seems worse at Christmas. -
checkeredpast said on Dec 27, 2007....
Life is like an episode of the twilight zone where everything is going along fine and then one by one the familiar players disappear...and weird new ones pop up out of nowhere...all without rational explanation... -
kruuyai said on Dec 29, 2007....
Wow, e_t: It's hard to know what to say to a story like this. You can try to look for the meaning in it, like we always seem to do when someone dies, especially at an early age, but we just don't know. It just happens, and gives us a kick in the ass. Hopefully, it makes us appreciate the people we have in our lives, because we don't know how long we'll have them around to appreciate. -
eatmytaco said on Dec 29, 2007....
I am so sorry, yeah it's going to be hard on the little girls every Christmas thinking about their mom. This is going to be with them for the rest of their lives and it's not going to get easier. I am sorry that you had to go through this, but you're right. We can only imagine what her family is going through. Reminds me of my own sad Christmas story. You see, Christmas eve was my friend Evelyn's birthday. We were best friends, 24/7 always together. One day, while I was at soccer practice, she shot herself and died. I'm sure that her family never has a Christmas when they are not sad and wish she was still here. She would have only been 26 this Christmas. -
frontanack said on Dec 29, 2007....
sudden loss. What came to my mind as I read this was, how women give so much: every day. and how, we are so strong: we just ignore pains so much that something so small as a cold.. you don't even register the blip on the screen... and then, it seems so sudden when it all winds up into one big blow... and you just do not get back up.guardian angels: who else would we have but our own best loved ones: grand mothers, grandfathers, mothers, fathers, spouses... etc. and where else would anyone out of the body be? we are slow to change in life, and probably not much faster in afterlife, or so I think.My deep condolances to you, and especially to her husband and their two little girls. I have the feeling that the girls will be especially dear to this man, and give him reason to carry on. I know they will feel the pain with each small moment they have, and she will always be near to them through memory, if not in reality.my condolances to you and all the people who knew and loved her too. -
evil_twin said on Dec 29, 2007....
Thank you all for everything you've said here. I appreciate it all so much, but I admit I've been neglecting the comments a little only because I've been trying to put it out of my mind a little. But just as a small update, the funeral is this coming Wednesday.
And they still aren't sure exactly what happened to her, but it's been determined that her heart was beating irregularly and forced blood into her lungs, basically suffocating her. They still don't know WHY it happened. Her heart was healthy as far as everyone knew.
battycat--Thank you for your words.
checkeredpast--I guess life is like that sometimes. You never what's gonna happen next, or who might not be here anymore.
kruu--You do try to look for meaning when something like this happens. It's hard though, because usually the meaning isn't apparent for a very long time, if ever. But it does make you appreciate those who are still here. Enjoy every moment of life with the ones you love.
eatmytaco--I'm sorry about your friend. That's horrible. It hurts so much when someone dies suddenly, but it is her family who will carry this with them forever. Thank you for your kind words and for sharing your story.
frontanack--I hope she's an angel now looking over her family. I think she is. And I hope her family can feel that and take some sort of comfort in that knowledge. She will definitely be missed by everyone who knew and loved her.
-
wakingharmony said on Dec 29, 2007....
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Kyle}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} just stopping in to let you know I was thinking of you and your heart. -
rupert7 said on Dec 29, 2007....
This is so horrible - I can't think of anything to say that has not already been said. It is so terribly sad! Fills the stomach with knots and buts the biggest lump in the throat. -
queenparanoia said on Dec 30, 2007....
she will be on my prayers tonight kyle... this is so sad... -
evil_twin said on Dec 30, 2007....
waking--Thank you :-)
rupert--It does fill your stomach with knots doesn't it? It's very sad. But thank you for stopping by to read it. I appreciate it.
queen--Thank you. I know her family will appreciate the prayers....
-
crybabylu said on Dec 30, 2007....
It kind of reminds me of just how fragile this thing called "life" can be. hope you are doing all right. -
hotaka said on Jan 01, 2008....
Watching the news last week I heard a story about as bus of kids on a soccer team. One kid was playing with the back emergency door handle, which has a locking device set by the driver. It wasn't set and the boy fell out and was run over by the truck behind the bus.
On Dec. 31st a couple in their mid-fifties in a small quiet town were found dead with bleeding head wounds at the bottom of their stairs inside the house. Police are investigating. In Japan, New Year's is the big celebration.
My painter friend in Oregon, an 85 year-old woman who is in prime health lost her 88 year-old husband to a slight cold on December 7th. He was in good health and active as can be until a few days before. Then he caught a cold and three or four days later, he died.
In September, a woman I know lost her husband of 25 years, also to what started as a cold. Before that he had been fine and they had travelled to Morroco together in July.
Another friend of mine lost his cousin, who was still in his early 30s, to a motorcycle accident in November.
Actorguy lost someone he knew and admired back in October, I think it was, around Canadian Thanksgiving.
Death cares not for your age, how many people love you, or what holiday is coming up soon. Death is always tragic for someone. The more people left saddended by the death of someone is evidence that the deceased was loved by many. That's the only bright side I can find in this. My sympathies go to the husband and children of your friend, evilT. It is a really sad story for the family and friends of that woman.
-
Zayda said on Jan 03, 2008....
e-t: i missed, somehow, but i wanted to comment, however belatedly. i understand the shock of losing someone so young and so unexpectedly from what seemed like just a cold. in the summer of right as we were planning a high school reunion, one of my close friends went into the hospital on a friday morning for pneumonia and she died less than two days later. she had apparently contracted one of the most rare strains of pneumonia. she was 37.
i'm truly sorry for the loss of your friend and co-worker. i think somehow the shock of such an unexpected loss is magnified when it happens during the holiday season--a time that is supposed to be filled with joy, family, and friends.
Comment on "A Christmas tinged with sadness"
Related Posts:
SithBorg
posted 2 days ago
| views: 43
|
This stupid game is coming to an end. You will all die, and before you lies onlythe abyss of Nothingness. You know that when you die, Nothing lies beyond. Why deny the one thing we really see as truth?...... read entire post
sins4luv
posted 3 days ago
| views: 17
|
Holiday cards for soldiers, it just takes a minute of your time...... read entire post
diabolicdame
posted on Oct 24, 2008
| views: 72
|
.. but sometimes I tend to make decisions characterized by undue haste and lack of thought or deliberation.. what would you call that?... read entire post