I have no clue as to here to start. I do know that I will not be writing about specifics. I still have a level of respect for pickles privacy. Yes I still call her pickle and I probably always will.
This will be the third time in my life that I have been left by the one whom I thought was the perfect woman. I have always treated these women with respect and never lied in any way to them. When I loved them, I loved completely and without hesitation. It was always 100%. I gave my all to these ladies and have always been handed my heart back in shreds. It hurts especially from pickle. It was so sudden. we were talking ring sizes not a week ago and then bam, its over. Its devistating. Not only to my heart but to my self esteem.
Is there something wrong with me or have I done something wrong? All I want is a relationship that lasts and to have a life with someone who loves me for who I am and pickle did love me for who I am. Uhh.
I hate feeling sorry for myself, loath it more than anything else. maybe I try too hard and should just take it easy. I really don't know anymore. Things like this have become so alien to me.
I want to thank everyone again for their kind words and their general concern for well being. I will be back real soon.
genalonewolf posted on Dec 20, 2007
| views: 226
Comments
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Mamie said on Dec 20, 2007....
I was in love like that with the ending being the same exact thing...it was a few years back. I carried that sorrow like a treasure. It took me a long time to fall in love again, with the man to whom I am now married. We have been together for more than 20 years now. I am so glad that it happened because the man I married is my soul mate. The struggle made me into a much better spouse and a way better friend.After many years I realized that the person who had "dumped" me had actually opened my heart up further than it had ever been opened before. And then, IN AN ACT OF GREAT LOVE, left me so that I could do the only thing left to do: love myself first. Love myself more. Choose to be who I really am. What a gift from a kindred soul, a friend who suffered in the deal by losing someone great like me. Sort of mined like the gold in a fire...I BECAME. I wish the same for you. Steady yourself first and then take that first step. We are here for you. You can do this.all my best,mamie -
skald said on Dec 20, 2007....
It was not always going well for me too. I was heartbroken sometimes and then I realized that I always picked the same kind of a guy. I then found my husband who is a different kind of a person. I have known other people who have done the same as I, always been heartbroken by the same kind of a person. Maybe your answer is to find someone completely different. Anyway I am sorry that you are heartbroken and maybe you only want your pickle . I don't think you have done anything wrong. I think she had or even is wrong for you. I know you will feel better sometime but it takes time. (((((((Hugs)))))))) -
quietone said on Dec 21, 2007....
we all have been there a few times...mamie said it all. Love yourself..let go and go on..{{{hugs}}}
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crybabylu said on Dec 23, 2007....
First of all, realize it is going to take time to heal. Broken hearts take longer times to heal than broken bones.
What do you do while you are healing? I’d get out a pen and paper and start writing. Writing what? Anything and everything that you think and feel. Do it like a journal if you wish. First get it all out on paper, then organize your thought later on, as you are feeling less emotional.
Don’t over analyze you, her, or your situation. Analyzing isn’t real important in your first few stages of recovery.
Your feelings are.....dee