Last night was Jack's birthday party and it was a lot of fun. I wasn't feeling sick anymore, so I was able to enjoy myself a lot more than at the Christmas party. Plus, this was all very laid back and didn't require wearing good clothes to attend.
It wasn't exactly an enormous birthday bash, but it was big enough. And there were a lot of jokes made about how old Jack was, and how everything pretty much goes to shit after you turn 30. Of course, that's totally not true. At least it better not be since I'll be celebrating this birthday soon enough myself. But I remember when I was a kid, 30 really did seem old. And I know I thought that anyone who was that age, must be really mature and grown up and have a perfect idea about what life was all about.
That's a myth though. I don't think Jack is any different than he was at 20. Sure, some things are different. He's a parent now and he's married. But I doubt he's got his life figured out perfectly yet. Does anyone ever get to that point? I'm starting to think the answer is no. And if it's yes, then I've got a lot of learning to do in a year and half!
Anyway, we had fun last night. There was a lot of music and drinking and a ton of food. Jack's wife always says she's a horrible cook, but hors'dourves are her specialty. She can cook up a mean batch of frozen chicken wings. But she actually made stuff from scratch too. Like stuffed mushrooms and bacon wrapped water chestnuts. Yum. I didn't eat any dinner, but I certainly filled up on snacks.
Everyone made fun of me though when I was getting my food. Melanie set out these cheap plastic tongs to pick up the chicken wings. So I happily grabbed them up and attempted to get some chicken. But the tongs snapped in half under the crushing grasp of my mighty fist.
People laughed and I made a joke about being Superman. It was funny. Then she brings out a new set of tongs. I snapped those in half too. WTF? Am I really that strong? It was hilarious. Especially since when they snapped, pieces of them went shooting across the room.
After that, Melanie said I owed her $5 to pay for the destroyed plastic utensils. And she handed Natalie a set of salad tongs and told her that she was my official food grabber for the evening. I couldn't be trusted not to break stuff.
Eventually people started to drink a lot more than they were eating, and there was a lot of lame dancing going on. Jack is the king of that sort of thing. He jumped on the couch and did an interesting dance to Wild Thing by Ton Loc. That was a sight to see. But all the girls at the party loved it. People threw money at him.
So that's when I realized that being a dumbass is attractive to girls. So I had to join him. Not that we were trying to impress anyone but the girls we already had. But Melanie was laughing at Jack and telling him he was a sexy beast, so I wanted Natalie to say the same thing. I like attention. Who doesn't? Plus, I was a little drunk and it seemed the thing to do.
Of course, we got a little out of hand and Jack ended up falling over the back of the couch and almost crashed into the Christmas tree. That was my fault. I did something, and lost my balance and I fell over onto him. And then he just tipped right over and fell on his ass. That was hilarious. And then he threw a couch cushion at me, which I took as a declaration of war. And then a couch pillow attack was launched, and everyone joined in.
So this is how a mature 30 year old celebrates his birthday. With a pillow fight. No refined party with wine and cheese and talk about the state of our nation. This was a drunken pillow fight set to the Beastie Boys, Fight For Your Right To Party. To me, that's way more fun.
At one point, most of the women disappeared into the back of the house and we had no idea what they were doing. Maybe having a naked pillow fight in the comfort of the bedroom? We weren't sure, but we decided to check it out just in case. I mean, if they were doing that, we wanted to at least watch.
But when we opened up the bedroom door, they weren't naked. And there were no pillows being thrown. But they were rubbing lotion on themselves. Hmm. Very interesting. Sounds kind of kinky, huh? I guess it wasn't though. Turns out one of the girls, Sam, was having everyone test out a new product from her store. She owns a small shop that sells natural beauty products and clothes made out of nothing but natural fibers. She's a bit of a hippie.
And this lotion was some sort of new hemp body butter and she wanted everyone to try it out. Of course, my first question was, "does that smell like pot?" I mean, gross. Who wants to smell like pot? But Sam made a face at me and called me a dipshit. And she said it smelled good and not like pot smoke. And she explained how hemp oils were excellent for your skin.
Then she squirted some on my hands and made me try it. It wasn't half bad. My hands were very soft afterwards. And she showed me the label that urged people not to eat it because it didn't have any THC in it, so it wouldn't make you high. It would just make you barf because eating lotion isn't a good idea. Good to know. Because my first instinct was to eat it or dip a cigarette in it and toke it up. (I'm kidding.) But you know some stoner out there will try that. At least if they don't read the label.
Natalie liked the lotion a lot so I'm keeping that in mind. Not that I'm going to buy it or anything...because if I said I was buying it, it wouldn't be a surprise. So I'm definitely not getting that for anyone, okay? But it smelled good. And soft skin is always a plus. So maybe some other lucky girl from the party will be getting that in her stocking? Who knows?
All in all, we had an incredible blast at the party. It was a ton of fun and I hope Jack isn't too hungover today. And since today is his actual birthday, I'll just say happy birthday once more. And if you want to send him your own wishes, Gingersoul has set up a post just for him. She beat me to it!
Happy Birthday Mr. Box!!
-evil_twin LA
evil_twin posted on Dec 16, 2007
| views: 329
Comments
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destinydiva said on Dec 16, 2007....
lol, sounds like you had a fun party!
I''m glad being 30 doesnt mean you have to grow up :-)
(ps...{whispers} ..... my first instinct was to eat it or dip a cigarette in it and toke it up!! lol) -
Mr_Box said on Dec 16, 2007....
Thanks, dude. This was a fun read. My party was pretty awesome wasn't it? I don't think I could have asked for more.Nothing fancy. Just everyone I like in the same room. Along with some booze and music and food. Perfection.The pillow fight was cool. Who needs to be mature, right?Maybe when I turn 65 I'll feel grown up?Nah. I doubt it.I'm glad you had such a good time. And yes, being a dumbass makes chicks hot. It's a proven method of seduction. Not that we need any help there, right bro?PS: I'm a little tired but not hungover. I rock. -
momsrock said on Dec 16, 2007....
lmao... "under the crushing grasp of my mighty fist" you shouldn't say stuff like that when I have soda in my mouth...:) I know plan ahead...swallow before reading right?
You know, I remember when my mother turned 30 and I used to think about it the same way... but now that we're closing in on it...it really doesn't feel that different than turning 20...like you said. I have a feeling the 4-0 and 5-0 parties will be similar... but those tumbles off the couch might lead to a cracked hip...or two... ;) It sounds like you guys had a great time! I'm sure Natalie was not only turned on by your incredible strength but also by your coordination and quick as a cat reflexes during that pillow fight...lol
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evil_twin said on Dec 16, 2007....
destiny--You wanted to smoke or eat the hemp lotion?! You're funny. If you ever decide to try that, let me know how it works out for you :-P
Mr. Box--I had a great time last night. I hope my 30th birthday will be just as fun. I don't even want to think about turning 65 yet! That's scary. Will you cut your hair by that time? Or will you be the grandpa with the long flowing pony tail? That could be really comical. I'm glad you're not hungover. You're a drinking pro!
moms--Sorry I didn't put a warning on this that it wasn't safe to drink and read at the same time! :-P When we're old, we'll probably still have as much fun. But you're right, we gotta be careful we don't break a hip. That could be tragic. I'm pretty sure Natalie was very impressed with my tong destroying skills and my pillow fighting prowess!
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Mr_Box said on Dec 16, 2007....
Good question.Will I lose the long hair by the time I'm 65?I suppose it might be time to let it go by then. Unless I want to start braiding it and look like Willie Nelson.If I begin to go bald, I'll definitely have to cut it. And buy a lot of hats.I hope we can still have fun when we're old without breaking anything. -
gingersoul said on Dec 16, 2007....
Kyle.......damn........i would have loved to be there too....lol.......specially to watch you two brothers sexy dancing and almost crushing the Xmas tree....lol.....
This is my kind of fun...who wants to be a grown up at a b-day party?
Nat and Mel got really lucky after the party....a little bird told me.....LOL.......
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evil_twin said on Dec 16, 2007....
Mr. Box--Willie Nelson! Yeah, that's not a good look. I hope you don't go bald, because that means I probably will too. That'll suck.
ginger--You would have had a ton of fun too. It was all just immature craziness, because that's the best way to celebrate anything. And yes, I do believe our ladies got lucky later on. I know mine did! :-P She couldn't resist my sexy dance....
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travelr712 said on Dec 16, 2007....
will ya still need me, will ya still feed me, when i'm 64?sounds like a great party guys! and once again, happy bday mr box! -
nursecutie said on Dec 16, 2007....
Last night was soooo much fun! And you wrote about it perfectly :) Especially the part where you kept breaking the chicken wing tongs! LOL! Everyone else had used them with no problem. I am not sure what the heck you were doing with them!
The sexy dancing part was probably the funniest thing ever. You guys looked hot!! Silly.......but hot! Dumbasses are pretty sexy........I have no idea why but it works for me ;)
Hmmmm.......someone is getting the lotion but it's not me?? That's good b/c I didn't want it anyway........(get the one that smelled tropical b/c that was my favorite one!) LOL ;)
xxoo natalie xxoo
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travelr712 said on Dec 16, 2007....
so all these years and all i hadda do is act like a dumbass? why doesn't anybody tell me these things!?!?!?!? -
skald said on Dec 16, 2007....
Again I say happy birthday Box -
queenparanoia said on Dec 17, 2007....
hahahah i would have love to see mr box falling off the couch!!! kidding!!! well i'm glad you had fun!!! =) -
evil_twin said on Dec 17, 2007....
trav--I told you that singing and dancing gets them every time! Remember?
cutie--I'm glad you didn't want that lotion, because I didn't get that. (You liked the tropical one, right?) ;-) And I have no idea why I kept breaking those damn tongs! Maybe I just didn't like the way they looked at me? I'm glad you thought the sexy dancing was hot, because that's the only reason I did it!
skald--Thanks for stopping by :-)
queen--Him falling off the couch was definitely a funny sight!
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tizzygirl said on Dec 17, 2007....
I'm glad you were feeling better for the party, it sounds like you had a blast! Dancing on furniture huh? I love parties where that happens lol! and oh:
HAPPY LATE B-DAY BOXY
Do you think he heard me?
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evil_twin said on Dec 17, 2007....
tizzy--We did have a lot of fun Saturday night. Couch dancing is always a sign of a good time! -
travelr712 said on Dec 17, 2007....
why yes you did! but i thought it meant dancing like you're cool, not falling over a couch. that i can do! :-) -
allswell said on Dec 17, 2007....
IT sounds like a great party! I'm glad it turned out so good....
alls:)
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