Well...believe me...I would have ever thought to find myself in this situation.....
How would you react in finding yourself giving motherhood advices for your ex husband’s 3 y-o daughter?
The one he didn’t fathered with you, I forgot to say....the one he basically left you and your daughter for....the one he asked you to adopt at one point because he was feared her mother (his new wife) wouldn’t be able to raise her good....
I was talking at the phone with my daughter last day...
But she could barely listen my voice because in the background there was this screaming toddler (the one we are talking about...her blood-sister)....my daughter was trying to keep her quiet so we could talk...she was spending the week with her father family....
She was telling how much she was missing me...but that wild, screaming toddler was the only voice I could hear..
I told her “Tell your sister to use her indoor voice and be nice since you are talking at the phone”.
She told her so.
I heard the toddler saying distinctly: ‘No, you shut up”.
My daughter told me. “Mom, she told me to shut up”.
My daughter has never, ever told me so...not even when she was in her terrible 3’s....
I was seeing green......but I kept it cool.
“Tell her that this is not the way to talk and if she doesn’t speak nicely she has to leave your room’
My daughter told her so and the little monster replied: ‘No, you leave the room”.
The room was my daughter’s one, btw...
I asked my daughter where the toddler’s mother was.....she said she was out somewhere smoking...
Then she explained me that this was her sister normal behavior: screaming, talking back, stomping, having tantrum when said no, pushing and hitting people.
She was clearly frustrated by her.
I inhaled deeply and told her “Ok, evidently there is no one there telling your sister what to do and being consistent. She is having the terrible 3’s period”.
Evidently, no one ever cared to explain my daughter that toddlers pass thru these stages...
So I told her to look in her eyes and calmly but firmly tell her ‘This is not acceptable. You can’t talk to me in this way. If you want to play with me you have to be nice to me”.
This is the way I used to talk with my daughter
She told me “But she hits me. She is very aggressive and she goes thru my stuff”.
I felt so sorry for my daughter.....evidently the toddler’s mother is raising this new daughter in the same way she has been raising the first one who, btw, is deeply hated by my daughter and is a spoiled brat as well.
I am not surprised at all...the apple never falls too far from the tree..
I just couldn’t stop smirking though.....
I was remembering that my ex, soon after the divorce, told me that before meeting her he had always thought I was a wonderful mother, the best mother in the whole world.......but then he somehow “had” to downsize me because he changed his mind.....she was such a good mother too.....
So listening to my daughter I couldn’t help grinning...."There, you have it...idiot of an ex ...your so good mother is raising another spoiled brat.....
I hope they are screaming in your ears anytime you come back home, and they stretch your patience to the sky....then you will appreciate again what I did for our daughter"...
So I told my daughter: “Baby, treat her the way you think its right....you can help her to be nicer and well behaved....at least with you...i don’t know if it will work but after all its only a phase...she will not be 3 forever”....
I think my daughter appreciated my input.....at least, for her I am still the most wonderful mother of the whole world......:-)
