MY WIFE

• tommo said on Dec 09, 2007....

  Me i look back at my life and just think i was a meal Ticket for her

• secretlife said on Dec 09, 2007....

  i think, this is a sad story tommo. 
  but you have 2 children with her, and i know you realize the ties can never be completely broken because you are connected forever thru them.
   
  but
   
  yes but
   
  you need to move on and find a woman who will love you despite the material things. 
   
  reading back over this, it doesn't sound like your soon to be ex wife married you for the right reasons, nor would i expect her to make better choices in the future.  there seems to be a pattern for her, no?  the sad thing is, she is the mother of 5 children, and all of them will be influenced by her.
   
  i think, you can do better for yourself.

• tommo said on Dec 09, 2007....

  thank you yes your right her chidren are affected by her ,I still see her grown up children who now have children of there own i have a good relationship with them.
  and will continue to thank you

• gingersoul said on Dec 09, 2007....

  Tom.......coincidence.....my ex husband was in the Navy when we met...i have been for 9 years a Navy wife so i know how difficult can be that kind of life....those long months separated can put a stretch on a marriage....

  But i dodnt think thay have been the reason of your soon to be ex wife behavior......she seems to me as a pretty materialistic person....easy in getting rid of situation that migth not give her that level of comfort she requires...

  But i dont know her and i dont want to say anything that might hurt you ....

  You have to take a deep and long look at your past ...understanding the real reason of hers and your choices...and compare them.... 

  It will take some time before you wiil be able to accept them...i am still struggling with my ex and my own responsabilities...it takes always two to keep a marriage happy and strong....and its two years i am divorced now.......

  What you started here at Sc is a cleansing and healthy way to deal with your emotions...

  I wish you good luck in this journey....

• tommo said on Dec 09, 2007....

  gingersoul you are right I have started that journey its looking back that hurts I have now got the strenght to go forward and for once in my life do want I want to do. But i wanted to share my life with someone specail that might come come again. but it is the baggage you collect along the way I am still tied to wife through my children . WHO HAVE SUFFERED THROUGH THIS THANK YOU AND TAKE CARE YOU HAVE A GOOD SOUL

• CreativeWoman said on Dec 09, 2007....

  I also wish you good luck on your journey.
  
  CW
  

• gingersoul said on Dec 09, 2007....

  Tom...i too worry about the baggage that migth come along with a possible new relationship...and, naturally, i worry about how much of my baggage a possible new man could put up with....

  There are no easy guesses or easy answers.....what it might come it will up only to each of us to take it or not....

  It takes deep (or innocent) souls to love damaged souls ....

   

• Clair_de_Lune said on Dec 22, 2007....

  I would never judge your wife so harshly
  
  It's easy for strangers to talk sweetly who hve not walked in her shoes..
  
  Anyone can do this..
  
  It takes no special grace or decency..
  
  What God has joined together let no one separate
  
  It would be foolish, sinful, unfair and presumptive for anyone to judge you or your wife from this..not truly knwoin the context..
  
  This is not to judge anyone..
  
  Personally, I just don't think that approach is fair..
  
  So many Husbands and Wives DO reconcile..
  
  I would never dream of urging anyone to tamper there..
  
  One woman's Biblically based humble opinion..
  
  
  
  
  

• anonymous said on Dec 22, 2007....

  God hates divorce..I know it still happens..But the Bible actually says this..
  
  I understand it is not always a person's fault..
  

• Clair_de_Lune said on Dec 23, 2007....

  I wanted to come back and clarify what I said, because it occured to me it could be misunderstood.
  
  Despite what was written above, and it is clear this has been a very hard and difficult road for Tom, I stand by what I said, in regard to my belief that marriages are ordained by God, and that He can heal, and has brought back together, countless  relationships.
  
  It may not be promoted as much in what has largely become a culture very supportive of divorce and adultery. But this does not mean these things are right, nor that even the worst straits God can't step in and heal..
  
  Perhaps I preach to the chor on this in one sense, because I think most people who go through these, at least some, are unwitting victims who were not wishing for such an outcome. In any case, I understand it is a painful and excruciating thing
  
  I hope my words did not seem like a personal judgement on others here though.
  I realize this is a place where others like to communicate support and encouargement. And just because God may hate a thing, does not mean He hates the people stuck in bad situations..
  
  My apologies if my words seemed to point at any individual. In that way, I did not mean to speak out of turn..
  
  I still do believe that marriage and its union is in some ways a very special and private mystery, ordained by God..
  
  And that despite the culture's recent shunning of God's will and ways, and embracing of the carnal and secular, there is much to be said for a perspective which still holds as private and reverent things that He has brought together.
  
  I understanding airing of greivances and talking about them in a public forum isn't perse irreverent. But it is important to be reminded of these truths, if one is so bold to post and speak out on such things here.
  
  My prayers are with all who have suffered through these things. It must be very awful to bear. But God loves you and has a lovely plan for your  life, nonetheless..
  

• Clair_de_Lune said on Dec 23, 2007....

  I wanted to come back and clarify what I said, because it occured to me it could be misunderstood.
  
  Despite what was written above, and it is clear this has been a very hard and difficult road for Tom, I stand by what I said, in regard to my belief that marriages are ordained by God, and that He can heal, and has brought back together, countless  relationships.
  
  It may not be promoted as much in what has largely become a culture very supportive of divorce and adultery. But this does not mean these things are right, nor that even the worst straits God can't step in and heal..
  
  Perhaps I preach to the choir on this in one sense, because I think most people who go through these, at least some, are unwitting victims who were not wishing for such an outcome. In any case, I understand it is a painful and excruciating thing
  
  I hope my words did not seem like a personal judgement on others here though.
  I realize this is a place where others like to communicate support and encouargement. And just because God may hate a thing, does not mean He hates the people stuck in bad situations..
  
  My apologies if my words seemed to point at any individual. In that way, I did not mean to speak out of turn..
  
  I still do believe that marriage and its union is in some ways a very special and private mystery, ordained by God..
  
  And that despite the culture's recent shunning of God's will and ways, and embracing of the carnal and secular, there is much to be said for a perspective which still holds as private and reverent things that He has brought together.
  
  I understanding airing of greivances and talking about them in a public forum isn't perse irreverent. But it is important to be reminded of these truths, if one is so bold to post and speak out on such things here.
  
  My prayers are with all who have suffered through these things. It must be very awful to bear. But God loves you and has a lovely plan for your  life, nonetheless..
  

• Clair_de_Lune said on Dec 23, 2007....

  ..Provided we are wanting to do things His way..

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