• hypntized said on Dec 05, 2007....

  lampshade i too live in a small town and i know how difficult  it can be to meet someone.  Small towns are great places to live but absolutely terrible if u are alone and looking to find someone.   You have to keep the faith and know that there is someone out there that is perfect for you.  as far as good places to meet someone goes, anywhere is a possiblility, you just have to be willing to put urself out there and take a chance.   Go out for some drinks go shopping at wal mart, try online, but u cant be afraid to be shot down and u cant be afraid to open urself up and let people know who u are.  I cant say that im the best person to give advice on this subject being a shy midwest guy, and not always being able to approach people.  You just have to take a chance and not think about being shot down or anything else that could happen.  be confident in urself and if it doesnt happen dont let it shake ur nerves it just wasnt meant to be.  take a risk and be confident in who u are and know that u will make someone a very lucky person someday

• lampshade said on Dec 05, 2007....

  Thanks...I really do need to just put myself out there.  I can be a confident person but when it comes to dating I am out of my comfort zone and I quickly find myself in situations where I don't know what to do or say.  I guess I just need some experience at failing.

• anonymous said on Dec 05, 2007....

  what abuot the m&m gal you speak of???????

• hypntized said on Dec 05, 2007....

  just be urself and if that doesnt work then it wouldnt work ne how.  dont look at it as failing either, they are just learning experiences.  if you try u can never fail, u only fail whenu dont try.  good luck

• wombat said on Dec 05, 2007....

  I bet there's some lucky lady out there who will be very happy when she meets you.  I learned from experience that bar pick-ups weren't so good for me as a female, but then--that is where the ladies are going hoping to meet "a nice guy."

• lalalalalala said on Dec 06, 2007....

  i'd get out and do anything! you need to find some activites and interests. there's bound to be something. ultimately, you're in charge of your life and it's all on you to make it what you want it to be, so good luck.

• lampshade said on Dec 06, 2007....

  wombat:  hope so!  Maybe I'm weird but I never go to bars.  I really don't drink much so they're a little boring for me.
  
  la x6:  Sounds easy but I haven't been able to find anything in 4 years.  I know what I need to do, I just have a hard time doing it.
  

• quietone said on Dec 06, 2007....

  I know the feeling lampshade and I am way older than you.  As I was told the other day...go find a group that you have common intrest in...like the arts of some sort maybe?  find a church to go to and join -meet members. Join a gym..go to the library if you are a more quiet person.  You have to put yourself out there...cause like me...a slim to none chance that someone is going to come knocking on your door and say  hi wann go have fun?  good luck lamshade...there are lots of people in the same boat...we just have to find them.

• anonymous said on Dec 06, 2007....

  no reply for me?????

• lalalalalala said on Dec 06, 2007....

  lampshade, i hope you are able to get yourself out there. might i suggest kickboxing or some sort of physical activity class?

• lampshade said on Dec 06, 2007....

  quietone:  I'm tryin here.  I've got a few ideas about musical things in my area.  Churches scare me and I just quit my gym because it was too far away after I moved.  Library isn't bad, I have no clue where my town's even is.  Maybe I should find it.  Staying inside isn't going to get me anywhere
  
  anon:  didn't mean to ignore you.  m&m gal is a really good friend on here, but thats all.
  

• lampshade said on Dec 06, 2007....

  lalalalalalalalalala:  Not a bad idea.  The are I live in seems pretty dead as far as activities go, but I'll look for something like that.  I do enjoy physical activities.  If I can get in good enough shape, I'd play frisbee in the summers with the local frisbee club.

• dyingman said on Dec 06, 2007....

  Get online, dude.  You need statistics.  Not just women in yoru lil' town.  Women nearby.
  Apply to multiple sites.  Try craigslist.org and plentyoffish.com since they're free.
  This gets you in touch with ladies
  a) who are close
  b)  are interested in meeting someone.
  
  If you go to a library, you meet ladies who came to read.
  Go to a gym, you meet ladies who came in to work out and are quite frankly in a hurry.
  Go to a store, you meet ladies who came to shop and asking themselves who's the desperate loser trying to pick me up here?
  
  I met my wife's best friend online.  We didn't match up but she introduced me to her buddy.  That's gone well for 12 years so far.
  
  Next tip, if you decide to pick someone up online or, for that matter, at a gym, bar, library, store, coffee joint, etc...  Aim low.
  
  You're in a small town and you can't afford to be choosy by looking for only a future wife / supermodel.  When you're lonely you give off loser vibes.  You can't help it.  It's a man's nature.  Married men cheat because they've got the confidence to attract a mistress who should be finding a single guy like you.  Problem is, you're unattractive because you don't think you have much to offer.  Like I say, it's part of being male.
  
  Shooting low gives you a couple of edges. 
  1)  If she dumps you, or you don't hit it off, the crushing blow isn't. 
  2)  "Flawed" women are so unappreciated,  they can't be choosy either.  They'll hang out with you even if the sparks don't fly.  (This only works if you are respectful and appreciative of their time, always.  You aren't doing them a favor by dating them.  Arrogance sucks.)
  
  These two advantages give you what you need.  Practice and confidence.  You have someone.  You can then find yourself just looking for the right match.  You're not looking for just ANYONE.  You are no longer desperate.  Dating lower than you think you deserve can produce two other bonuses.  You appreciate things in the ladies you might have missed if you were distracted by beauty.  You may find a greater tolerance for these "flaws" than you thought you had.
  
  Given time, you'll find yourself surrounded by gorgeous women with ONE thing "wrong" with them,   One would be a knockout is her nose weren't crooked; the bookworm would be a hottie if she'd eat enough to grow breasts; the love goddess carrying 50 pounds more than the AMA says is ideal will give birth to YOUR stunning children because shallow men couldn't see past the double chin.
  
  Even if you can't grow to appreciate these women for qualities more lasting than their beauty, the personality of these women and the supermodels has substantial overlap.  I'm not saying, "Met one, met em all." but you'll see certain themes popping up repeatedly.
  
  Last tip:  if you fall for one of the "flawed" women.  (Congratulations, BTW) Give up any fantasies you have of her changing for you.  She comes as a package.  Love her as is.  This is not negotiable.  Girls grow up hearing their daddies tell them how wonderful they are and they should never settle for someone unworthy.  Failing to love the flaws makes them less lucky than they could be with you.  You're no prize either.  Part of what makes someone great is they put up with the worst of you and love you anyway.  Don't expect to get by without offering that vital component to your relationships.
  
  Oh,.. one more thing.  You'll need this one.  ALWAYS safe sex. 
  
  

• destinydiva said on Dec 06, 2007....

  its good that you have found this place useful in getting things off your chest, and have managed to move on :-)
  I am feeling like you are right now, there is only so long being single is any fun for! maybe you should take up something you wouldnt normally do? start a dance class??  they are always short of men ...your chances are high!!  :-)
  
  or maybe go and do some voulounteer work? I bet the perfect girl for you is waiting somewhere where you would least expect to find her :-)
  xx
  

• lalalalalala said on Dec 06, 2007....

  lampshade-Great! I hope that works out for you!

• desertsienna2 said on Dec 08, 2007....

  A change of pace may help. I've applied for two temp jobs and will go into the agency for temp work on Monday though normally I work several jobs.  I need the cash.  I am leaving a position as it bores me to no end and there is a crazy sociopathic lunatic working there who should be locked up.  I plan on reporting her to mental health, the labour board and through Crimestoppers.  She is insane.  I have little sympathy anymore.  I plan on moving. I found a great job at a resort on Vancouver Island is a really beautiful location full of scenery, artists, musicians, surfing, etc.  Great for photography and painting, poetry, walks, bike rides, hikes, camping, campfires, boating, scuba diving, swimming, deep sea fishing, yachting, surfing and the great rugged lifestyle of the beautiful Vancouver Islands.  I hope I get it.

• tommo said on Dec 09, 2007....

  you must go shopping that is the best place to meet new people look for what takes your fancy then be brave enough to engage them in conversation and have fun Love will come when it is ready for you so do not rush Take care tomo

• sexspel said on Mar 06, 2009....

  www.sextoysonline.se - billiga sexleksaker, sexiga underkläder och presenter. snabba och diskreta leveranser från eget lager.

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