• skald said on Dec 05, 2007....

  No you are not too choosy and it has always been so difficult to find a right partner. At least I think so. It is no fun going on dates with people you don't find interesting and where does one find the right people. at least not in bars and at dances I think lol. Good luck and when you will not be looking you will find someone you like. My granny had a saying but it sounds so silly in English it is something like that it does not take long for the man to come to the woman. Meaning things like that happen suddenly. 

• uniquely-ironic said on Dec 05, 2007....

  Been there. Done that.  I seriously considered becoming a lesbian when I was going through the dating routine after my divorce.  Hell, I'd have even considered becoming a nun except for all the religious crap.
   
  Maybe it's time to take a breather from dating.  Do things with friends and make friends with adult toys ;)  When the right one comes along it will happen.

• beyondtheveil said on Dec 05, 2007....

  des- I believe that through dating guys, if you listen to everything that's said and watch every action, a prick will eventually let himself be known to you. You just have to catch the little nuances. And unique is definitely right, never shop around and look for one, let them happen. 

• crybabylu said on Dec 05, 2007....

  I thought about being a nun once.  Couldn't though, because I like men too much.

  I thought about being a lesbian.  Couldn't though, because I like men too much.

  C'mon now girls...you know that there just isn't anything, quite like a man!

  I say, keep kissing the toads till you find your prince!

• moyz said on Dec 05, 2007....

  I dont know how being nun works...I'd rather you hang in there...remember no sex when you are a nun...now what fun is that? lol...just teasing...but I say hang in there...a prince is on his way...((hugs and warm wishes))

• blastfromthepast said on Dec 05, 2007....

  Nothing like jumping from the frying pan into the fire!  Why don't you just stop looking?  That's usually when someone 'interesting' shows up in your life.
   
  I think the reason that you find the same kinds of men over again is because that's the type of person you are thinking about.  You know, "I DON'T want to find another dud."  Well, what are you thinking about?  Not finding another dud.  Try saying to yourself, "I want to meet my soulmate."  It's worked for me!
   
  Good Luck!

• Mamie said on Dec 05, 2007....

  the only magic potion for this is to stop trying so hard and let love find you...patience...it is hard to do, but just focus on you and your kids and give the love that you have opening to help and serve others and voila! you are all at once, madly in love and live happily ever after!

• cntlvmenuf said on Dec 05, 2007....

  des.....there is absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting to settle for less.....I should know, I went against my better judgement and dated some guys that were not up to par with my expectations...coz I thought may be I was being too picky....but hey...a flag is a flag.
   
  I think a break would be a good idea....rediscover yourself and know that you are complete as you are!!!....and yes...I think as blastfromthepast said, concentrate on who you want....not what you dont want!!!....(Right now I want this sexy, eye candy of a guy on this TV show am watching.....hmmm...the possibilities!!!)....But I know how you are feeling....am dealing with the same issue right now. I think the only way to solve issue is to work thru them.....no short cuts, no magic wands.

• Twylarants said on Dec 05, 2007....

  Now Desdimona, just how many men do you think you're gonna find in that convent?
  I'm thinking...oh...maybe........none!
  Stop looking, that's when he'll appear...the minute you stop seeking the perfect guy he shows up.  Everybody knows that.  He's out there somewhere just waiting for you to get tired of kissing frogs.  Blecch!  Frog lips...ptooeeey! 
  
  

• destinydiva said on Dec 05, 2007....

  skald~ thank you, I hope you are right :-)  there is a saying my nanna used to say which is similar, is that love hits you when you least expect it....   'it doesnt take long for a man to come to the woman' ~its taking ages!!  lol....I dont even have a lack of men at the minute...there seems to be an abundance of them, just lack of the right man!!  I am patiently waiting and officially not searching as of right now :-)   xx
  
  lol unique! ..aww you are so lucky to be settled again :-) uhhh...I thought my days of dodgy dates was over when I got married!  its so much harder too this time round. :-) I was excited actually when we seperated at the prospect of dating again...but a zillion bad dates later I am fed up of it!!  I couldnt do the lesbian or nun thing I like men too much :-) so I'm going with taking a break for awhile....I have built up a whole new circle of freinds through my dating, so at least there is some positive to take from it :-) xx
  ps....  I am already very good friends with my adult toys ;-)  he he
  
  beyond~ thank you for your advice, I am defo quitting shopping for them and just waiting patiently...(ish)  he he :-)  you know even some of my really dodgy dates, I have learnt something from... I seem to have been addicted to meeting new people lately, as someone once said to me here.....I am increasing the flow of people in my life !! cept I think nows a good time to nurture those already in my life and stop searching ...and hopefully...  :-) xx
  
  crybaby~ lol..ditto!!!   I like men way too much to give them up all together! just taking a breather :-) xx
  
  moyz~ aaw thank you for hugs and warm wishes :-)  and lol your right...I couldnt be a nun!!  or a lesbian!! :-) imagine giving up sex .....forever!!!  uhhhh....  :-) xx
  
  blastfromthepast~ yeah I think becoming a lesbian nun was a bit extreme...I am gonna just take a breather lol :-)
  that is a very very good point that you make, I am sooo  guilty of thinking this is what I dont want....  to the point of being obsessed!!  lol (not that extreme) maybe I still need time to get over my marriage anyways..I have been reading up on all that type of thinking (abriham hicks? and the secret and law of attraction etc..)  I just never realized I was doing it in this area of my life! thanks so much for pointing it out...I am changing my thoughts right this second.....  i do want..... I do want.... I do want....   :-)  thanks blast, really appreciate your comment :-) xx
  
  
  mamie~ lol :-)  I hope so....  voila..I like that...   :-)  I know your totally right, I need to be patient...here is the new patient me!!  :-) thanks for your comment :-) xx
  
  cntluvmeenuf~ lol about tv guy!!  :-) I am defo taking note of blasts 'what I do want, not what I dont want' plan...  maybe that has been my issue....  I have been totally wrapped up in what I dont want...  thanks for understanding :-) and I am glad you dont think I am being too fussy, that has been worrying me that maybe I will never be satisfied? like one of the guys I only went out once with ... he worked on the radio,(my ex was a radio presenter)  and I saw hints of that 'so up my own assness' that my husband had... but I never really gave him a chance...I went in to it thinking uhh radio presenter...not again....  shit I have a load of issues I need to deal with havnt I !!  no wonder there is no sign of love in my life just yet! :-)
  thanks for commenting :-) xx
  
  thank you everyone for your comments, they are really appreciated, I feel so much better about the whole thing after reading through these comments, my thinking has totally changed! (for the better)  thank you xx
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

• destinydiva said on Dec 05, 2007....

  wow it has taken me 29 minutes to reply to everyone! :-) cus tw your comment wasnt there when I started replying :-)
  well I have officially stopped searching now, and I am tired of kissing frogs!!  so maybe he is just around the corner???   :-)  xx
  
  

• vacantmind said on Dec 05, 2007....

  First, I want to say that if you really want to be a Lesbian Nun go for it. I think it could be kinda hot! LOL

  Seriously though, I don't think you are being too picky. Maybe going on a second date with a guy that you just find okay wouldn't be bad though. Sometimes nerves keep a guy from just letting loose. They made need some time to feel comfortable.

• destinydiva said on Dec 05, 2007....

  lol vacant! I went off the idea off being a lesbian nun about 3 minutes after I considered it as an option!!  lol ( I really did consider it!! ) :-)
  I think your right about a second date with ok guys, I already arranged my second date with the radio guy ! If I still pick up signs of my ex in him after 2 dates I am quitting tho and going back to the lesbian nun idea ok??  lol  he he ;-) xx
  

• pickersplock said on Dec 05, 2007....

  Okay, try this for a while and see if it helps. Stop looking for the love of your life and just concentrate on having fun and meeting nice people. Try really really really really really really reeeeeeaaaaaaaallllly hard to leave romance out of it. If you go through withdrawal, you can always pick up a few Barbara Cartland books or something. I usually find that I find things when I stop looking for them.

• Racerboy said on Dec 05, 2007....

  Look at it this way, at least can get a date?  I had 2 dates in the 2 years since my divorce.  Both set ups, and within the first 3 months.  Both ended badly.  One said it wasn't going to work within 5 minutes.  At least she was honest.  The second excused herself to go to the bathroom and then bailed, after ordering dinner.  Still haven't had a "date" since.  But that is Ok.  Even lesbian nuns get more than middle aged guys!

• evil_twin said on Dec 05, 2007....

  I've heard a lot of women making claims like that! But I think you'd be totally bored being a nun. Being a lesbian might be fun sometimes. But if you were a nun, you wouldn't really get to enjoy the benefits of that lifestyle. So you're probably better off just being you :-P
  
  For now, just have fun. And if you meet the right person, you'll know. Patience :-)
  
  -evil_twin LA
  

• destinydiva said on Dec 05, 2007....

  pickers....hiya :-)   I am trying...and romantic novels depress me!!!  uhh!! I usually love romantic novels!!! think I am just pissed with love right now? I am trying to stop looking, and my dating mission, was initially just to meet new people make new friends ..and I am acheiving that, but am starting to want more....   but as of today I have stopped looking...  (well I might peek but shh dont tell anyone ok? ) lol :-) thanks for your comment :-) xx
  
  racerboy~ howdi!  and lol :-)
   aw believe me..its all about quality not quantity!!!   :-)  I just got 4 dates in 2 weeks cus I did speed dating a few weeks ago..    (highly recommended!!  :-)  I'm not that popular normally! :-) xx
  
  evil~ hello :-) being a nun would drive me crazy....besides I am not even religious!!  lol  I just like sound of music!!  ..I would be maria and end up being sent off and falling in love with my boss!!   ooh now see? being a nun might not be so bad after all? :-)  (its a true story!!  )
  :-) xx
  
  

• Racerboy said on Dec 05, 2007....

  Des, Tried to do the speed dating thing and was turned down by the service.  Seems there are too many of us old farts and not enough women, so they cull out a good number of us.

• destinydiva said on Dec 05, 2007....

   where are you from?  I only ask cus when we were on the internet first checking speed dating out, we ended up going to the 2nd choice venue cus there was to many women at the first! :-) xx
  (maybe you should give it another shot?)
  

• Racerboy said on Dec 05, 2007....

  I'm from SD, where men are men and sheep are scared!

• harriedpsychmajor said on Dec 05, 2007....

  Perhaps I can help, as I too have gone through all this. My most recent blog is also a rant on how things aren't quite going my way. But I can offer some tidbits I've learned while in the dating circuit.
  
  -There's nothing wrong with heeding a warning. If you see a red flag pop up, don't ignore it until you're sure it's not as bad as it first appears.
  
  -First impressions, despite what many people say, are very bad barometers for someone's "real" personality. The problem is that many try really hard to make an impression, so they stray from their core personality traits to gain your attention. That doesn't mean they're phony, it's just human nature.
  
  -The harder you work at it, the worse it appears. Dating is supposed to be fun, not a chore. Sit back and relax.
  
  Yes, I draw this from personal experience, but I do hope this helps. Best of luck to you, and don't give up!
  

• skald said on Dec 05, 2007....

  Oh  I know so well what you mean by not having a lack of men, having  abundance of them, lacking the right one. It happened to me too once up on a time.Therefore I understand this sooo well. ((((Hugs))))) And mine came too when I was not searching. Your nans saying is like my nans. 

• Kirkla said on Dec 05, 2007....

  For some reason I've always assumed that most nuns were lesbians. Hmmm. I wonder why I assumed that?

• lfbno7 said on Dec 05, 2007....

  How do you feel about titties? I for one like them.

• wakingharmony said on Dec 05, 2007....

  you have to kiss a few toads as well as  frogs and a few a** holes but it will happen when you least expect it. just enjoy the ride.. you wont be single forever and you dont want to say "Gosh I should have ejoyed my single days!'   "Yourt Prince Will CoMe!

• StoneMaster said on Dec 05, 2007....

  Kirkla! I thought all lesbians were nuns!!!!!

• CreativeWoman said on Dec 05, 2007....

  I think when you give up is when it finds you.  So, look out.  Love may be circling toward you.  :-)
  
  CW
  

• rmuxagirl said on Dec 05, 2007....

  Hahaha lesbian nun, I was on the verge of being a pentecostal nun...
  
  And like creative said it's one you give up that it will find you.  I'm still wondering if I have a prince or a frog, only time will tell is guess.
  
  But I don't think you are being too picky either.  I mean you know what you want and you shouldn't settle for less than that.
  

• Barefoot_Salsa said on Dec 05, 2007....

  yeah the fun is a definite must have for a guy.  I completely agree leave the romance out at first.  If a guy is fun and funny everything else will kind of fall into place.  You get frogs to kiss.  I usually get the married dads hitting on me that are there picking up there kids from my dance studio. That try the lines that are as smooth as crunchy peanut butter.  EEEk!!!

• PassionTraveler said on Dec 05, 2007....

  CAN I JOIN YOU? and what about those finding love spells? MMI? I'm game for one of those too! Do the spells work? I write prayer spells all the time, but never accompany them with any sort of a ritual. Maybe that's why they don't work.
  
  PT
  

• Yaboyndot said on Dec 05, 2007....

  Don't let them do that to you. I have had those streaks and it sucks but just sit back, take a deep breath and start again, SLOWLY

• wombat said on Dec 05, 2007....

  Been working and missing good posts like this one, darn it!
   
  I know how hard it is to find that "right" one.  Believe me, I looked through alot of bad apples before I found the good one at the bottom...ha.
   
  It's nice that you have someone in your life that you are comfortable with.  Really--that is my "guage" of who is the right one---when you can pee in front of them....ha...
   
  Are there lesbian nuns?  I hope they don't make a habit of it.....ha.    (I know, bad joke!)

• Lioness said on Dec 05, 2007....

  I am not convinced. I sincerely doubt if Pete would let you do that! ;)

• nursecutie said on Dec 05, 2007....

  Oh I spent lots of years wanting to be a nun or a lesbian. But I don't think you can be a nun when you're not Catholic, so that was never a good plan for me.......LOL And it's hard to be a lesbian when you want to have sex with men.........!

  Dating is very frustrating though. I hated doing it. And finding a gem among all the poopheads is very challenging!! But hang in there b/c you will find someone. It just takes longer than you want!

  xxoo natalie xxoo

• Me-Myself&I said on Dec 06, 2007....

  Destiny...girlfriend.....the art to finding a true love has been going on for....a long time! Most people have found just broken hearts, not their true loves. Then they keep looking ....without healing their broken hearts first before going on another search! No relationship can carry the wounds from a previous affair. Unconsciously you are attracted to the same ol' same!

  STOP in the name of love before you lose yourself. (singing)....i know ...i'm touched. **smile** You need to heal your heart first before you go ...hunting.

  Take care of you first, rebuilding inside... then.....i'll bet you ...he will come to you! cool, huh? i will pass on a few words to you in a PM ok.

  Destiny, you are one wonderful, special, loving, crazy lady!!! ((((hug)))) **smile** i'll pm message you after work today.     see ya!

• PassionTraveler said on Dec 06, 2007....

  ihshalaimports take your advertisement elsewhere. DD, any chance we can prevent enabling this unsolicited advertisement and delete? I won't be clicking on his site!
  
  I get enough junk mail in my inbox, my mailbox, and on the streets. This place is sanctuary to me. dont' want to see it here.
  
  Okay, don'e ranting, DD, your post, your choice. I apologize for making an unseemly request. Had to get that off my chest.
  
  PT
  

• destinydiva said on Dec 06, 2007....

  harriedpsycmajor~ interesting name :-)  thanks for your advice, it makes a lot of sense, I appreciate you sharing it with me :-) I wonder if thats why pete and I get on so well? because we are based on a freindship, there hasnt been any 'hidden' aspects of us, we have both been ourselfves from the word go...  thanks again :-) xx
  
  skald~ they are similar arnt they, aww (((((hugs))))) back to you :-) thank you :-) xx
  
  kikla~ lol! I think that too! maybe we just cant understand why else they would give up sex? :-)  thanks for stopping by at my blog, nice to meet you :-) xx
  
  mr 7 ~ I love titties :-) he he  xx
  
  
  
  

• destinydiva said on Dec 06, 2007....

  waking~ your right :-)  I have had a whole attitude shift to dating with this post :-) xx
  
  stonemaster~ welcome :-) that made me giggle too :-) xx
  
  cw~ hiya :-) I hope so :-) xx
  
  rmux~ hiya hows you? :-)  were you serious about being a nun? I always fancied the idea when I was about 5 but I was addicted to sound of music at the time! :-)
  then I discoered men and sex and figured nun and me wernt compatible :-) xx
  
  salsa~ lol smooth as crunchy peanut butter!!  yeah fun is a huge aspect of a relationship, lack fun and it all goes downhill, least it does in my case cus fun is really important to me :-) xx
  
  everyone ~ thanks for your comments I will reply in the morning (its 3am!!) I cant keep my eyes open :-)  but I appreciate all the advice on here thank you :-) xx
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

• StillSeeking said on Dec 07, 2007....

  Hi DestinyDiva, I know exactly where you're coming from -- I dated 23 MEN in the past year through on-line dating and speed-dating, and a year later I am...still single. Discouraging, but it's silly to settle for someone you don't REALLY like, because what fun is that? This year I'm going to pre-screen as much as possible to try to weed out those I'll have nothing in common with, so I'm hoping to go down in quantity but up in quality.  And several of the guys I met have actualy turned out to be good friends...one even gave me an iPod Nano for my birthday.  With friends like that, who needs a boyfriend?  ;)  Best of luck!!

• Racerboy said on Dec 07, 2007....

  My feelings are that I'm a lesbian that is trapped in a mans body!  I don't understand why women would want to date a smelly old ball scratching guy when they can date other cute women?  JMHO

• destinydiva said on Dec 07, 2007....

  still seeking~ hiya :-) welcome to my blog, and thanks for subscribing :-) wow an ipod for your birthday!  hmmm I am doing something wrong...most of my didnt quite work out dates I remain freinds with...but none bought me a nano!!!!!! I agree quality not quantity!!!!!  uhh i just dont seem to be able to get that in sync? lol :-)
  thanks for commenting :-) xx
  
  racerboy~ I consider becoming a lesbian often!! lol :-)  and you know what always brings me back to reality??  I like willies far too much!!!!!  :-) xx
  
  
  

• Racerboy said on Dec 07, 2007....

  Diva, spend 29.99 and buy one that won't go limp, is ready to play when you are and never needs a "lads night out"! 
  Us good Anglicans have nuns too, but most are too ugly to even make good lesbians.  Yes i know i'm going to hell for that but at least I'll know people there.
   
  Whats the difference between an old nun and a young nun?  .....An old nun has hope in her soul.  A young nun has soap in her hole!

• lfbno7 said on Dec 08, 2007....

  Des you are a normal girl with, maybe, the guts to go bi. Bi is normal for girls, and anything else is overly limited. I don't believe in hetero or strictly homosexual girls. I was with a lesbian friend in a motel room once, and she was making passes at me, so that's about what I think of lesbianism. Not sure it even exists in its 100% pure man-repelled form.

• destinydiva said on Dec 08, 2007....

  racer~ lol!!  I already own one :-) ans as good as they maybe  :-) they just dont match up to the real thing :-) and lmao about the nuns :-) xx       
  
  mr7~hmmm so your saying all lesbians are woman scorned by men in a previous life ? he he I do have the guts to try bi...  :-) *blushing* wouldnt make it a regular thing tho :-) xx
  

• lfbno7 said on Dec 08, 2007....

  No I think all lesbians are women who realized that they are attracted to women, and it isn't really connected to if they had trouble with guys or not, but women who had horrible experiences with guys would understandably avoid them and dislike them. And I also think that almost all lesbians would be able to enjoy sex with a guy they liked and trusted, rather than running away and throwing up in the toilet.

• desertsienna2 said on Dec 08, 2007....

  Congratulations!  You must be so excited.  It's great to have that opportunity.  An excited mom is a happy and good mom.  Good luck.

• Taffy000 said on Dec 10, 2007....

  You kiss as many frogs as it takes!!! It's been so long I've almost forgotten the number of men I'd meet online who's first question was height/weight as if those requirements were #1.  In real life a girl wanted to be romanced!!!! If a guy showed me some attention & bought me a few drinks that was enough to spark my interest if I were attracted to him.  There has been maybe 1 man online whose picture I was attracted to.  All of the others were duds to look at yet they expected me to be perfect physically. 

• destinydiva said on Dec 10, 2007....

  I was only joking mr 7!!  :-) xx
  
  desert~ thank you :-) xx
  
  taffy~ yeah, I have tried and given up on internet dating, although its a great oppurtunity to meet people you wouldnt meet in real life, it is also an oppurtunity for people to pretend to be something they are not, I learnt my lesson with internet dating, have you ever tried speed dating?? that I recommend!!  sounds like the guys you have come across are to wrapped up in themselves and very shallow, I hope you find your mr right soon :-) xx
  
  PT~ of course you can, not sure how long we would last though hey? :-) no sex...  no men...none of those glorious kisses! uhhh  I totally talked myself out of the idea of becoming a lesbian nun!!  lol  :-)  the spells I am hopeful... I did my own spell under the full moon totally beginner style... no ritual just pure guess work, but it worked, I was with pete and we both made a wish....and his came true!!  and he was totaly skeptical!!  so I guess you should keep up with those spells! :-)  or we could ask memy&I to post some for us...  like we could do a begging post between us saying pleeeeeeeeeeese and she may post some for us ?  what dya think ;-) he he xx  oh ps...advert being deleted :-) x
  
  yaboy~ hiya :-) (((((((hugs)))))))) thank you :-) I needed to hear that :-) .....taking a deep breath right now! :-) xx
  
  wombat~ lmao! your funny!! :-) well hopefully maybe kinda I found the good apple since writing this post :-) thanks for stopping by :-) xx
  
  lioness~ pete and I are defo on a friends only journey, his heart is still with his wife, but I am enjoying being pals with him :-) xx
  
  natalie~ hiya :-) yeah its not as fun and appealing as some people make out hey!  and lol..nahh I couldnt give up sex!! lol :-) xx
  
  memy&I~ you are sooo right, I know what you say is perfectly true and I definitly am recovering from a couple of heart wrecking relationships! I dont want true love right now, I just need...something!! :-) I need to not feel alone anymore, with someone who is happy to stay at a distance enough for me to enjoy some adult company have some fun and still recover!  you are so wise memy&I and your words are so sweet...thank you :-) ((((((((((hugs))))))))) :-) xx
  
  sorry it took me awhile to reply, thanks everyone for stopping by :-) xx
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

• Racerboy said on Dec 10, 2007....

  I think you spent the evening having flashbacks about how good it was and even though you were a good girl on your date, you know what is in store if things go right.  I agree with whom ever said he must have been pretty good if you are even considering a rematch.  If he wasn't any good you wouldn't even consider it.  I think it's great , but I like to tease you about it.  Much like the teasing I get from others, which is OK.

• lfbno7 said on Dec 10, 2007....

  Did I ever tell you about the time I made love with a girl and then she got up and went to the toilet and threw up?

• anonymous said on Dec 12, 2007....

  and what about those finding love spells? MMI? I'm game for one of those too! Do the spells work? I write prayer spells all the time, but never accompany them with any sort of a ritual. Maybe that's why they don't work.
  

• PassionTraveler said on Dec 12, 2007....

  MMI? PLLLLLEEEAAAAASSSEEE... give us some love spells?
  
  PT
  

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