I'm sure you've heard the phrase before "there are two kinds of people in the world...". Well, here is another one; there are two kinds of people in world, those who take responsibility for their actions, and those who won't.
Those people who take the blame and then proceed to assume the responsibility for their actions garner my respect as quickly as anyone can. These people are usually truthful, have a set morality, and certainly have humility.
It is something that is difficult to teach. I can remember as a young boy not exactly jumping at the option of claiming guilt. But over a period of time, having relatives who taught and explained this virtue, I came to the decision taking that responsibility was always the best course- and received less punishment, by the way.
This was one of the most difficult things I encountered with my sons. In fact, I was still teaching this into their late teens and in one case, beyond. Some do not require much teaching at all, my daughter was one.
There is a large difference also in taking blame and assuming responsibility. Once a person is taught to admit blame for actions, the teaching takes on a second level and that is to correct the action and dig your self out of the hole- not an easy thing to do in many cases.
We come across people all the time who will not take blame and fewer yet who will not assume the responsibility to correct it and carry on. And we have those of the lowest order, such as at work, who will consciously attempt to lay blame on others.
Do you have people around you who will not take the right course?
Have you had problems at work or elsewhere with this sort?
Do you agree with me it is one of the great virtues and shows many wonderful attributes about the nature of a person?
beyondtheveil posted on Dec 04, 2007
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Comments
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Fallyn said on Dec 04, 2007....
i think it's a wonderful virtue.
i can't claim i've always been responsible for my actions unfortunately.
i try........
and sometimes i've been known to take the blame when it isn't my fault......
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uniquely-ironic said on Dec 04, 2007....
The ability to admit fault and take responsibility for a mistake is the highest level of integrity. It requires huge amounts of courage, respect for others and self and humility.I have several people in my life who are masters of blame shifting. If they had shot someone dead they'd blame the victim, the gun manufacturer and society for too much stress before admitting that they had any responsibility for their behavior. It grates me. I'm not perfect, but when I screw up I will take responsibility when I see my mistake. -
beyondtheveil said on Dec 04, 2007....
fallyn- I remember at work for a couple places where blame was shifted to me. I gave my side and then after a while just said, ok, there's nothing I can say to convince you so..whatever and walk out. It left them in a heck of a quandary. But I hated taking blame for someone else. However, I have done it for friends and that didn't bother me too much.
unique- It grates me too. I've run into so many people who evidently have never made a mistake in their life. It amazes me just as much that they can't see how it lowers them in the view of others.
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silverwhisper said on Dec 04, 2007....
while i agree generally, beyond, there are IMX people who also take on blame that isn't really theirs to take out of a misplaced sense of low self-worth. but otherwise, i am in complete agreement. as usual. :>
ed -
lampshade said on Dec 04, 2007....
I could never be a politician because I have no problem admitting I make mistakes. Quite frequently, in fact.
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Lioness said on Dec 04, 2007....
beyond, I also hold high esteem for people who take responsibility for their actions.
It happens all the time at work, especially because it is easier to wash hands than take the blame. But may I cite one instance when I was taking up a vocational course after college. The institution required us to submit some projects. By this, I know they meant giving us the chance to help the school by contributing some useful materials for incoming students, not require us to buy trashcans, brooms or dust pans for the school like they intend to. So I told my friend M about my dismay and she was feeling the same way. Another student, A, from another course told us about his disappointment. So M and A made a signature campaign, saying that they disagreed with the projects that the school is requiring. Most of the students signed. Me included.
The school administrator met us in one of our classes and was fuming mad, citing that the move had no due process, and so on, and so forth. She had an idea that M was one of the promoters of the campaign. Then she asked all the students who came up with that idea to stand up. I looked at M and she seemed to have no plans of telling she has a major role in the plan. So I stood up. The rest followed. I was not berated, but we were suspended and not allowed to take the final exams unless we apologized. After the class, I met A. He said the administrator went to their class earlier and he did not stand up either. (This time, they seemed to be tiny creatures in my sight, simply because they didn't have the courage to uphold what they were fighting for).
I saw nothing wrong with what we did. But for the sake of at least finishing the semester, I asked an apology to our teacher, not to the administrator. I never enrolled again the following semester. M finished the course and was even given a special award.
It's funny. I don't feel the least regret for taking responsibility for that action. I knew I was being true to myself, unlike M and A who were cowards.
Looking back, I am still proud of it like I was at the time.
Sorry for the long comment!!
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Mamie said on Dec 04, 2007....
yes, i do agree.
And I like that term "blame shifters", it is much kinder than names I have called them in my experiences...:) It took me a mighty long time to figure out who was responsible for what in my life and finally to only take care of what was mine to take care of. I have a brother who I always "took care of"...until the day he said "nobody asked you to". It slapped me upside my head and I learned to recognize myself and others and where the boundaries need to be. -
Twylarants said on Dec 04, 2007....
I can't understand people who are afraid to own up to a mistake, but on the other hand, I can't understand people who place so much importance on mistakes others make either. The women I work with do this to each other constantly, and someone's always trying to drag me into it. Leave me the hell out of it. If I make a mistake I don't worry about it, it's a mistake...that's all. And don't come gossiping to me about someone else's mistake.
Just get over it, move on, stop throwing each other under the bus, nobody died, no one got fired, the world didn't end, life goes on.......
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beyondtheveil said on Dec 05, 2007....
Ed- Yes, wish I had thought of that to put in the post. That is a big problem with women who are caught in a degrading, violent, and controlling marriage, which I'm sure affects children also in somewhat the same way.
lampshade- Politicians, you bet, right on.
lioness- I knew someone well that was caught in a situation similar to yours at work. Several employees got together to air several grievances with a boss and chose this person to be spokesman. He went in alone for the group. Afterwards the boss came out angry and asked who else was in on this. No one responded and the one guy was left holding the bag. He was never promoted and watched the others go up in the company. He rarely talked about this, but I'm sure it affected him greatly. And by the way, I'm proud of you too.
mamie- It can sometimes take a while to make realizations like you mentioned. Its too bad it was your brother, many siblings have had that problem. I'm glad to hear you set boundaries.
twyla- Oh, I know what you are talking about. I've seen people at work that live to talk of the mistakes of others. And of course, they enjoy it.
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Lioness said on Dec 05, 2007....
beyond, thank you. I am sure it taught him a great lesson, I surely did. -
Fallyn said on Dec 05, 2007....
ed......thats what im talking about -
quietone said on Dec 05, 2007....
Oh we have lotsa people where I work that are never wrong... I think being able to take responsibility for your actions is very good virtue. I have done that, I'm not good at making up excuses...
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blastfromthepast said on Dec 05, 2007....
Taking responsibility for one's actions is one thing. Learning from the mistake itself is quite another.There is a perfect example of shirking responsibility and pointing blame happening on any given day right in our parliament buildings. Imagine that?
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