i had a couple of experiences that basically sum up how retarded i was when i was younger.
jon.....i had the most tremendous crush on him.
he was adorable and funny.
we went to the same school...he was a grade ahead of me....but we were in a one room christian school, so we were in the same classroom. the older grades....basically just he and i were taking bible study up in an empty classroom above the gym.....so every day we'd go up there the teacher would send us alone....cause we were old enough to go.....
we were headed out there, and he stops me....and he says, "what would you do if i kissed you"
and like an IDIOT. ......i said, "i'd kick you"
because i'm shy and dumb...and i don't know what other reasons......basically i couldn't believe he actually liked me. .....he turned and went up the steps and i followed him...and the poor guy never brought it up again.
the next year i was in public school for the first time ever.
8th grade.
a kid named Troy......and his best friend were sitting behind me on the bus ride home.
he taps me on the shoulder and says "would you go out with me"
and i say "yeah right!"
*sigh* i will NEVER forget this.
it wasn't until a long time later that i realized what i'd done.
i was SOOOO scared of boys. i was SOOO sure he was setting me up for a practical joke of some kind.
the thing is...if he'd asked me when he was by himself i probably would have said yes.
i didn't know what the look on his face meant at that time.....but i do now.
and i will never forget how badly i must have hurt his feelings.
this is why i feel so retarded so often.
and why i didn't have a first kiss until i was 22.
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Fallyn posted on Dec 04, 2007
| views: 399
Comments
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pickersplock said on Dec 04, 2007....
I know the feeling because I was the same way.People think you're stuck up, but you're really just extra shy.Aww, we have to get past that. We did the best we could. -
Fallyn said on Dec 04, 2007....
pickers....*laughing* i was told years later that everyone thought i was stuck up.
and i WASN'T i was just SOOOOOO shy.
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moyz said on Dec 04, 2007....
i've always been snobbish in character and it's a problem with guys...
I dont think you are retarded though...lol... -
hinana said on Dec 04, 2007....
aw fallyn ur not retarded xD
i probably do teh same thing...only nowadays guys mostly flirt over msn or aim or w.e it is they use , so its a lot easier to deal with that...
poor troy =P
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Fallyn said on Dec 04, 2007....
*grin* .....i feel awfully retarded.
were you trying to be snobbish? just curious. *grin*
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moyz said on Dec 04, 2007....
no I wasnt trying....that's just what they said i was -
Fallyn said on Dec 04, 2007....
yeah, *sigh* me too. *frown* guys can be dense. -
moyz said on Dec 04, 2007....
lol...*grin* -
Fallyn said on Dec 04, 2007....
*laughing* MEN can be dense too. -
rmuxagirl said on Dec 04, 2007....
I have always been shy when it came to men and relationships and then when I did allow my self to be vulnernable I would do something that would chase him off. Though one day in college a friend of mine and I were headed in the same direction and he asked if I was following him I finally had the courage to say "cause you're so damn cute" he just laughed didn't think I was serious....
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Fallyn said on Dec 04, 2007....
*laughing* was that the first you had the courage to flirt? -
vacantmind said on Dec 04, 2007....
I have never been shy in this area. I have a tendency to be over aggresive though. And I still have my dense moments. Fallyn, retarded isn't a word that I would use to describe you. I just don't think you were ready for a relationship back then. -
travelr712 said on Dec 04, 2007....
fallyn - allot of people are afraid of the opposite sex. don't feel bad. i only had 1 girlfriend for 6 months when i was a sophomore in highschool. i didn't go to either of my proms. it wasn't until i was in my second year of college that i had another girlfriend, and she ended up pregnant and we ended up married. i used to be scared to death of asking a woman out, and even more afraid that it would be an uncomfortable and agonizing experience if she accepted and the date actually happened.it has only been within the last few months actually that i have gained the confidence to talk to any woman and not be intimidated by them, and that leads me to believe that i could date all types of women, have a very enjoyable time with them and them with me, and not chastise myself if there was no connection there. if only i had the money.... :-) -
Lioness said on Dec 04, 2007....
LOL Fallyn, those seemed to be missed opportunities huh? Just kidding!
Well, I was a very shy type too when I was young. It stemmed when a grade 1 classmate of mine had lunch at home one day. After that, my uncle would tease me to him. I never wanted to be teased to boys (especially that this boy said he loves me while we were walking in a bridge to school.. speaking of putting malice to my young mind. Haha). So from then on, I shied away from them even if they were neighbors or classmates or friends, never had any fixed guy friends until college. And the only close guy friends I had in college were seminarians. LOL Yeah, no serious boyfriends until at age 23.
Everything has changed now though...
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lampshade said on Dec 04, 2007....
It is funny because its so much like me. I look back at my younger years and see all the times when I was stupid and avoided a situation rather than embracing it. Now I'm a master of flirting but I have a hard time backing up what I'm saying. -
bloc said on Dec 04, 2007....
" i was SOOO sure he was setting me up for a practical joke of some kind."I remember having the exact same thought. At the beginning of 7th grade (i think, it's been a while) I saw this older girl, named shannon, that was super cute. some new girl was sitting beside my in one class and i guess they were friends. She told me that shannon "liked me". I was certain she was joking since I had no idea shannon even knew me.She wasn't joking and I ended up going out with her, whatever that means in middle school :) -
sheltercrow said on Dec 04, 2007....
These guys here are the frat boys durring my hazing. This guy didn't make it.
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lampshade said on Dec 04, 2007....
" i was SOOO sure he was setting me up for a practical joke of some kind."
This line had me thinking too. I've been on both ends of that line....sometimes it was real and sometimes it turned out to actually be a practical joke. Kids are so mean!
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sheltercrow said on Dec 04, 2007....
There is me giving Nixon some advice. I was into Elvis then. He wa really just one of the boys.
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wombat said on Dec 04, 2007....
I started out being shy with boys, but soon learned how nice the attention was! I think I ended up being more shy around new female friends for some reason.I enjoyed reading this peek into your past! But I don't think I ever said anything like that to a boy who gave me a second look. That makes me sound bad, doesn't it? Well, I wasn't that bad--but I took the attention where I could get it, I guess. -
Fallyn said on Dec 05, 2007....
vacant...i wonder which end of the scale it would be better to be on.
maybe not better, but easier.
trav....well, it didn't help that i thought i was ugly...and fat.....when in fact...especially at that time i was seriously neither.
lioness, i TOTALLY see them as missed opportunities. *laughing* maybe if i'd had some experience stuff wouldn't have happened the way it did later.
lamp...you do remind me of me in a few ways *grin*....poor you. *grin*
and kids are really mean,.
bloc....that was ALWAYS the thought that went through my head...always.
wombat, i have always had trouble with female friends....i never know how to act.......i always tend to take on the mother role of girls younger than me.....or befriend women who are older than me, i have a REALLY hard time with girls my own age....i never know what to say.
shelter........um.......elvis? hazings? *grin*............
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wombat said on Dec 05, 2007....
Fallyn: Probably explains why I have always had more men friends than women friends. Nothing to prove, probably. Don't need to waste my time on that. -
Fallyn said on Dec 05, 2007....
wombat...EXACTLY. ....there was always so much DRAMA with girls my age. and i never understood it. -
travelr712 said on Dec 05, 2007....
fallyn - well, it's good that you've figured out that you weren't. err, aren't. err, well, you know what i mean! :-) and i think allot of people felt like that when they were younger. -
Fallyn said on Dec 05, 2007....
trav....*laughing* i'm sure they did...but while it's happening my goodness it's awful. -
travelr712 said on Dec 05, 2007....
fall - almost nothing worse in the world, i agree. -
queenparanoia said on Dec 05, 2007....
fallyn; i dont have a boyfriend oh with... i never had a boyfriend before and i'm gonna be 22 next month!!! so youre not alone... and you know what i have experinces like that too... =) -
Fallyn said on Dec 05, 2007....
queen......yup.....i know.....*HUGS* ....it's frustrating isn't it? -
queenparanoia said on Dec 05, 2007....
fallyn; yeah very much... =) -
Fallyn said on Dec 06, 2007....
hinana.....i really don't know how i missed your post way up there........it must have been right when i posted....or something.
and yeah.....poor troy! ......i do most of my flirting online too......or texting.
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