i'm not sure what it is exactly, but for years now, i haven't been able to cry. i've come close, but no cake. i don't know why i can't cry. maybe it's society's fault. but women cry all the time and they seem fine. hell, people say a good cry now in then is healthy. so i guess i'm unhealthy.

 

also, i'm not a very religious person, but i do believe that some people and things get reincarnated, and that there are ghosts and an afterlife. i had this dream this morning and it didn't strike me as odd until i got out of bed. it was my family and we were all visiting my grandparents at their house in deltona. i haven't been there in 5 years or so. but we were all there having a good time. laughing. smiley. conversing. i got to talk to my grandmother and it was like we were having a real, present-day conversation. but it was a dream, so i eventually woke up. i then realized that today was december 2nd and that 7 years ago today, my grandmother passed away due to cancer. and i loved her very much.