• silverwhisper said on Dec 01, 2007....

  undoubtedly a difficult thing to witness, shadow song. :<

• shadow_song said on Dec 01, 2007....

  Yes, it is.  But it's most difficult because it drives home what a fool I have been with him.  

• silverwhisper said on Dec 01, 2007....

  i am sorry to learn this. i seem to recall telling you some time ago that he was unworthy of you and am afraid i still hold this opinion.
  
  ed

• shadow_song said on Dec 01, 2007....

  Perhaps he isn't.
  
  I think perhaps I am finally beginning to see him for who he really is.   It's funny, I thought he was so wonderful, but it turns out, not so much.  And he warned me when I not long after I had first meet him that I held way too high of an opinion of him.
  
  But you know, I thought that he was different.
  
  It turns out that he's really not.
  
  You see, I was lead to believe that I was somehow special to him.  In fact, he claimed that he didn't react to other people like he did with me.  That he didn't open up to them the way he did to me.  That he didn't get close to other women the way he did me. 
  
  It turns out all that was really a deception.
  
  It just took me seeing it happen in black and white in front of me on the screen for me to realize that I am no more special than anyone else. He's not as private a person as he claims to be. He has opened up to other women in the way that he claims that he only did with me.
  
  
  
  
  

• silverwhisper said on Dec 01, 2007....

  so he lied to you?
  
  seriously: get this guy out of your life. you'll be happier.
  
  ed

• shadow_song said on Dec 01, 2007....

  Maybe I will.  But I suppose it's hard to let go of someone when you love them.
  
  Haven't you ever deceived someone or hurt them?  And did they rid their life of you when they found out you deceived them or hurt them?
  
  
  

• silverwhisper said on Dec 01, 2007....

  no, he abused your trust, and it appears based on what you said that it was quite deliberately. the way you describe him here, it sounds like he's deliberately seduced you by playing on your vulnerability. and that's contemptible.
  
  ed

• shadow_song said on Dec 01, 2007....

  I don't know if the abuse of my trust was deliberate.  I would like to believe that it wasn't, but I just don't know.
  
  And I don't know if the seduction was deliberate.  But you are making an assumption that I was vulnerable when I got involved with him.
  
  And, as the cliche goes, it does take two people to tango, Silver. 
  
  I willingly let myself get involved with him despite knowing that we both were spoken for.  I let myself be drawn in by his lovely words and with the delicious and oh so erotic things he described.  And I let myself respond in kind.
  
  
  
  And you didn't answer my question, Silver.
  
  You've deceived people.  Everyone does at some point. So, did the people you deceived or the people whose trust you abuse cut you out of their lives?
  

• silverwhisper said on Dec 02, 2007....

  actually, based upon the blog entry posted after this one, it's hard not to infer that there was some measure of vulnerability.
  
  to answer your question: no, they haven't. but then again, i don't know that i've ever experienced a breach of trust of this magnitude--at least, not in a long, long time. but if they had, i would have deserved it.
  
  i really don't know what else to say, s_s. i wish i did.
  
  ed

• shadow_song said on Dec 02, 2007....

  You know, perhaps there was some vulnerability.  After all, everyone is vulnerable to some extent.  But the assumption that I needed rescuing was all his.

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