Let me explain what I mean about exotic illusions. Its kind of like your dream, but not the dream of being a great writer, actor, or artist. Its more in the line of the fully attainable. It may take years of work, like a dream home or location. Here are some examples of what I call exotic illusions.
I've known many people who dream of a certain type of house in a beautiful isolated location. I have a friend who, throughout much of his life searched for the location for a big ranch style home in a rather secluded valley in the mountains. He worked twenty years for this. He located and bought the land at a steep price. At the right time of retirement, he had the house built. He worked months on landscaping. I've been there and everything is truly beautiful.
After being there about a year he called me on the phone and said he may have made a mistake. I told him to remember my warnings to him of doing this. He is a very social animal and has no one around him, no friends there. The neat small town he is near is clickish and not his type. Its been over three years now and in talking to him, after wanting to sell and move for two years, he tells me doesn't know where to move to, doesn't want to make the same mistake again. And he is only one of the people I've known that did this...
...an exotic illusion...
I've known people who did this with work.
A law enforcement officer.
A couple of school teachers.
Several in the military.
They had illusions about the job and were going to make a difference and change their part of the world.
I've had these exotic illusions. When I was quite young, a friend and I quit our jobs and went to California. You know, where there are thousands of voluptuous girls over a hundred miles of beach just waiting for us like in Baywatch. Great, high paying jobs everywhere. We would cruise the strip in a Jag and be in hormone heaven.
In a month we were back asking for our old jobs like the sad puppies we were.
I could go on for pages of cases like this.
Have you ever had exotic illusions about something or someone who didn't turn out as you thought? A place you moved to? A person that wasn't the prince or princess? A job where you were going to make a big difference, but the job stopped or shocked you in your tracks?
I still have exotic illusions, but usually catch myself before acting on them...usually...
beyondtheveil posted on Nov 30, 2007
| views: 551
Comments
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silverwhisper said on Nov 30, 2007....
o boy...i think we've all got these, beyond.
perhaps one that many have is what married life is like, or just of cohabiting w/ someone: how different the reality of that can be from the fantasy you have in your head.
ed -
uniquely-ironic said on Nov 30, 2007....
me too.I thought I had married someone who would wisk me away to Hawaii where every day was a beach day. Somehow that never happened. -
kumarilata said on Nov 30, 2007....
i wanted to move to Hawaii back in the 80's, so i saved my money and vacationed there, and very disappointed, way too commercial, and i was thinking about moving there until then.
~~lata
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quietone said on Nov 30, 2007....
beyond ~ I think that about sums up most of my life unfortunately. I packed up and moved 3000 miles across country, sight unseen, no job, no place to live..on a whim..I stayed there for 10 years and learned a lot about life...the hard way. -
moonriver said on Nov 30, 2007....
beyond -- "be careful of what you wish for.... " :-)
exotic illusions require calibrated and careful investment (and i don't just mean money) to become reality. i think in most cases i was careful enough to ensure that my major "dream situations" -- career shifts, settling down elsewhere, even choosing a partner -- were really what i wanted in life.
looking back, i've never regretted any of these major moves (except perhaps in minor aspects, such as timing), and have regarded them as life-enriching. when i had to leave finally, it was because i had grown, things have changed (which is inevitable), and i had to move on. no regrets. i guess i'm just lucky in this respect... :-)
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beyondtheveil said on Nov 30, 2007....
Ed- Yea, we've all got them. I tend to think you're about the most common is marriage. The last wedding I went to was a big expensive happiness for all type thing and the bride (the one I knew) was separated in two months.
unique- Not a prince,huh? You know, the biggest change for me wasn't marriage, but the first child. That changes everything.
kuma- Kind of like my California move. The only place I ever visited that had not one disappointment was Vegas.
quiet- Your life and mine have some similarities I think. I moved from the far West to the east and did the same hard life for six years. It wasn't all bad though. It was my first experience with the big city.
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queenparanoia said on Nov 30, 2007....
yes i have so many exotic illusions... but i won't give up for it... they are part of my personal legend... =) -
beyondtheveil said on Nov 30, 2007....
queen- Ha ha!, personal legend, very good. I used to be full of them too. But I'm older and life has slapped me around a few times. I don't think we completely lose them though. -
queenparanoia said on Nov 30, 2007....
beyond: why did you gave up for them? i think your friend know what his personal legend but looked at in a different way... that's why he wasn't happy on his decision...
yeah i know my personal legend may be hard and i know life would never be easy for me to achieve it...
but guess what even if i have doubts... i wont give up for it...
because dreams becomes a reality if you won't give up dreaming... =)
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kruuyai said on Nov 30, 2007....
I think this journey that I'm on could qualify as an exotic illusion. For most of the time I've been doing it, I have felt so disappointed in what I thought was going to be my lifelong dream of living overseas, but I was bitterly disappointed in Mexico. Instead of finding happiness, I found chaos, melodrama, and I lost my entire family... my three cats, so I learned for the first time, what it's like to grieve the loss of a loved one, and then I had to relive that two more times in a two year period. When I finally left Mexico, I thought now I was really going to live my dream and make a lifestyle out of volunteering on organic farms, taking care of farm animals, learning to spin wool and weave, make wine and jam, etc. and to alternate that with petsitting assignments and checking out intentional communities until I found the one that was right for me. Added to that, I was going to find the time to write and to play around with the arts... be involved in community theater, you name it. But I was again bitterly disappointed with the organic farm scenario, as the first two farms that I worked on turned out to be highly exploitative situations and I gave up on the idea altogether. So, I followed that by taking a teaching position in Poland that I felt would at least give me the time to write, but I was so unhappy in my living situation that I was unable to do any creative work. It hasn't been until recently that I finally found something close to what I was looking for. I have a rich and fulfilling social life, and I'm taking acting classes twice a week with a commitment to rehearse an additional two days a week, I'm planning to rewrite a play I wrote when I was in Mexico and have it produced here, I got a violin and plan to start taking lessons soon and have already located an outstanding teacher, and I'm actively learning and using a variety of European languages in everyday life. So, I would tell people that, if your dream doesn't turn out the way you want it to at first, don't give up. It may need a little tweaking, but you can find what you're looking for. It's just that sometimes, we are looking for something a bit different than what we thought we were looking for and perhaps it's in a different place than where we thought we'd find it. This quest has been especially important for me in the last three years, since my last cat died, because her very clear instructions to me, on the day after her death (long story... future post), were to follow my dreams, and whenever I thought I was doing that, and ending up being so unhappy, I felt like I was letting her down and that she had died for nothing. But it's just that's it's taken me a while to really shape my dreams, because I had to put my illusions to the test first, to see if they were really what I thought they were.... some were, some weren't. My dreams just needed a little tweaking, and I imagine that will continue to be true for the rest of my life, but I won't give up... I'll just go on tweaking and following. -
the_infernal_optimist said on Nov 30, 2007....
ed made a really good point, beyond.
I think your friend's house would've been perfect for me! I'm not big on an active, overfull social life. :-p How sucky for him that his dream rang hollow after finally making it reality!
I had a full ride to college on a teaching scholarship (competition was fierce, academic merit + interviews, etc.). I thought I'd become a high school English teacher and change the world somehow. Less than a year into college, I realized teaching [at the non-university level] was definitely not my calling, and I gave up my scholarship - quite disillusioned about the whole system - and switched majors. Ugh.
(And I still missed the boat! :-p)
~Infernal
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wakingharmony said on Nov 30, 2007....
everything before me is a dream an illusion....... I try to think of the good all the good past are dreams come true and I have so many to really be thankful for. My Dreams can not be touched yet you can feel them. -
queenparanoia said on Nov 30, 2007....
kruu: youre my inspiration... =) -
Fallyn said on Dec 01, 2007....
you just described my life. -
Suddenrain said on Dec 01, 2007....
I lived a life a lot of people want. It's all an illusion. I am happier in seclusion. Life is slower and more down to earth for me now. This is what I wanted all along. But without the prior experiences, I never would have realized it. -
kumarilata said on Dec 01, 2007....
i was a csa (case management assistant) was suppose to actually work case study, and collect information from families in crisis, and all it was , a glorified gopher. -
kruuyai said on Dec 01, 2007....
queen: Thank you. That means a lot to me. -
beyondtheveil said on Dec 01, 2007....
moon- Yes, they need to be carefully handled. One of the problems I've had all my life is not knowing exactly what I want.That doesn't do well for good decision making. However, my second marriage was one I wanted and has worked out well. There are also some bad moves I don't regret.
queen- I didn't give them up, but started looking more closely after life slapped me around a couple times. I don't at all think you should give up dreaming, quite the opposite.
kruu- I definitely believe your life qualifies, but your choice in life is going to have downs almost as if built in. It must be expected. However, I don't believe you would take for it. I've told you before I have a healthy respect for what you have done, and will do. Your posts keep me in dreamtime. You are one exotic girl.
infernal- I'd like to know the percentage of students that change majors. High I am sure. And we never know about these things. Perhaps it was best for you after all. I quit college half way through my junior year and have not regretted it. What do you mean about missing the boat? It seems I read on posts of yours that there were bad experiences at the non-college level and you went on to teach college. Right?
waking- I'm happy for you. It sounds like there are good decisions in your past. Its been a while since I felt one of my dreams, good for you.
fallyn- It pretty much describes mine also.
sudden- I've heard people mention with your life that it felt like an illusion. I think it takes people many experiences to realize what is missing in their life, what they really want. Seclusion does it for some, it gives you time to think and look at nature. Its strange how I love to be alone, but alone around people. That can happen as weird as it sounds.
lata- You know, there are so many jobs that don't turn out as people think they will. The more I think about this, could it be most?
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wakingharmony said on Dec 01, 2007....
beyond~ it is not that I made all good descions at the time they happen. But I chose to learn from all and that makes them good. I try not to regret (very hard!) But look at all the lessons I learn from any negative my way.....learning makes them a positive thing...therefore riding your self of negative. And How wonderful it feels. I have been writting a while about this in long hand. I find it hard sometime to explain this. but I will not fluster . I need to be this way...... It frees my soul -
beyondtheveil said on Dec 01, 2007....
waking- I could not have said it better. What a great attitude.
I've learned much from my bad decisions also. In fact, after they are over, I find they weren't as bad as I thought while living them.
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huttriver1 said on Dec 01, 2007....
or mistakes in life. -
queenparanoia said on Dec 02, 2007....
eyondtheviel; dont worry i won't give up dreaming... =)
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