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maple's blog - subscribe i am 27 and my hair is usually unnatural-looking.

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poem?...
even if he ever leaves her.. it won't be for me....
keeping them to myself....
because i know i can't do any worse...
our both' terms?...
since 2007. it's now 2009. amazing how the same some stuff sounds. i see the one from after my birthday last year and it ends 'come back come back come back' ......
there is NO one i can talk to about this. i don't think there's anything they could say anyways, what could i do. besides, say, i quit, never again. i kinda thought it was over. but then there he was and there we were and everyone asks how long we've kn...
stive wonder steve miller pan classic rock aesthetic

i know they all start the same like DUH DUh DUH dun nu nuhhhh... then bow chica bow bow and oooohh ooohhhhhhh oooooooh ahhhh. laa laaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh... BOW chicha DUH duhhhhhhhh!...
when he first put his fingers in me.. it was him that whispered 'oh my god'. and hours later when we finally... 'that feels amazing'.. it did. every minute. it's never enough. god i love him so much....
attack has passed. maybe i can be rational. wait until the next natural time. but each one is getting more.. thought out. maybe its time i tried.. anything. ok better get back out of here before i talk myself into another. would i eternal sunshine mysel...
how long must i wait.. i am feeling better today than the last two but as soon as something a little frustrating comes my way i just give way to despair. all i ever write about here is feeling bad so i hate to even come here. i am so scared. how long...
its funny cuz he talks so much about hating religion. which i totally get. i am a scientist, a liberal, cant stand this blind god-frenzy that fucks up our country and always has been a source and excuse for violence. i play some sort of devil's advocate...

yup

yay for crying in the bathroom. get over myself....
i guess this is my official blogabouthim. stuff i wish i wasnt thinking. we spent all night and all day together for my birthday, all day alone, and time flew, and i want it back. i have flashbacks like when SJP starts the affair with Big in sex and t...
i feel like its time to run away again. but i am supposed to be in it now. work, school, the whole thing, i signed up for at least a couple years. i don't know what i want though and i don't know if it's this, i was good but i never liked school. so all...
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