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insanityupsidedown's blog - subscribe I tried so hard to preserve my sanity only to lose it in the end. In my quest to keep life right-sideup, I have turned my mind upside-down.

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I want to know what it is about me that makes me so hard to love. I want to know what it is that makes a person want a girl like me....
I don't think doing John tonight was exactly on my to-do list. I had packing, cleaning, budgeting, emailing...sleeping...to do. No where between the packing, cleaning, etc. did I fit in time to get rough and dirty with John....
Joe Purdy [aka one of the world's greatest musicians] sings an amazing song about what love and what it isn't. And with that I lead into my latest late night/wee morning hours contemplation....
I've never been in love, I'm quite certain of that....
"Crazy is as crazy do"? Tell me if the theory's true!...
I'm sorry cutie. If I had it to do over again I wouldn't have slept with you on Tuesday, you were too drunk. I would've just talked to you......
No one I know, no one I'm close to, dies...until last night. Fuck, it hasn't even hit me yet....
I'm feeling fat and ugly today. I'm feeling overly pissed at boys and my involvement with them. Well frankly, I feel a bit like a fat, ugly whore. And that, that's sort of a terrible feeling to have....
This follows one month of shaking up life, two weeks of crying, and one late night shower......