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ok....so I ask you.....is being lied to worse than being faced with the truth, even if the truth is bad? i'm thinking that being lied to is more hurtful...because when the truth does come out...and it usually does you are faced with two situations that...
Yeah! A Day OFF....it's been a while since I've had a day off and wouldn't you know it...it's raining. With my brother on vacation someone had to be there to manage his resturant...that be me...12 hour days were killing me.... but I'm off today...and I...
For months i couldn't sign in. For a while I kept trying to come back here to write my thoughts but for some reason I couldn't sign in. Then I just stopped trying. This morning I was going through some email from long ago and there was soulcast...and s...
ok......honestly, i never did clean those windows. no sooner did i get off the computer that the sun went behind some clouds and that's where it stayed most of the day. until it rained of course. i was in a shitty mood by the time i had to leave for w...
as my page filled the sun came out........finally.......it's been days.....and it's shinning through my kitchen window and i'm noticing........omg........they are dirty......haaaaaa.... i really shouldn't be spending my time typing.......i really gotta...
ok, so it's morning now. it's rainy here, and dark, and yet beautiful. i didn't sleep much, but i did sleep soundly. with thoughts whirling around in my head, and awoke to dreams that i cannot remember.
again i slept alone. every night. day af...

sex

ok, truth be told, i've been thinking alot about sex lately. maybe because i haven't had it in so long, but ......i'm really feeling that i need it.
not with him.......i just don't feel it for him.
but i'm thinking.....maybe........oh but tha...
Its getting late here. i worked 12 hours today and my eyes are feeling kinda tired. i was thinking of smoking a joint. or atleast a couple of hits off of one. maybe my mood would improve.
he pissed me off today. standing at my job talking to ...
its been a week since ive written. i think i just felt numb. the words wouldn't come it all just seemed meaningless. but i guess it's not. im just putting down the things i think about all the time. i made a decision...
my son has until june ti...
and so i made it through another sleepless night. they seem to last forever. how pathetic i am. feeling sorry for myself when i let this happen. i just don't see any way out. if i move out....i can just about afford a place. but then there is the c...
I worked today. Got out at 3:30. Working on Saturday isn't so bad.
so the text message from my hub said he'd meet me at the house at 4. it's 11:04 and he never came home.
this is what he does to his wife. this is what he does to me. t...
tomorrow is gonna be a sad day......
never forget..

do you remember what you were doing when you heard?...
i guess it's only been a couple of days since i've written but it's really hard to write when i'm depressed. it feels as though i'm doing time in this prison that should be a home. oh yeah, i'm allowed to leave.........to go to work. i do supose that...
again.....
it will never end..........
finally! alone ......oh time to think. my son came home from college on friday, needed to do some work on his car, not much got done. it's always...
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