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Perhaps I'm destined to be the next brainwashing victim in America. The directional pull is enormous.
darkerthanlight
posted on Jul 26, 2009
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I went to the library today. I got 2 books to read. One is on how to fix and build pcs. The other is a book on how to deal with people better. I'm on the right track. I can feel it. There was so much to choose from over there. I'll be spending mor... read entire post
darkerthanlight
posted on Jul 23, 2009
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When I was a teen I envisioned myself locking a particular boy in a cage. I can still picture this with a good laugh. It would be like turning the abuse around and breaking him instead of him breaking me. I got punished for this fantasy. I wanted him... read entire post
darkerthanlight
posted on Jul 23, 2009
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When a male abuses a female he needs to be punished. Alot of the time jail or prison isn't enough. Whether he beats on or rapes her, he is a pussy. If you force castration on him he is humiliated in front of the rest of the male community. This is go... read entire post
darkerthanlight
posted on Jul 22, 2009
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I woke up to a spirit flying above me in the middle of the night. It was touching me too. I was so fascinated, but couldn't keep my eyes open for long. I wouldn't mind being greeted by this being again. I'd like to converse with the nice "person". I... read entire post
darkerthanlight
posted on Jul 19, 2009
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I got a tingly high from thinking that I don't want to have sex with Ed! This is so much healthier than thinking that I need and want him. I'm being rewarded with beautiful feelings instead of a hard as stone demeanor. I'm being caressed by warmth.... read entire post
darkerthanlight
posted on Jul 17, 2009
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It only makes sense. Spending time trying to fix myself is a great idea. If I can mold me into who and what I want to be, then all is well. There are downloadable ebooks that the library advertises from another site. I think that I should spend some... read entire post
darkerthanlight
posted on Jul 17, 2009
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I have decided that I need to spend less time outside in the neighborhood. That way no one can sniff up my asshole and harass me. I think that I pissed off alot of men the other night. I can't worry about it though. I was pissed off. I had every rea... read entire post
darkerthanlight
posted on Jul 15, 2009
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Things have been looking pretty dire for me. I never went to the CSU. I almost went today but decided that I didn't want to lock myself up somewhere just because I am unhappy anymore. There has to be a better way then for me to be in something like a... read entire post
darkerthanlight
posted on Jul 12, 2009
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My brother stuck a magnetic ribbon that says "Support Farting" on my mother's car the other night. After my mom found it she came home. I took the magnet and stuck it on a neighbor's SUV. Gabby is a party poop who didn't find it amusing. She kept try... read entire post
darkerthanlight
posted on Jul 09, 2009
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I'm not trying to hurt anyone at this point. It's not worth having to deal with anymore negativity being reversed unto me. I made mistakes. Still, everyone makes mistakes. I can't worry about the people who stare and then turn their heads in ignoranc... read entire post
darkerthanlight
posted on Jul 06, 2009
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I still think it is possible that I will end up in the Crisis Stabilization Unit before I go out and get a job. I may sit there and actually not fake that I'm ok to get out. Maybe then I will get the help that I need. I'm mood swingin' like crazy. In... read entire post
darkerthanlight
posted on Jul 04, 2009
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Did you know that so far as I know all of the guys that beat me up were either of Jewish or Christian background? I find this fascinating because their kind claims that their God is just. There are members in my family that are Christian, so I can't ha... read entire post
darkerthanlight
posted on Jul 02, 2009
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I'm working on erasing the bad thoughts that go through my head. It's been going on for years now. I want the thoughts to stop. I want to think positively. I'm trying to see if I can knock the shit off by the time my next dr.'s appointment comes. I... read entire post
darkerthanlight
posted on Jul 01, 2009
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Windows automatic update goes from being automatic to manual and then back again on my computer. I am wondering if it's someone with ill intent towards me. Now all the fucking thing says is that there are udates available instead of updating on it's o... read entire post
darkerthanlight
posted on Jul 01, 2009
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I decided to wait on taking the courses and getting involved with the rehabilitation process. I'm still having suicidal thoughts. Another appeal was put in for SSI and SSDI by my lawyer. I have to face the facts. I can't work properly when I have the... read entire post