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all this time it's been coming to this. all this time and it's still the same. the empty surroundings of this life. they say she chose it. she chose to live at this time in this place at this time like this, this way.  And that way....
sheltered, her own shelter. this is why they'll never understand how important a house really is. a house means freedom. it means space and protection. it means safety. i never want to feel another person's harmful energy again. the thick bandages around...
it guides her around, that pull of saddness. of fear and outrage. but mostly something else. damage done so long ago. so long ago. inflicted and she can't let go. she can't let go because she doesn't know. she wishes she was there even though she was. bu...
she holds it down, so it won't show. the life those seconds that rambled unnoticed for milenia. surrounded by years. years of momentum and pressure from somewhere unknown and untouched, but truly touched. touched by voices not caring to speak. but evil ...

2

there's two of me
you can never see...
searching the night sky
for a place i call home
it's out there somewhere
a place for me to roam...
dolls that dance
to the beat of the night
the crazy air
heats up the sticky room
where their faces illuminate
flickering, laughing
falling off the bench
a nocturnal sojourn...
the hole
dense boring darkness
that constricts
and suffocates
squeezing my breath
and burning my will...
hours since my skin turned blue
the moment the future disappeared
into the splintered gash it came from...

Un

the unheard voice
tells it's tale
it's tale of love
of love long time....
the voice within
drowning
in a sea of aching tears...
desolating loneliness
hopeless nothing
eroding inside to out
crippling the structure's 
will to stand.
the shining shadows 
from other's glow
only twist the aching
into contortions of failure
and loss....