Fire-flower's blog
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This blog my way of dealing with grief, depression, and the darker side of my life - readers beware. It's not for everyone.
Fire-flower
posted on Jun 15, 2008
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Anyone whose been reading my blog knows that I recently lost my Grandmother, and have been, consequently, lost without her. I bumped into my neighbor, D, who is more an acquaintance than a friend, and she asked me to come for coffee - she had heard abou... read entire post
Fire-flower
posted on Jun 13, 2008
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So I got up again this morning, and walked my dogs. This is really hard for me, because my Grandmother and I always used to have a cup of tea and give the dogs a little tea as well, and chat about this and that. When I got home this morning, I felt the... read entire post
Fire-flower
posted on Jun 12, 2008
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I have no vanity, and I can prove it. It's impossible to walk 4 Yorkshire terrors, and keep your pride intact. I haven't walked them in a while - partly because I got a burn on my ankle, and partly because of everything going on with my Grandmother.... read entire post
Fire-flower
posted on Jun 11, 2008
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It's been nearly 3 weeks since my beloved Nanna died, and I have been an absolute wreck, curled up in the fetal position, sobbing, and barely capable of making a cup of tea, let alone turning on the computer. I knew it would be hard, I never imagined it... read entire post
Fire-flower
posted on May 19, 2008
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I have a part-time housekeeper, Fellice, whom I can ill-afford, but she really needed a job, and I really needed some help. Fellice is from Zimbabwe, where, thanks to Robert Mugabe, everyone is now a millionaire (... read entire post
Fire-flower
posted on May 18, 2008
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So my ex bf phoned me yesterday - we had a short relationship and the break-up was civil - to ask how I'm doing. Do I want to go for coffee today and catch up? My brothers have been worried about me looking after my grandmother 24/7, and one of them hap... read entire post
Fire-flower
posted on May 17, 2008
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An update on what's going on with my grandmother. She is home now, and I have promised her she never has to go back to the hospital again. She is very weak, and I have to help her to the bathroom, and fix her her, and try to get her to eat.I... read entire post
Fire-flower
posted on May 17, 2008
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I've barely slept in days, and in the moments between caring for my grandmother, I've been thinking about why I feel this compelling need to write about death and grief as I have experienced, and am experiencing it. This is what I've come up with:... read entire post
Fire-flower
posted on May 10, 2008
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My grandmother and I have been close literally since I was born. For the last 14 years she has stayed with me. I have people coming to me all the time, saying 'she's so lucky to have you...'.I beg to differ - I a... read entire post
Fire-flower
posted on May 07, 2008
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My beloved grandmother is back in hospital again. She has pneumonia, and the plasma cells have overwhelmed her bone marrow, so that she has hardly any red and white blood cells left. We are treating her conservatively, she may rally, but I can feel her... read entire post
Fire-flower
posted on May 04, 2008
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I have a brilliant chiropractor, and whenever anyone compliments him, he always says "Well I don't get to medicate or bury my mistakes, so I've got to get it right". My grandmother, as some of you know, has cancer, and hasn't been doing too well. I know... read entire post
Fire-flower
posted on May 04, 2008
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I was looking thru' the whole Miley Cyrus debate, and it occurred to me why it was a Big Deal. Teenage girls are 1) Very impressionable, 2) Very insecure, 3) Desperate to fit in. Now I know I come from the dinosaur age, but back in the day, if you had... read entire post
Fire-flower
posted on May 01, 2008
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My grandmother is back in hospital - her blood tests came back looking real bad. It's weird because she seemed to be doing ok. It's a roller-coaster - then she's a bit better, and I'm elated, and then she goes down, and I sink back into this black hole.... read entire post
Fire-flower
posted on Apr 27, 2008
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My grandmother isn't only my grandmother - she is my mother, my best friend, my grandmother, and my child all rolled into one. She was there the day I was born, and it was love at first sight.... read entire post
Fire-flower
posted on Apr 25, 2008
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I remember long ago, when I was still at school, watching one of those 'made for tv' movies about a mother who is told she has terminal cancer. You watch her die by degrees, while her family stands helplessly by, unable to stop the cancer which is eati... read entire post