*Paradox*
posted on Sep 19, 2008
| views: 84
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Tags: life, Me, crazy, random ramblings
They say patterns in behaviour happen and we all have cycles in our lives. I just re-read a lot of my previous posts and despite a change in job etc I am mentally in exactly the same place as I was December 2006...
I hate suburbia, I have ki... read entire post
*Paradox*
posted on Sep 19, 2008
| views: 84
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Tags: Me, crazy, everything
God! Life in suburbia is just too dull... At the moment I'm so bored with it all I could quite literally slit my wrists just to feel something...
I live in a nice house, with a nice husband and we're nice to each other. I have a nice job a... read entire post
*Paradox*
posted on Jan 24, 2007
| views: 140
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Tags: life, Me, random ramblings, marriage, sleeping
I've been up on my positive thinking for the last week now - there have of course been bad days, but thats all par of the course isn't it in this thing called life?
One thing I have realised is my innate need for people to need me, to look to... read entire post
*Paradox*
posted on Jan 18, 2007
| views: 120
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Tags: life, Me, random ramblings
You've all been ever so supportive - you know who you are!
I've spent a bit of time away, reflecting I guess more than anything... About my life and this "dream life" I aspire to and desire the whole time.... Why I have this need for someth... read entire post
*Paradox*
posted on Jan 14, 2007
| views: 110
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Tags: life, Me, crazy
I think one of the big problems in our relationship is that I get treated as a PA or secretary. I work full time. I start earlier than he does, I do an evening class as well but it feels as though he wants me to be the "little woman"... I think that h... read entire post
*Paradox*
posted on Jan 12, 2007
| views: 186
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Tags: crazy, Me, You, oh my
I keep trying to think about where I want to be and what I want to do... Again I keep thinking how lucky I should feel, but my heart doesn't feel in it... Some days it's fine but then the futility of everything hits me and I don't know what to do...... read entire post
I missed my meds last night so maybe this is what has brought on all of the overthinking... Or perhaps the fact that I'm covering reception in a freezing lobby looking out at the saddest decorated Christmas tree ever - it's 6 foot and covered in red and... read entire post
*Paradox*
posted on Dec 21, 2006
| views: 120
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Tags: life, christmas, Me, everything
I feel mean, I've read all of your posts where you're really getting into the Christmas spirit - exchanging recipes, stories and getting full of cheer and I just can't get into it...
When I go over to my inlaws with my husband (it's a traditi... read entire post
*Paradox*
posted on Dec 20, 2006
| views: 110
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Tags: life, Me, crazy, random ramblings
Work has been busy and not a lot else has been happening worthy of blogging so I've simply been reflecting on my own.
I think that a lot of my weird behaviour is linked to my moods and the fact that I almost become someone else when I'm on a ... read entire post
*Paradox*
posted on Dec 11, 2006
| views: 110
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Tags: random ramblings, life, Me, crazy
Again my mind keeps changing. It’s always been this way though, going from one idea to the next and back again. It’s frustrating and confusing. It seems as if my brain is controlled by a number of different people.... read entire post
*Paradox*
posted on Dec 08, 2006
| views: 238
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Tags: crazy, likewise, life, Me, everything
Sometimes I love you so much I never want to be apart from you
Sometimes I hate you so much I want to run away from you
Sometimes I can take on the world and win
Sometimes I can't face the world
Sometimes I can get entheusiastic a... read entire post
*Paradox*
posted on Dec 08, 2006
| views: 198
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Tags: life, Me, random ramblings, everything, love
I think there are other reasons I see sex as being very important to me, and a release… when I was with my first husband – he was a real brute, he drank a lot, he fought a lot and he hit me as well – lovely bloke!... read entire post
*Paradox*
posted on Dec 08, 2006
| views: 110
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Tags: life, Me, random ramblings, crazy, thanks
I guess I've got a lot to get off my chest at the moment...... read entire post
*Paradox*
posted on Dec 06, 2006
| views: 210
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Tags: life, Me, crazy, random ramblings, poem, Cops, e-mails
But it gets tiring after a while. Moving on and striving for the life I want... I honestly did think that I wanted someone simply to make me feel comfortable and be with me. Unfortunately with wishes, they sometimes come true and you realised you wish... read entire post
I’ve read some of the posts of others and they seem to identify with the loneliness within marriage and life that I have. It makes every day feel pointless.... read entire post